- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Babies: 9 - 12 Months
"if you drink and need a ride, call me"
The Bad Parend Confession made me start thinking...
Do you think that telling your kid this will keep them from drinking and driving? Do you think that they will really call you every time they should? If your parents told you this, did you actually do it every time?
I ask this because SIl is in high school, and MIL, DH, and myself have all told her this, and not once has she called any of us. And I know for a fact that she has driven drunk more than once. But, like most teenagers, she thinks she's invincible and she thinks she can handle it.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: "if you drink and need a ride, call me"
My parents never told me this. They made it clear that I wasn't to drink until I was of legal age. No drinking = no reason to need a ride. They were also very much "Don't have sex" - not "If you want to have sex, just tell me and we'll get you some birth control".
I haven't made up my mind how we'll be when ds is grown. It's much too soon to make that decision.
I think this is a good question.
If MY mom had said this I would not have taken her up on her offer because she WOULD in fact be angry and would've been preachy and I wouldn've still be heavily punished. But if I knew the offer was coming from sincerity, I don't see why not.
I plan to be the sincere type. I think kids will sense it if it's there.
not sure if it would keep them from it, but i will always let them know that they can call no questions asked (that night).......and i will pick them up
the next day will DEF be a conversation thanking them that they chose to call instead of being stupid and driving after drinking BUT it is not acceptable to be drinking
We had a built-in object lesson. My father was killed by a drunk driver. I knew damn well that my mother would rather get out of bed and come get me from a party than the alternative.
I think the important thing isn't to emphasize if your kid was drinking. Joseph will know that he isn't allowed to drink until the state of PA says so. But that doesn't mean he would be in control of what someone else was doing.
My brother graduated in a class of 149 kids. By his 5th class reunion, more than 20 had died in alcohol-related accidents, including one caused by his best friend. Mike wasn't with them that night, but he knew that he only had to call and my mother or I would have come and gotten him so he didn't have to drive with someone who was drunk off their a$$.
Joseph will hear this message. You have any issues at all, you call us, no questions asked, no punishment for calling. Discussion because of it? Yes. Possibly limiting contact with the people in question for a while? Depends. But the important thing will be my son coming home alive.
I'd usually call my parents to tell them I was staying at whatever location overnight because I wasn't able to drive home. This however turned out bad for my slutting habit.
Oh the things we will face as parents.......
After I started college, I would usually stay out overnight at the party if I was trashed... however, my mother once told me that everytime I stayed out overnight, my father thought I was hooking up with someone
Not.true.at.all. Or at least not true most of the time 
My parents always said they would come get me, and while I wouldn't be in trouble that night, there would be a "talk" the next day. They also said if I were arrested at a party for underage drinking and they got a phone call in the middle of the night, I could expect to sit in jail until they woke up and had breakfast the next morning. Then they would come get me. I think they were probably very serious about both.
But honestly, I never drank in HS. Not even once. I wasn't morally opposed to it or anything, its just that none of my friends drank, my parents kept pretty good tabs on me, and it wasn't worth the risk to me. Once I was in college I drank of course, but it was never in a situation where I had to drive anywhere, so it wasn't an issue.
My plan is pretty much along the lines of what my parents said. "I'm not driving my butt to the police station in the middle of the night bc you're a dumbass. I will gladly come and get you and give you a ride home. (I will leave out the part about being in trouble, bc I don't want to scare them into not calling.) Oh, and if I found out you drank & drive, your car is sold, my car is off limits, your license is mine until further notice. And your ass is grounded until you're 47."
That is how I was raised... if you are going to drink than call us before you drive... If you are gonna have sex, cool just use protection! And I ended up becoming a Mormon who neither drinks nor had sex before marriage but that is another story
. My brother has had multiple drug and alcohol related arrests. Another brother arrested him once for one of those DUI's and my sister is a recovering alcoholic so I guess it doesn't really matter what you tell your kids. I think it matters more what example you give your children than what you tell them. For example my father was an alcoholic and that left much more stunning of an impression on us than anything else. 2 of us ran away from it and 2 felt it was no big deal. You don't even want to know how badly my step siblings have struggled with alcoholism. On the other hand my DH was raised in a really good family and none of the 9 kids has ever dranken.
I don't know what Harmon will choose... I hope it will be not to drink b/c alcoholism is a serious diesease in my family. I will raise my child w/no hold bars the dangers of alcohol abuse and hope he doesn't fall in that trap. I worry alot about that! I don't judge those who drink one bit! But with my genetics it is deadly
ditto. actually had called my mom.
Yes, they did and yes I did call them. The reason that I did call is because they never gave me grief and were always glad to come get me.
I will tell Emerson this and hope that she calls me. I'd prefer that she did rather than the alternative.
I made a post about this very thing recently.
Whether they will take me up on it or not, it is the best I can do. Knowing that they will ALWAYS be allowed to call me without facing punishment, and if they can't reach me to use their emergency credit or debit card for a cab ride, they will have no excuse. Therefore if I DO catch them drinking and driving or riding with someone who has, I might seriously revoke their social life for the rest of high school. For realz. One of my very best friends died 2 weeks shy of her 16th birthday in a Jeep accident. And there were others throughout high school that I didn't know as well.
I'm totally willing to have my son hate my guts if I can get him to adulthood alive and well. And I think that it's unreasonable to think he won't ever drink. I won't condone it. But I won't simply forbid it and assume that will do the trick. Some of the biggest drunks I knew in high school had the very strictest parents and they managed to completely pull the wool over their eyes. It was ridiculous.
My cousin died in a drunk driving accident and afterward my mom and my aunt made a deal. My aunt gave me and my brother phone cards (back when people used those, lol!) with her phone number written on the top. She said if we were ever in a bad situation where our ride was drunk or we were drunk or whatever, we could call her and she would come pick us up and either take us home or to her house to sleep it off, no questions asked. She promised she wouldn't tell our parents and it would be dropped. My mom did the same for my 3 cousins.
I never had to use it, but I definitely would have called her before I would have driven drunk. I had a great relationship with my aunt and it was less intimidating then calling my own mom (who I probably would not have called given the same proposition, btw.) I plan to do something similar with my children, just in case. I would rather them get away with one night of drinking than have me find out because they got hurt/killed driving drunk.