do you care if strangers don't know if you have a boy or girl?

brachysira

We are not really frilly people.  M is a girl, and she wears girl clothes, but usually something like pink pants and a heart-printed sweatshirt.  Today at the library she wore lavender overalls, a floral shirt, and pink shoes.  She has the beginnings of a toddler mullet, but her hair is too short for clips and she usually does not wear bows for long.  Literally everyone we see assumes she is a boy, no matter how girly her outfit, although she has never worn a tutu or something.  People are often like, hey, tough guy.  The librarian today says "that little boy, uh, is on the move."  A special needs person on the elevator at the hospital was like, cute little guy...wait, it is a boy, right.  I was like, she's a girl, but that's okay, everyone thinks she's a girl.  I do not like to correct people, but if they ask, I have to.  I don't know what to do to make her seem more like a girl.  I wouldn't be offended if people occasionally were wrong, but every single person thinks she's a boy.  

jesuisfatiguee

That's so odd. People thought DS was a girl when he was really little, and as his hair keeps getting longer, I imagine that'll start up again. I usually do correct people, but I don't get huffy or offended. I usually just say something like, "Oh, he's a boy" and leave it at that. So, I guess I "care" but not that much

Rynleigh

I don't even care at this point. People think Jamie is a girl pretty frequently - he has big blue eyes and long lashes and gets confused for a girl if he's wearing anything neutral. It doesn't help that his favourite toys are baby dolls, a stuffed rabbit, a pink dragon, and jewelry/headbands... I don't care enough about what other people think to bother correcting them about my childrens' genitals. 

brachysira

Yeah, I wouldn't really mind, but it happens a million times/day (give or take --it's not that it insults me, but I just wonder if I'm somehow dressing her like a boy or need to do more with her hair.  Plus, it often does get awkward because people do then follow up--that's obviously a boy, right?  Um, no.  I mean, can't you just say, "cute baby" instead of "what a little tough guy" if you're not absolutely sure.

DublinMama

A few people have confused DS for a girl. I'm not sure how, as most of this clothes are "boy" clothes. They have fire trucks and dinosaurs and stuff on them. But as PPs have said, he has longer hair and long eyelashes, so maybe that's why? I got a little miffed the other day bc I swept DS' hair off his eyes to the side. MIL then goes, "There! Now you look like a little boy!"

Uhhh, what? I can't get on board with comments like that. Hair is on all people. Boys or girls. The length of it doesn't determine if he's a boy or girl. My hair is really short. I'm the "girliest" person I know.

 I get it. It's a different generation and train of thought when it comes to gender roles. But I hate the idea of pigeon holding DS into things bc of looks or gender stereotypes. If he wants to shave his head bald as a cue ball, fine. If he wants to grow it to his a$$ crack, that's cool, too. 

tamarar5

This is one of my pet peeves, dumb I know. But really? If you aren't 100% certain the kid is a girl, don't use sex specific pronouns!

But people couldn't tell if I was a boy or girl until I was 3, despite dresses and ruffles, just because I had no hair. I was an early talker and I have a ton of crib memories, so I remember being two and three and correcting people myself.

I try to never use sex specific pronouns until I know for certain the kid's sex.

Felicity86

It doesn't bother me. I have boy/girl twins. Both fit their respective gender stereotypes 100% (daughter is smaller with long hair, son is chunky and practically bald). People still get it wrong all.the.time. I've heard a lot of people tell me they thought both were boys, "because they're twins." Ummmm...ok.

Edited to add: What does bother me is when EVERYONE asks if they're twins. By far the most frequent question I get.

tamarar5

Felicity86 said:

I've heard a lot of people tell me they thought both were boys, "because they're twins." Ummmm...ok.

Seriously?! I just lost a little faith in humanity. )

elliespiral

My DD gets the same response, I honestly think it's because she has very little hair to speak of. For some reason, esp with little old ladies at the grocery store, apparently a bald baby=a boy baby. Never mind her purple shoes, pink sweater, etc. I don't bother correcting people but I agree, if you're not sure, just say "cute baby!"

I'd also like to have a dollar for every time someone asks me when she is going to grow some hair.

kelly321

@Felicity86 - I have also gotten asked quite a few times if my girls are twins. They are 22 months apart! So even NOT having twins doesn't guarantee you won't get that question

Also, I don't care at all if people say "he" to the girls. If they get embarrassed when they find out DD2 is a girl, I just shrug and say you can't really tell at that age because, well, you can't.

brachysira

Well, at least one good thing about this is that if we have a boy, I can totally put him in M's old heart sweatshirts and no one will think anything about it since no one apparently notices baby clothes.

TarheelMama202

It doesn't bother me. Everyone has always thought DS is a girl. We're told that "she's beautiful" and asked about "her name." Doesn't ruffle my feathers because I don't stick too much to traditional gender roles. I always gravitate towards unisex clothing. I feel like the really gender-specific clothes always try way too hard and I can't handle it.

SidraJedi

If they assume, I let them think what they want and I move along. If they ask, I tell them.

I hate girls baby clothes with lipstick or girls with big sad eyes or princesses etc on them. I dress DD in plain solids or patterns. When I was pregnant I thought that I wouldn't care for any thing too girly to dress her in and I was surprised when she was born and I became strangely obsessed with bows and headbands for her head and bought all these colors. I'm calmer now but maybe that is because she mostly pulls anything that is not a hat off of her head.

ETA: posted too early

jesuisfatiguee

That's kind of hilarious, @pinesnow. I mean, good for her for not caring that a girl was dressed as Spiderman (because some people are still backwards like that), but still funny.

I guess the main reason I correct people is because I would want to be corrected if the situation was reversed. It really doesn't matter ultimately, though.