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Relationships with girlfriends/best friend/friends who live far away
Do you have a best friend? Do you have a lot of girlfriends? Have you been able to maintain friendships with people who live far away from you? I'm just curious about this. I have a good number of girlfriends but not a "best friend," per se. Probably my best girl friend in town lives close to an hour away so I don't see her too often, but we text and email frequently. I feel like with a lot of our couple friends it can be so hard to get together. We have to plan things weeks in advance. Certainly it's harder for us now that we are parents, but we get a sitter one night a week so we can go out. I've moved a four times since leaving home for college and while a few of my older friendships (h.s. and college) have stuck, most of them faded away pretty fast after we no longer were living in the same cities. I know that happens, but I was always surprised at how quickly it occurred. We are putting our house on the market next month because we've outgrown it size-wise and I really hope we move into a neighborhood with lots of other families with young children. Right now we're surrounded by older people and I think it would be so much fun to have the kind of neighbors and friends where we could just pop over and hang out while our kids play. I guess I've realized that most friendships require being located near each other and I was wondering if this was true for everyone else.
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Re: Relationships with girlfriends/best friend/friends who live far away
Do you have a best friend?
No not really I would like to hve more close friendships but I just don't.
Do you have a lot of girlfriends?
No not really I have a few friends but not a lot.
Have you been able to maintain friendships with people who live far away from you?
Only with Friends that bother to e-mail me back when I contact them, after a few tries if i don't hear anything I just assume they don't want to keep in contact.
We don't have kids yet, so I'm sure things will change some once we do. We are originally from San Diego, but we moved to Las Vegas about 7 years ago. We only have a few friends out here that we actually get together with. We have also met people through work, but it's hard to keep in touch after changing jobs. We have remained very close friends with most of our friends back home though. We visit pretty often, and we keep in touch through myspace, texts, phone calls etc. When we go home it seems like we never left. There are two sets of friends, DH's friends that he grew up with and their wives and my girlfriends from high school. We spend more time with our couple friends, but when I do see my girlfriends it's just like it always was. They get together for recipe clubs every month, birthdays etc., so I get bummed that I am missing out. But, I enjoy living away from everyone and having our space. The price we have to pay for that is missing out on the casual, frequent get togethers. I think it's worth it, most of the time. I totally agree with you on the neighbor thing. I would love to live in a neighborhood with other couples/families that are around our age. Some of our friends in San Diego have that and it seems awesome. I hope you find a good neighborhood to move to!
I do have what I consider a "best friend". I have a couple close girlfirends also. About 5 of them that I try to see a few times a year.
It's tough b/c all of my friends have kids so it's hard to get together with everyone's schedule so we do have to schedule far in advance. Plus, everyone lives a minimum of 45 minutes away - a couple being over an hour away b/c I moved about an hour away from where I grew up to move in with DH a few years back.I have one friend that's local, but she's a bit older, not married, no kids, so she has a different lifestyle. We do like to hang out and go shopping and I work wither her so I see her more often.
I'm hoping to meet other moms in daycare and maybe making friends with some neighbors once our baby is born. There are a lot of moms I see strolling their kids around in our townhouse develoment. We are planning on possibly buying a house in a couple years and maybe we will move to a place where there are a lot of kids also.
Being cooped up in the house on bed rest not going to work in 5 months, now with a new born has got me thinking a lot about friends. I have worked hard to maintain my friendships throughout the years. I have lived in 4 major cities and made good friends in each. It is so tough to keep up with people these days.
None of my good girl friends live near me right now, so it is tough. One of my New years goals to make mommy girlfriends that live right near me. It will help my situation a lot. They will never be my college roommates or Hollywood drinking buddies, but new mom friends that are a few minutes a way will be my god send in the next year.
Do you have a best friend?
Yes. She lives in NC & I'm in OK. We have been friends for 10 yrs now.
Do you have a lot of girlfriends?
Not really. I have fewer friendships and I'm close with those people. I have lots of acquaintances, but not a ton of real friends.
Have you been able to maintain friendships with people who live far away from you?
Yes, but I have a different situation than most people being an Air Force wife. Most of my AF friends know what it's like to move every 3-4 years and put in the effort to stay in touch. For non-AF friends, I'm still friends with the people that put in the effort. Friendship is 2-way. Both people have to call, email, etc, and there are a lot of people out there who won't put in the effort. My best friend totally agrees with that. She has lived in NC the whole time we have been friends. I have lived in NC, England, SC, & OK. We talk on the phone every week & email to keep in touch.
Don't feel bad about not having a ton of girlfriends. There are people in your life who are only there for a season, and that's fine. Others are there for a lifetime, and those are the ones who not only deserve the effort, but give back in return.
I have 2 'best friends", they are my best friends from college & were co-MOHs in my wedding. We all live in different places now (NJ, DC, NC) but we still keep in touch pretty well, I talk to one of them probably twice a week & the other less frequently but still regularly. I do have a lot of close girlfriends but they are mostly friends from hs & college & don't live nearby- my college girlfriends still remain my best friends (a group of about 10 of us still remain in close touch & we graduated 12 yrs ago), and we try to make arrangements to get together as many of us as possible at least once if not twice a year. It takes a lot of effort and I think it is pretty unusual for a group that large to stay in touch so much (although probably 4 or 5 dont stay in touch so well).
I relocated to NC a couple yrs ago and have made a bunch of friends socially but I wonder if I will ever have 'newer' friends that feel like the older ones. I also think once we have kids, some of the friendships will be different & centered around kids, which is ok, but I hope they won't be all about that. It is hard to make new friends & really get close to ppl!