Birth Stories

Wild, Free and Glorious: The Utmost Natural Birth Story of My Sweet Sequoia

C_moC_mo
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member
edited November 2013 in Birth Stories
As dawn crept upon me, and the wild winds grew restless at my cheek, I awoke. I had risen but three degrees earlier than usual, as the sun had not quite risen upon my bed of earth. At that moment I knew in my heart that the time must be nearing, for my body to open, for my blessed child to fall upon the earth it would grow to worship. 

For a moment I pondered where I might deliver the fruits of my womb. Where might I find a suitable place to bring my divine gift earth side? Perhaps in the organic kale garden at sundown, where we would be surrounded by mother nature's glory? The creek where I may find myself assisted by the ancient earth bear? Or maybe I might bring new life by the mutilated stump in my neighbour's back yard? Yes, I believe that would be appropriate.

I rose to clear myself with the beautiful woods surrounding me, filled with life, golden light, and the smell of my body's ripe night soil… rather pungent this morning. Reaching down I found a gift from my womb, clearish, sticky, bloody and glorious. smoothing it between my fingers, I decided to bring it with me to the creek that I might wash myself with it… but not before reverently photographing it and sharing it with my likeminded internet friends #thetimeisnearing 

Just two paces nearer the stream I felt the first gentle wave. Calmly I clutched the nearest tree, whispering an earth moan as it caressed my womanly vessel. And then it was over for but 7 cries of the raven. Before long I had to stop once more, this time opening my heart and mind and lungs to the roaring wave. And once again the world was quiet, my moans seemed to have silenced the honking of nearby commuters. I summoned my body's whole power and sped through the woods, my self-weaved hemp skirt and personalized vulva pendant blowing behind me.

As I approached the creek I was overcome with another powerful wave, and dropped to my knees. I pleaded with the earth child 'deliver me of this erotic agony! Cometh forth into the world sweet sweetling'. But alas, the babe was not ready. For some time I rolled in the earth for dramatic effect before enveloping myself in the cool of the creek. The water was frigid and before long I was blissfully unaware of the pain. 'Natures epidural' I mused, smugly aware of my superiority. I floated along in peace, swatting away the occasional cigarette butt, soda can and used condom 'What a waste' I thought to myself. If only everyone knew the euphoria of laying in a creek just steps away from an elementary school, beckoning life into the universe.

A time later I grew weary, the water was unable to conquer my waves, and I decided it was time to move on. As I stood, I felt it. The haste of life! I whispered a moon song to the child as it began to make its way through my folds. Carefully I leaned against the nobel spruce, before commanding my body with all of my wombanly might to bring it forth. At that moment, water burst from my loins, showering a litter of young rabbits with my holy water. And then with the grace and peace never once seen on the corner of 32nd and Main, a cone headed, swollen faced creature was birthed into my bare hands. At once I searched for a penis, that I might hold him up and declare him eternally intact, but no luck. Instead I brought the woman child nearest my cheek and whispered 'Never fear, the lobes of your ears shall remain pure and whole forever' 

And with that, I pulled my garb from my blossomed loins, fashioning it into a wrap, allowing her to suckle as we began the journey home. I peered around me a moment before calling her Sequoia Moonbright to honour the SUV that had been passing as she erupted into the world. Sequoia and I took a stunning (albeit nude) breast-is-best selfie before wandering tepidly home to our cul-de-sac a few blocks away. As my umbilical cord slapped gingerly against my leg, I contemplated parenthood and all of the ways that in just one day I was already a better, more natural mother, than anyone on my street. If only everyone could be like me, motherhood would be easy.

Stay tuned for Round 2: Adventures in lotus birth with a bonus placenta recipe!

Edited twice for paragraphs. 
image

Wyatt [12.10.10] Miles [08.31.12] Eliza [Due 10.18.14]

'Sooo... when your toddler picks up a pair of Captain America underpants and tells you he's going to
'Save America', and you tell him that he lives in Canada and he says 'where?', that's bad right?'

jodegaardLindsayDesigner[Deleted User]trombonercarolyn231723Saltylovekatib77aforstLoolaidezou bisouMissyC979jennypenny1014abbeylanecbMissWhiscelticlullabysopranoalihellosweetie42[Deleted User]linzerdtraceyt07latnprincesstealowlPurrCrasherbethughkneemrsblueeyesceh789[Deleted User]rugbymamaashtogstephweldon21Brewcitygalairidh80DaBearsFansWifeohioloveyouTicketTuesdayMommy2Boys09lmorris014PurpleHippo19Linziloo28crystal8503FamousEaDeardra77perfectlove09bakingmama123erawkaSaragoeswest

Re: Wild, Free and Glorious: The Utmost Natural Birth Story of My Sweet Sequoia

  • Are you some kind of birthing goddess?? Do you teach birthing classes? Teach me your ways!!! Also, I love the name Sequoia! But I'll pretend you named her after the tree and not a unnecessary, environment-ruining car.
    SeptsiggyBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • Ah... yes, however unfortunate that such an unnatural monstrosity was present when Sequoia lept forth into the world. I believe it to be a cruel irony that she will wear with pride as she blossoms into a woman... better that than chemical soaked fabrics right? LOL! 

    image

    Wyatt [12.10.10] Miles [08.31.12] Eliza [Due 10.18.14]

    'Sooo... when your toddler picks up a pair of Captain America underpants and tells you he's going to
    'Save America', and you tell him that he lives in Canada and he says 'where?', that's bad right?'

    jodegaard
  • Do you know where I can get one of those vulva pendants? I think I might want one to whisper into in case I'm ever in labor again and I feel like my body is not listening to me.
    image

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    jodegaardSaltylovenotthecheatfiggs0831
  • CaliVal said:
    What should I name my next baby? Since Sequoia is taken I'm thinking of either Avalon, Nova, or Odyssey...
    Perhaps something more majestic such as Shambhala or something a little more simple like Nightfall?
    image

    Wyatt [12.10.10] Miles [08.31.12] Eliza [Due 10.18.14]

    'Sooo... when your toddler picks up a pair of Captain America underpants and tells you he's going to
    'Save America', and you tell him that he lives in Canada and he says 'where?', that's bad right?'

    PurrCrasher
  • I really can't wait for part two! I'm very intrigued as to how the placenta didn't fall out on your journey home! 

    Also, I'm sending your birth story to my friend who is due any day and hoping for an empowering experience like yours. So wonderful to see mamas taking charge of their births!
    SeptsiggyBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • C_mo said:


    CaliVal said:

    What should I name my next baby? Since Sequoia is taken I'm thinking of either Avalon, Nova, or Odyssey...

    Perhaps something more majestic such as Shambhala or something a little more simple like Nightfall?

    Thank you soooo much! You are my inspiration! I hope my natural birth is half as amazing as yours! Thanks for sharing.

    The Day DH and I were married. 10.1.2009
    image
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  • This is the best thing I've read on this website BY FAR. You just made my night.
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    C_moDeardra77
  • For real?
    ~ filii carissimi, amores meae vitae, luces meae animae ~ 

    photo IMG_7215_zps70b72389.jpg photo IMG_7429_zps7cc25c8c.jpg photo IMG_7118_zpsbad13334.jpg 

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  • C_moC_mo
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
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    edited December 2013
    bromios said:
    For real?
    *Pats @bromios on the head*

    It's okay, dear, we can't all be as perfect as me. #Satire
    image

    Wyatt [12.10.10] Miles [08.31.12] Eliza [Due 10.18.14]

    'Sooo... when your toddler picks up a pair of Captain America underpants and tells you he's going to
    'Save America', and you tell him that he lives in Canada and he says 'where?', that's bad right?'

    Mommy2Boys09brownmousemrsthadababy
  • C_mo said:
    bromios said:
    For real?
    *Pats @bromios on the head*

    It's okay, dear, we can't all be as perfect as me. #Satire
    Oh, thank goodness, I was pretty sure, but one hears some pretty crazy ass stuff from the hardcore natural birthing squad...
    ~ filii carissimi, amores meae vitae, luces meae animae ~ 

    photo IMG_7215_zps70b72389.jpg photo IMG_7429_zps7cc25c8c.jpg photo IMG_7118_zpsbad13334.jpg 

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    shindylahoe
  • Congrats to you and your netheryaya! Now please don't taint the experience by feeding little Sequoia poison (formula) or putting her in "chemical diapers," as they were called in a recent May 2014 post.


     image

    DS: 11/8/11 | 9 lb 7 oz, 22 in
    DD: 5/22/14 | 9 lb 9 oz, 21.5 in


    C_moashtog
  • C_moC_mo
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    member
    jenb_99 said:
    Congrats to you and your netheryaya! Now please don't taint the experience by feeding little Sequoia poison (formula) or putting her in "chemical diapers," as they were called in a recent May 2014 post.

    Don't be absurd!! How could I allow something so unclean and covered in hazardous chemicals to touch my sweet child's skin? No. I weaved my own diapers from fresh cotton and my split ends, they make for finer, more easily weaved hair. As for 'formula', is that some kind of a joke? Even the mention makes me shudder.
    image

    Wyatt [12.10.10] Miles [08.31.12] Eliza [Due 10.18.14]

    'Sooo... when your toddler picks up a pair of Captain America underpants and tells you he's going to
    'Save America', and you tell him that he lives in Canada and he says 'where?', that's bad right?'

    ashtogjenb_99Stephij1
  • Omg you win the internet.
    stellasmommy412
  • I'm a pretty crunchy momma, but this was hilarious! You're a talented writer!

    BabyFruit Ticker
    EDD 12/3 - William Garrett
    DD - Stella Gwen (5YO)
  • C_moC_mo
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    I'm a pretty crunchy momma, but this was hilarious! You're a talented writer!

    Lol! Thank you :)
    image

    Wyatt [12.10.10] Miles [08.31.12] Eliza [Due 10.18.14]

    'Sooo... when your toddler picks up a pair of Captain America underpants and tells you he's going to
    'Save America', and you tell him that he lives in Canada and he says 'where?', that's bad right?'

  • Now, I mean no offense to OP since I love me some C_mo, but I am wondering, is this meant for some specific wingnuts or just about natural birth and breastfeeding in general? While I think it is funny and ironic, another part of me feels a bit upset since I do plan to attempt a birth without drugs (in the hospital with a doctor) and I would like to breastfeed if I can. I personally don't feel like either way is superior. I just can't help but feel alienated by this post.
    image  image
    image
    FTM BFP: 1/23/14 - EDD: 10/5/14 - DD Born 9/13/14
    image
    silverwings72
  • Now, I mean no offense to OP since I love me some C_mo, but I am wondering, is this meant for some specific wingnuts or just about natural birth and breastfeeding in general? While I think it is funny and ironic, another part of me feels a bit upset since I do plan to attempt a birth without drugs (in the hospital with a doctor) and I would like to breastfeed if I can. I personally don't feel like either way is superior. I just can't help but feel alienated by this post.

    I think you're reading into this a bit much. Plan to birth whatever way you wish and don't worry about any other opinions, jokes, etc.
    BabyFruit Ticker

    BFP #1 - 12/12/11 - Missed M/C 1/9/12
    BFP #2 - 4/5/2012 - Son Born 12/12/12
    BFP #3 - 2/2/2014 - EDD 10/16/2014
  • C_moC_mo
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    edited April 27
    Now, I mean no offense to OP since I love me some C_mo, but I am wondering, is this meant for some specific wingnuts or just about natural birth and breastfeeding in general? While I think it is funny and ironic, another part of me feels a bit upset since I do plan to attempt a birth without drugs (in the hospital with a doctor) and I would like to breastfeed if I can. I personally don't feel like either way is superior. I just can't help but feel alienated by this post.

    I think you're reading into this a bit much. Plan to birth whatever way you wish and don't worry about any other opinions, jokes, etc.
     I had a completely natural, drug free birth with my second son. It was a wonderful experience that I hope to repeat, so no, it was not meant to offend anyone specifically. 

    I wrote it because a friend of mine was having issues with a girl who was frequently talking about how much better a mother she was for choosing an all natural birth. It is entirely obnoxious. You could be the most granola, natural woman on earth, give birth in the forest and converse with forest creatures and you are still no better a mother than anyone. ANYONE. 

    So that is the point. Do what you want, all the more power to you. I advocate highly for natural birth, but I honestly believe only 2 things are important at the end of a birth: 

    1. Baby is healthy 
    2. Mom is healthy, physically, and emotionally.

    What it takes to get there depends on the person, and a natural approach is not best for everyone.

    Oops, tagged the wrong person @theotherjacobsons
    image

    Wyatt [12.10.10] Miles [08.31.12] Eliza [Due 10.18.14]

    'Sooo... when your toddler picks up a pair of Captain America underpants and tells you he's going to
    'Save America', and you tell him that he lives in Canada and he says 'where?', that's bad right?'

    TheOtherJacobsonskellyfo14
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