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2nd Trimester
sabrina69barnes
member
Gender dissapointment?
sabrina69barnes
member
DH and I will find out what we are having on March 4th. I'm worried that I may be dissapointed if I find out we are having a boy. I feel like a really bad mom for saying that. Obviously first and foremost I want a healthy full term baby but I'd really like a healthy full term girl baby.
DH and I don't know if we will be able to comfortably afford any more kids after this baby, who will make #4 total for us. This is a good chance that we won't have anymore children after this. I have a son who is two. DH has a son who is four and a daughter who is almost 5. We have a three bedroom house so DS and SS share a room and SD has her own room. The boys have a bunk bed and I could fit a crib in their room but I don't know if there would be room for another twin bed. Bedroom arrangemnets would obviously be more comfortable if we had a girl.
I know I wont love a little boy any less than a girl once they get here but I still feel really bad for having a strong gender prefrence. My close friends and family know I want a girl. What if I have a boy and he finds out from one of them when he is older that I wanted a girl? I know it's not like anyone is going to go up and tell him "hey, your mom wanted a girl" but what if he found out somehow?
Please don't flame me for this. I already feel really bad for feeling this way. I am just wondering if anyone has or is feeling anything close to this?
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Re: Gender dissapointment?
We found out #3 is a girl on Wed. thats 3 girls, 3 girls. How can we not have hoped for a boy? I was disappointed until I got home and started thinking about all the pink and lavendar dresses and the frills and no puppy dog tails! lol. MIL gave me good advice. (She had 2 boys.)
*"the grass is always greener on the other side."*
There is nothing you can do about the gender of your baby. i can tell that you know that being a mom is a blessing, no matter boy or girl.
Not really the same situation, and not even sure this applies, but this is how I feel.
We won't find out till birth, but if we have a boy, I will be happy because we really want our boy first, but disappointed as well because I REALLY want a girl.
If we have a girl, I will be happy because I got my girl! But at the same time disappointed because the boy wasn't first.
People have asked what I want and I honestly can't tell them. I just know it will be a roller-coaster of feelings that day.
I wouldn't feel guilty if I were you. No matter what, you will love that baby and that's all that really matters.?
My father desperately wanted a boy too...and I'm well aware of this. He got two girls. We are both just fine with the idea because he loved us more than anything. If your baby turns out to be a boy, as long as you love him, he will be fine. Don't put so much pressure on yourself.
I'm hoping for a girl next time. I want at least one of each sex, and I know for certain it's going to be tough to convince DH to go past 2 kids if it doesn't happen next time. We all have our dreams, but like you said, once the time comes you will love your baby regardless.
dont feel so bad.. i hope you do get your baby girl but i really dont have any comforting words for you... sorry
this will be our 1st and dh is set on having a boy i dont really care what we have but i will feel so bad if it is a little girl... because i hate when he really wants something and i cant give it to him. you know what i mean?
You will be disappointed because you can't buy pink... get over yourself.
Don't write crap like this if you don't want to get flamed.
Wow. Someone opened a big can of bitchy tonight, didn't they...
Get over yourself. Person preference is a way of life. She has every right to wish for a girl.
Pregnant women can get so snarky!
Don't feel bad. A lot of women have a preference. I think you are stronger for admitting it. What's important is if the gender isn't your first choice, you come to grips with it before the baby comes. It sounds like you'll love any child that comes into your life - your just hoping for a girl b/c it will simpilify your situation.
PS - Don't worry about the flamer. It's so much easier for her to judge since she doesn't have more than one child herself yet, much less 3.
If you write something like this be prepared to get snarky remarks. The health and wellbeing should be first and formost in her mind that a stupid thought like this doesn't even come out of her "mouth".
And I am not pregnant... pregnant women don't pay much attention.
If room is a problem why did you guys try for another? Maybe it's just me but 2 in a room is enough 3 may start some sibling resentment amongst the boys. I mean it's your life but if anything (minus the gender disappointment) that struck me as odd is this big fact that you told us.
Honestly, I had a sex (not gender, please. Sex is between the legs & gender between the ears) preference. I got my wish each time. It's sheer luck of the draw.
It's not really reasonable to be worried about this because it's completely beyond your control. Dwelling on what might be is just going to work yourself up.
You could get a male child that identifies with a female gender. You just don't know.
I don't understand Gender Disappointment. I just don't get it. You have hopes & dreams for your kids, but getting so wrapped up in sex hopes is irrational when you know it's a 50/50 luck of the draw.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
You're a dumb ass. No one is going to flames her for having gender disappointment. It's a very common thing and it can really make someone feel a lot less of themselves. It's hard on a lot of people. Go kick rocks.