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Baby Names
dpdw
member
Why must a child have a nickname? A little vent.
dpdw
member
in Baby Names
Maybe it's because neither my DH nor I have names that have obvious nicknames, but I just don't get some people's insistance that a child have one. When we told a family friend DS's name (Declan) she said, "well what are you going to call him?" I said, "Declan" -- she said, "yes, but what are you going to CALL him??" I repeated myself a little more forcefully, "Declan". And she just scrunched up her nose. There are nicknames for Declan (Deck or Deko), but I don't particularly like them. I like the name I gave him. Ugh.
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Re: Why must a child have a nickname? A little vent.
That is really annoying. Declan is a very nice name and doesn't need a nickname. People should get the message when you really only call him Declan. DH's name is Jeffrey and his entire extended family and all family friends only call him Jeffrey.
Edit: I deleted part of my post because I think some people may be lurking.
My DD's name is Gillian, that comes with the obvious nickname of Gill - pronounced Jill.
When she was born we went through the same thing, people started saying "I can't wait for Gill to get here!" and I told all of them that he name was Gillian...I've never had a problem since. Even when her friends call her Gill she corrects them.
It is human nature to come up with diminutives for very small things. It is an expression of kindness and compassion, not neccessarily a slight on your names.
Say a child has a name that you can't make a nn out of? Friends and family will create a pet name out of whole cloth. Name your child Mary and you'll get "Mare-Bear" "Moo-Moo" or "ReeRee".
It's human nature. People do it to express all the squishy happy lovebug feelings they get when they see a sweet babe. The only trouble is sometimes these names stick.
DH and I are definitely in the middle of this. When we picked DS name we never even talked about nn. His name is Maddox and thats what he will be called. No big deal.
However, I do always consider the nn that could be used with names. But it does not make my decision. I wouldnt veto a name because there was no nn associated with it, just like I wouldnt pick a name just because of the nn.
Hmm, I don't think I agree with you on this one - or at least I don't equate a nickname with a pet name. IMO a nickname is what you call someone instead of their given name -- like Bill instead of William or Rick instead of Richard. A pet name, like "Mare-Bear" wouldn't (normally) be used in everyday conversation as the person's name.
It just so happened that most of the names we liked and chose could not be manipulated. I loathe when others think a nickname needs to be had or better yet, that they try to find a nickname from the original.
None o' that here!
We expressly chose a name that didn't have a nickname because I don't like nicknames either.
My name doesn't have a NN, and I also come from a family where Patrick is NOT called Pat, etc., so it's probably in my blood.
I think a lot of names that are popular right now are a little cutesy, and people recognize that, so they try to think of names that sound more grownup so that a 45 year old woman doesn't have to go by Gracie, because the parents realize that might be inappropriate. So they give her a "proper" name but also want a NN that will be appropriate to a little kid. Some people have a hard time calling a little child a "grownup" name.
I actually adore nicknames, but I can understand why a lot of people don't. But I definitely think it should be the parents' choice (and the child's, once he or she is old enough).
I'm sure it's incredibly frustrating, but I'm sure if you stick to your guns ("his name is Matthew"), eventually people will get the hint.
I agree with the one PP who said that people like to give tiny babies diminuitive nicknames. But just because people want to call your kid Mikey doesn't mean you have to let them.
My name is Shoshana. Lots of nickname potential there (most commonly Shosh or Shoshi, but lots of my friends just call me Sho). My husband's GIVEN name is Ben. Not Benjamin, Ben.
HE really wants to give our children polysyllabic names so they have their choice of moniker (Alexandra, for example, could be Alex, Xandra, Lexie, Allie, Andie or whatever) whereas I would cringe every time I heard my (hypothetical) son Gabriel called "Gabe."
I talked with my dad about how my female frontrunner name is Donatella. He said, "You know people will probably call her Donna. Are you okay with that?" I said, "Dad, are you okay that people call me Sho?" He says, "I never call you that." "And likewise, I will never call my daughter Donna."
I think there are very few names that can escape nick-name-land. Even John and Henry ended up as Jack and Henk. I think we will call our kids whatever we want... and the rest of the world will call them whatever THEY want and we get to smile and let that happen.
I have a nickname. But that's just because people can't pronounce my name properly. So people decided to just start calling me "G"
For some it's a cultural thing. Most of my family members on my mom's side (Mexican) have nicknames:
Juan Luis - Juano
Juanita - Juani
Jesus - Chuy
Ruben - Jr. (even though he's not a junior)
Alberto - Beto
Albert - Bert
Francisco - Paco
Christoff Julius - JC
David III - 3D
Isabel - Izzy
Gisela - Gisi or G
Maria Isabel - Marissa
and the list goes on....
In my family, only my younger brother doesn't have a nickname. My older brother and parents do. My dad has one, and he's German. As in, from Germany (not "I'm 1/16th" German or whatever)
Even my husband has one. My mom's family just call him "El Gringo" and he loves the attention).
I really don't get why people call their children by their middle names. Why not just name them their middle name?
I can see if the parents change their mind about which name suits the baby better after a few months (I know people this has happened to), but to give them a FN and a MN with the intention of calling them by their middle seems odd to me.
Because people associate a diminutive form of a name with closeness and a fond relationship. Like "Hi, my name is Robert, but my friends call me Rob." A nickname is a step outside formality.
Personally, I feel cheated because I don't have one, or the ability to have one. My siblings all do. However, what I really miss isn't the nickname, but the formal name. I wish my mother had named me Lauren, Loretta, Lorraine, Lorelai, whatever, and called me Lori.
Really, I prefer formal names. I call my sisters and brother by their full names. I call my husband Matthew, never Matt. And while we had planned to call Joseph either Joey (my choice) or Joe (Matthew's), he is always, always Joseph for everyone but my niece and nephews who calls him Baby Joey.
I see your point. ?love the name declan and i'd have the same reaction as you. ?What do you mean "what am I going to call him?" - by his name obviously!?
?As for nicknames, I love thinking about nicknames simply because I know that no matter what you name a child, somewhere, someday, someone will come up with a nickname. ?Whether it be initials or something creative - but I think it you DON'T want to use a nickname, especially when they are young and others should call them waht you call them, people should respect that! Once they get to jr. high and high school though, it's all over. Kids come up with their own nicknames all the time.?
Honestly, you will laugh maybe, but I agreed with 'Samuel', JUST so I could call him Sammy. No one else has to. My husband calls him Sam or Sammy, depending how he's acting. My family calls him anything from Sammy to Sammykins to just 'baby' (my sister who has seen him twice, lol)
What does it matter? You can call your kid what you want, they'll likely grow up to choose what they wanna be called anyway. I hate going by my full name, but go by a nickname instead. Less of a mouthful.