Anyone Else's Mom this Crazy??? (long)

nhonzel · January 2009

My mom came in from out of town for the delivery of our first baby and then planned to stay with us for about 2 weeks afterwards to help us out. My mom and I have always been close. Mom and DH have butted heads at times as mom is kind of a control freak and takes things wayyyy too personally and gets offended extremely easy over things that most people wouldn't (eg. she offers DH some kind of food, he says "no thanks", she asks 3 more times are you sure, DH still says no and she gets offended - So she hates it when people tell her "no"). I am used to it since I grew up with her quirks but DH isn't.

So once we get home from the hospital I notice mom has barely any interest in her brand new, first grandson. The first day we were home the only time she held him or talked to him was when I handed him to her b/c I had to use the restroom. Other than that, she isolated in the kitchen cooking constantly. This struck me as odd. She would also make little comments to visitors like "I'm here to cook" like she was hired help when we had never treated her as such. But it seemed she thought she was "cute" when she said things like that.

A few days into staying with us mom was on the computer and DH/DC and I were watching tv and relaxing after a very busy, stressful day. Mom was trying to book plane tickets online and for some reason it wouldn't work, all the while reading OUT LOUD, WORD FOR WORD her flight details, the instructions on the website over and over and over again. No joke - she does this with everything. Recipes are her favorite thing to read aloud and honestly it gets very annoying. She HAS to hear herself talk. I went over to her and offered to help book her tickets to which I was unsuccessful and I also mentioned to please not talk out loud like that because we couldn't hear the tv. Immediately she got an attitude and got up and did the dishes and wouldn't talk to me anymore. I asked to see her written flight info to try another way to book the tickets and she told me to "forget it!" and "close the webpage!". She then stormed out of the kitchen and went to the guest room.

I went upstairs to ask what had just happened and she said "your DH is in charge!!" over and over and I said "what!!" She started going off about DH who wasn't even involved in what happened, not in the same room even. She would not explain why and after bantering back and forth said this "wasn't working out" and I asked her if she was leaving and she said yes, she was going home. I started bawling and was a mess. DH could not understand what happened either. But she wouldn't tell us why she was so upset so there wasn't much we could do.

The next day before my dad was to come pick her up, mom spent the entire day in the guest room and wouldn't come out. DH went to give her flowers and a thank you card for staying and she looked at him and said "no, I don't need that" and gave it back. He felt so bad, and neither of us knew what to do. Dad came to get her and they were moving her bags and some other things out to the car. DH was helping dad and mom walked up to him and said give me my stuff (large heavy boxes) and DH said "I'd rather not, they are heavy" and mom said "they're MINE, I will take them!!!" DH took her things to the car anyway. I could hear this whole thing from upstairs as I was feeding the baby. I also hear her tell dad to "go upstairs and see the baby before we leave". Next thing I know mom comes into the nursery looks at me and says if I ever feel unsafe around DH I better call her right away implying he would harm me or our baby. I am still feeding DC and already emotional and I tell her she now needs to leave which she did. She didn't even attempt to say a goodbye to her grandson.

She was so mean and rude. I have never in my life seen her do this. It seemed as though she didn't even realize why she was there in the first place - for DC birth. I am so angry right now and DH still has no clue what he did to make her so mad. I want an apology from her for both myself and DH.

Jen&Len · January 2009

yep...my mom is equally as sensitive. I never know what's going to offend her because it's always something that wouldn't offend anyone else. She stayed with us for 3 weeks and did the same thing with the cooking and staying in the guest room. I ended up having a little blow up with her (this was towards the end of her stay) and my more rational dad told her just to leave me alone. Luckily she listened to him.

I hope things work out.

LucyPevensie · January 2009

I think you're going to be waiting a loooooooooooonnnggggg time for that apology - so don't hold your breath. Your mom has some personality problems - and doesn't want to believe that you - her DD - were annoyed with her during her visit or had the audacity to tell her to SHUSH when she was reading the webpage aloud - so she has decided your DH is a controlling psycho. And now she hates him. I'm sorry honey. Just live your life and do the best you can with her. I hope she does apologize at some point.

mandyclaire579 · January 2009

I think it may just be hard for her to know that she isn't "needed", in her opinion. My mom does that talking to herself too but I always just ignore her. Maybe she just can't handle this final stage of you growing up??

samfish2bcrab · January 2009

SOunds like she has communication issues. She's mad about something, who knows what. Until she tells you what it is, you can't resolve it or feel obligated to. I'd write her a letter to that effect.

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Anyone Else's Mom this Crazy??? (long)

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