PCS help - a little long

usarmywifetso

Hello! I'm a long time Bump member but haven't been very active in a while but I am really needing some help now.
DH is in the National Guard and has been since high school. I knew he was in the military when we got married but NG is a LOT different from Active as far as the lifestyle goes. Well, DH has found out that there are some ADOS positions open and he wants to apply. I am a SAHM so having a single income makes things difficult and this will certainly help financially. However, the jobs are all about 200 miles away from where we live now, which is also where I have lived my whole life. This place is my home and moving so far away has never occurred to me, it wasn't really something I had to worry about as a NG wife. Anyways, since I am not accustomed to anything about the Active life, I really have NO IDEA what to expect if he ends up getting orders for one of these positions. So, what I'm asking is how does the whole PCS process work? I know that's probably a fairly long question but I honestly don't know anything about it. I'm worried about how we're going to find an apartment in a short period of time, what happens if we can't get in anywhere right away, how are we going to afford to move and make a deposit and everything else financially involved in relocating, how do we move that far with a toddler. I'm basically freaking out, lol. Also, when his NG contract is up in 3 years, he's hoping to re-enlist as Active Duty so this is probably something that I should learn about so when and if he does go Active and gets orders for a place even more than 200 miles away, I know what I'm doing. Lastly, I'm very close with my family and have always been geographically close to them as well. The farthest I've been was about 250 miles in college and I absolutely hated it (so much so I almost took a semester off to move back home and apply to a closer school) so I'm kind of worried about moving so far from home (both now and later if he goes Active). How do you handle having to move so far away from home? Again, a bit of a long question but it worries me that it will be really hard on me and I'll just be miserable the whole time. TIA for any advice you can offer.

divinemsbee

I'll try here, I don't know a lot about NG moving/movers, though.

When we PCS, we have the option to use military movers and a packing company, or we can do it ourselves and we would then be reimbursed for our expenses on a sliding scale. Personally, I just let people do it for me. Technically what we do is a partial-DITY because we do move some clothes, plants, and our pet stuff and valuables ourselves, but most of it is packed by the packing company and moved by the moving company. Some people have good experiences, some have bad, but that's what I prefer to do. We've had good experiences with it so far. I don't know if this would be an option available to you.

Right now we live on base, but when we didn't, we used part of H's BAH and saved some money to use for moving related expenses (deposits and such). If you're moving near a base, the housing office may have information on different rental homes and apartments in the area. I spent a lot of time online researching apartments. I made detailed lists of what I liked about each place. Then H was able to scout them out for a few days and picked one and I joined him. If you're able to take a couple of days to go scout the area, that's always good.

I haven't moved with a toddler, but I would say try to break the trip up with a lot of breaks. This is also where it might come in handy to use or hire packers and movers to help you out.

The moving away from home thing: Especially considering what you've said, I can see how it would be rough for you. For me, I spent most of my college years a good 700 miles away from family and was fine with it. My mom moved to Utah not long after I finished college, so I'm away from her even when I'm in my hometown. I never expected to live near family all the time. Right now we're a little 600 miles from most of my family. The homesickness for me didn't start until a few months ago, and most of that is based on some family health issues that make it very hard for me to be away. You're dealing with a slightly shorter distance, so that also might help.

How I deal: Either with H or by myself I try to visit about 4-5 times a year. I try to coordinate with my mom on when she's going to be back as well. Generally we plan to go for about a week at a time to make the drive worth it. Also, we have a savings account that always contains enough for a last minute plane ticket. It's the just in case fund. So that if something, God forbid, happens, we can get there and not have to worry about driving.

I talk to my mom, dad, and grandmother at least twice a week apiece. Lots of phone time and texts and Skype and Facetime. It really does help. It's great to be living in a time where we're so much more able to be connected.

Also, what we do try to make sure is that we're building our family of us. Where we live is home. It's our home. I try to get unpacked and decorated as soon as I can after a move because it helps it all feel more real. It is what you make it. If your H going active is the best thing for your family, you can make it work.

usarmywifetso

Thank you so much! This is very helpful. From what I understand, if he gets orders for this position, he will be on Active Duty status so everything should be the same as any other AD soldier. This is great info. Thanks again!

Kredsing

Divinemsbee pretty much summed it up! We recently PCSed to Hawaii and before that we were in California! All of our family is in Texas so it was hard being away from them but we talk/face time all the time and either we visit them or they visit us! Being married to someone in AD, you never know where the military will send y'all but it does have it's benefits. We have gotten to live in some of the most beautiful parts of our country and wouldn't have this opportunity if it wasn't for the military. That's the mind set I have about it now and it keeps the homesickness down. Also, making friends and creating a family type relationship with them makes things so much easier! I really miss the friends we made in California but am making new friends in Hawaii as well as exploring this beautiful island! Just try to keep an open mind about it and it will make things much easier! I know it's hard being away from family but there are some positives to it! Good luck!

Avion22

You also get "Dislocation Allowance" or DLA when you move.  You can apply to get it in advance.  It's there to help you pay a deposit, or purchase incidentals that always come along with moving into a new place (curtains, cleaning supplies, etc).   

In your new location, you will get either Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH) or you might have the opportunity to live on base if there is room.  You don't get BAH if you live on base.  Okay, that might not be 100% true -- some bases have privatized housing, so I think you still are given BAH but then turn around and give it to the housing company.  It depends on the base.  The amount of BAH you receive depends on rank and whether or not the solider has dependents (yours does), as well as the zip code where he WORKS.  You can look up this amount on the internet -- it's a great way to determine how much rent you'll be able to afford in your new location.  You get the whole amount whether you use it or not -- so say you get $1000/month in BAH but rent a place that's only $850/month -- that's $150/month in your pocket to help cover utilities or whatever.   Depending on how much BAH you get and the quality of base housing, you may find that you can afford a better house off-base.  Or you may find that the on-base houses are bigger/better.  It's worth checking out your options :-)

usarmywifetso

Thank you so much for all the great info. It's very helpful and has made me a little more at ease about the whole thing. :-)

drjwj

Wow this is great advice!  We have our first PCS coming up this summer (with a new baby due in May) so this has been very helpful!

Leks

I'd also suggest that you find out about any miltary spouse groups at the base your DH is getting stationed at. It's important, especially with homesickness and anxiety to make friends.That's been my issue right now, is that I haven't gone out of my way to make new relationships (we're only here in SD while my hubby finishes C school- six months. I didn't see the reason to make friends just to move when it starts getting good). BIG MISTAKE. Make friends, find playdates for the kids, and go explore the area you're in, so you can stave off some of that loneliness and homesick.

We're about to PCS with the Navy for the first time. We moved me out on our own back at Christmas.We did it ourselves, and didn't cost us much since it was from the upper LA area to Pendleton.  I'm pregnant, and worried about moving during the second semester. But you can bet, once we get to Washington, I'm going to be knocking on doors and introducing myself to make friends!