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Hello ~ Just wondering if anyone has a 12yr old Daughter..??..

ghjunkieghjunkie
in Success after IF

Does she come home from school DAILY and LIVE to antagonize you?

If so ~ Does your DH back you up and "handle" the situation, or is it up to you?

My DD has chores on a DAILY basis (not big stuff) and she constantly needs to be kept on top of.  I asked her to do the dishes today before going out to play - her response was no - do it yourself - then started going outside - meanwhile DH was in the garage and I came down the stairs then he yelled, AND LEFT - she continued, and now I'm sitting here with pains in my uterus and I swear to GOD if I lose this baby they're DEAD MEAT.

I HATE it when I'm talking to her about something she doesn't want to hear and starts saying LALALALALALALA.....uuuggghhhh....
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Re: Hello ~ Just wondering if anyone has a 12yr old Daughter..??..

  • hannah&benhannah&ben

    I have an 11 year old daughter but **KNOCK ON WOOD** she's an angel - always has been... polite, courteous, quiet, easy going, eager to please, happy to help (in other words the EXACT opposite of me :) Not sure how I got so darn lucky.

    I'm sure that could change at any time though given that the throes of puberty are right around the corner Stick out tongue

    LOL @ "LALALALALALA" my 4 year son old does that :)

    Hannah

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  • DavezWifeDavezWife member

    I don't have kids that old yet, but did alot of babysitting. the best advice I ever heard about that snotty age was "find their currency" - or you're fighting a battle without the right weapons. Then pick your battles, you won't win them all. If her cell is what she covets most, THAT is the currency you deal in.

    that's all I gotta say about that one, lol.

    Join us - Commit Random Acts of Kindness, and say "I did it for Cricket" Cricket's Cadence
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  • ghjunkieghjunkie

    I'm ahead of you...got her cell - it kills her - her "boyfriend" texted her and asked why DH wants her to dump hi...so I texted back "because I'm not allowed to have boyfriends"...!

    ....lalalalalala....

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  • howleyshellhowleyshell member

    13 (almost 14) yr old step son here.

    We're lucky.  I keep waiting for teenage angst and we just haven't seen it yet.

    I will say that if he pulled the crap that you're daughter's pulling he'd have NO life.  No video games, no cell phone, nothing.

    Heck - he got one C on his last report card and it was almost that bad!

    "No - do it yourself" wouldn't fly here.... not for a minute.

    DH being an a ss about it too would seriously not fly.

    I'm sorry you're having a tough day.

    Hopefully tomorrow will be a better one for all of you!

    Our IF journey: 1 m/c, 1 IVF with only 3 eggs retrieved yielding Dylan and a lost twin, 1 shocker unmedicated BFP resulting in Jace, 3 more unmedicated pregnancies ending in more losses.
    Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
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  • not_finishednot_finished
    I have an 11 year old, but luckliy I am in Hannah's boat.  She is the exact opposite of me, and a very good kid.  She definitely has her moments though.  I have always resorted to taking away the cell phone, computer, or TV and that seems to do the trick so far.  Good Luck!
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  • ghjunkieghjunkie

    I'm just REALLY scared of losing the baby I was told I have YESTERDAY.

    I am having pains like you wouldn't believe - then I posted the same question on TTTC board, and they're really PSD at me (I wasn't thinking and just wanted some advice..) ~ the pains are subsiding, but I had to go out back for a walk and sat out there for a while....meanwhile DD is inside half-doing the dishes and half texting - that's when I took her cell away.

    God please don't take this from me.....

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  • turkishdelightturkishdelight

    I don't have a 12 year old but I worked in a middle school for years and coached 7th grade cheerleading so i"ve had some experience with girls her age.  You really need to talk to your DH and get on the same page.  Then you need to think of some consequences and rewards.  It usually helps if they have something they earn for doing their chores---it doesn't have to be money....it could be computer time, her cell phone, anything she'll be willing to work toward.

     

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  • ghjunkieghjunkie

    I already do that - and sometimes it works - sometimes it doesn't but I HATE the arguing on a constant basis - it just wears me out - and now that I found out I'm pregnant I am REALLY trying to keep myself calm, but with her mouth I just can't take it anymore - I keep warning her I'll send her to military school, and as much as I'd HATE it, it just might help her - that or a convent.

    She is picking up really bad manners at school with all the other kids, and it's just getting worse.  Other kids I've dealt with (being a 7th grade CCD teacher w/25 in my class) don't act like that - in school or out - I think it's mostly the only child syndrome because everything is centered around her.

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  • howleyshellhowleyshell member

    I totally understand how the arguing on a regular basis isn't working for you and makes you concerned for the new babe (congrats by the way!)

    The trick here is that her attitude problem needs to be HER problem.

    I highly recommend the book "Parenting with Love and Logic".

    It's got great tips for removing the power struggle from your relationship.

    It'll give you tools to help make more natural consequences instead of the back and forth bickering over every little thing she's asked to do.

    It'll help keep your blood pressure down and will actually help put her on the path to becoming a more responsible young lady.

    HTH!

    Shell

    Our IF journey: 1 m/c, 1 IVF with only 3 eggs retrieved yielding Dylan and a lost twin, 1 shocker unmedicated BFP resulting in Jace, 3 more unmedicated pregnancies ending in more losses.
    Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
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