sad to be here

Chris'sgrl · January 2009

My husband and I just recently lost our baby girl at 24 weeks. We went for the monthly midwife visit on Thursday and they couldn't find her heartbeat. We then went to the hospital where 2 ultrasounds confirmed that she has passed away. I went in the following day (friday) to be induced and I delivered my beautiful girl, Kaitlyn Rose, on Saturday night. We were surrounded by family and our pastor and we got to hold her and sing to her and we took lots of pics. The hospital staff was amazing and they gave us a memory package for Kaitlyn.

But I miss her so much. I can't go on FB anymore because all my friends are pregnant. I have been so emotionally drained lately and we have more family coming to visit. We are having a celebration of Kaitlyn's life tomorrow which I think will be helpful, yet sad. It seems impossible to get back to life and I don't want to go back to the "normal" routine without my baby. I'm dropping weight and it makes me feel awful...I should be gaining weight!

My husband has been amazingly supportive and we're looking into perinatal loss support groups. But I shouldn't be here. I have a few weeks off of work, which is good because the thought of work is way too overwhelming.

Anyways, thanks for reading. I'm finding this board to be so helpful in such a crappy time.

anngee410 · January 2009

I am so sorry for your loss...life has a strange way of beating us up sometimes doesnt it? I like the idea of you celebrating her life. I hope it helps you thru the grieving process. And remember...we are all here for you. Hugs and prayers are coming your way!

californiastars · January 2009

I am so sorry for your loss. The ladies on here are very supportive. Let us know if you need anything (encouraging words, prayers, ect...) We are here for you.

ibis · January 2009

I'm so sorry. It sounds like Kaitlyn was much loved during her short stay with you. *hugs*

vml14 · January 2009

***I'm sorry for the pg ticker below, I know they are hard to see. But, I wanted to respond since I also had a late loss.***

I am so so sorry you are joining us. I lost my baby girl Valerie Ann at 21 weeks back in May. It's just awful, and there really are no words that make it any better. Time helps some. I'm glad you are getting the support of your family, and that you have time off work. I needed lots of "me" time after our loss. We are here for you. I want you to know that all of your feelings are completely normal. I still have trouble being around people who are pregnant and new babies.

I highly recommend going to a perinatal support group. I have been going to a monthly group since 2 weeks after my loss, and it has been so very helpful. It is nice to realize that you are not alone and that others out there have been through this and have survived. I have also found it very helpful to hear from ladies who have been there how they have handled some of the tough situations like the EDD and holidays. If you have trouble finding a group, let me know and I'll see if I can find some resources for you.

We have a "check-in" email each week for people who have had a late loss -- it comes out on Wednesdays. Check in with us!

Many, many hugs to you.... and please page me if you want to chat. I'll be thinking of you.

KateAndMark · January 2009

I can't even begin to imagine what you and your DH are feeling right now. I just wanted to say how sorry I am and you, your DH and Kaitlyn will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Jojojojo · January 2009

So sad to see you here and I am very sorry for your loss. I don't know if you were ever lurking here before but there is also a very wonderful late loss support group on this board that check in weekly. ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))

katie2shoes · January 2009

I am so so sorry. I also had a late loss at 18 weeks. It can feel so isolating and devastating. I found this board a great comfort. Big hugs and lots of love to you. I'm so sorry that this happened.

*Willis* · January 2009

I just wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss. ?I can't imagine the pain you are going through right now. ?I am glad you have family to support you through this time. ?

BeckyS1211 · January 2009

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my son Noah Jay at 22 weeks 6 weeks ago. I know how hard it was for me, and I can imagine how heartbroken you are right now.

I am so happy that you are having a life celebration for Kaitlyn. We had a visitation for Noah and I think it really helped. What also helped me was making a scrapbook from me to Noah...it had all his ultrasound pics, my belly pics, pics of DH and I putting his crib together. Then the rest of the book is filled with memories that the hospital made for us...birth announcements with hand and footprints, pictures, etc. We also bought a shadow box/frame and put his quilt, hospital bracelet, mold of his footprints, and a picture of the build a bear that we made him (we ended up sending it along with a picture of mommy and daddy with him). It hurts to look at these things, but I promise you it does get easier and you will be so happy that you have those memories of Kaitlyn (I love the name by the way!).

I don't know if you're a "talker" or more of a "quiet" kind of person but I've found that talking about him helps me to feel better. I am so truly sorry about your little Kaitlyn...if you ever want to talk page me or you can find me on the TTCAL board. :::Big Hugs:::

Mommy2AJ · January 2009

I too had a late loss. At our big u/s, it was discovered that our son Brady had a devastating heart defect. We delivered him stillbord at 20w5d. We had a memorial for him and it truly helped. I wish you the best of luck with the healing process. Keep in mind that it is not a linear process--it's much more circular. You will have some good days and some bad days. If you ever need anything, you can page me over on TTCAL. (((bigs hugs))) I know all our angels are playing and watching over us.

sgrl · January 2009

I am so sorry for your loss. **HUGS**

Anna&Matt · January 2009

I am so sorry for your loss. Take all the time and space you need from your friends until you are ready. ::big hugs::

Lucky428 · January 2009

I am so sorry for your loss. I also named my girl Caitlyn. You are in my prayers...

JenyM · January 2009

From the bottom of my heart, I am sooooo sorry for your loss. No one should have to go thru this especially that far along. Just know you have plenty of support here.

You and your little girl will be in my prayers.

Dontblink · January 2009

I apologize for my ticker but really wanted to respond to your post. My history is in my siggy, as 2008 was a horrendous year for us. We lost our son a year ago at 21 weeks. Very similiar situation as you. In fact your opening paragraph about how you found out, were induced, etc. are the same. I am so sorry for you loss and I am always here if you need to talk. I still go to a support group at the hospital I delivered at and it has been so helpful. Take care of yourself and your husband...I am here if you have questions.

BEAUNAL · January 2009

I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious daughter Kaitlyn Rose. What a beautiful name. This board is amazing and full of women who are here to help you and lend their support. These sites may also lead you to additional blogs of support :

https://stirrup-queens.blogspot.com/2006/06/whole-lot-of-blogging-brought-to-you.html

or

https://www.glowinthewoods.com/about/

Sending lots of prayers and hugs to you and your DH

irishbaby0708 · January 2009

I am so so sorry for your loss. Iknow that there are no words that can make you feel better. I find talking to my baby girls helps me feel more at peace. Just take one day at a time and only think how your going to get through that day. If you think to far in the future it can some times be overwelming. If there is anything I can do please let me know.

I think it's wonderful that your having a celebration of your little girls life.

lnle · January 2009

I'm so very very sorry. what a horrible thing to go through. I'm glad you got to hold your baby and take pictures. ((hugs))

mrshutch · January 2009

I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I wish you all the best for tomorrow and hope that you're able to find some peace through the celebration of her sweet life.

RJHarmon · January 2009

I am so deeply sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts.

here4u · January 2009

I'm so sorry. It hard to lose a baby at any gestational age, but later in the pregnancy just doesn't seem right. HUGS. I like the celebrating life idea and that you had a pastor there. We had our baby girl's ash's blessed and it made me feel so much better.

shellyrmml · January 2009

I am so very sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my prayers.

God Bless.

BeachBride72106 · January 2009

I am so sorry for your loss. My son Wyatt was stillborn at 32 weeks last May. Take all the space and time you need. Time does make things easier but it truely takes awhile. Please join our Late Loss check-in's on Wednedays. It is nice to know you are not alone in this awful event. When you are feeling strong enough there is a wonderful book call An Exact Replica of a Figment of my Imagination: A Memoir by Elizabeth McCracken. It is a book about her stillbirth at full term and there are many things she says that explained how I felt when I couldn't put my emotions into words. Big Hugs and we are here for you if and when you need it.

chrissyt27 · January 2009

I am soooo sorry for your loss, I know it's horrible for everyone, but I can't imagine being so far along.

tpetters · January 2009

I am so very sorry for your loss. I also had a late loss, at 20w, back in August. I know how hard this time is for you. I hope you find some answers as to what happened, if you don't know already, to help with some closure. We were never able to find out why our Nathan passed away. Please know that these ladies are fantastic and will help carry you through to the TTCAL, then SAL boards when you are ready. Big hugs to you.

MrsLeiboToBe · January 2009

I am so, so sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

equestrian@heart · January 2009

My heart breaks for you and your family. Please know that this board is a wonderful place for support. I'll be thinking of you and praying that you can be given the time and strength needed to grieve for your beautiful daughter. (((HUGS)))

CMM05 · January 2009

I am SO sorry for your loss......there are no words. You are a VERY strong person, regardless of how you are feeling right now......just keep reminding yourself about that. It sounds like you have an amazing support system and that is really important.....this board is a really amazing place too. There are many girls who have had late losses like you and I hope you find the support you need here. I have had two losses, although mine were earlier than yours........I just don't have more to say b/c I know that words don't always make it easier. Please take care of yourself and let us know when you need support.....

(((HUGS))))

irishmama13 · January 2009

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my son at 31 weeks in July. It's the worst kind of pain. Lots of people will tell you this but it does start to feel a little less painful and does get a little easier with time. We are all here for you whenever you need. Please take care of yourself and do whatever you need to, to get through this. Big, big hugs to you.

timmylulu · January 2009

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. ?It will get easier, I promise you that. I think that it is a good idea that you are taking some time off to adjust to this sudden change, you need this time to mourn. ?I think that it is a good idea to talk to a counselor, we found it very helpful to talk to someone as a couple.