Adoption
Options
Starting our home study next week...
So, my husband & I go for our first interview with the home study social worker next Tuesday and I'm a little nervous. My husband's friend from his job has also adopted, but about 10 yrs ago and has told him that they ask all sorts of weird and crazy questions. What type of questions do they ask? We heard that they will ask about our sex life, if my husband masturbates and what he masturbates to or thinks about when he's doing it. I think this is absolutely ridiculous if they do ask these questions. This is what my husbands friend told him he was asked when him and his wife went through the home study process. Are we required to answer these type of questions if asked or can we refuse to answer them? If we did refuse can they deny our home study?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Starting our home study next week...
I really hope those are not questions they ask. The look on my face is close to
We have not had homestudy done yet, but I am super curious as to what people reply.
Good Luck next week
That was exactly the look I had on my face when my husband told me that. If they do ask questions like that I think it's absolutely ridiculous and none of their business. People who can get pregnant don't get asked questions like that so why should we. I guess will see. I'm hoping some people who have gone through this already will respond soon cause I need to be reassured that this will not happen.
I have never heard of anyone being asked these questions, we wont go through ours until Feb. I think they stick to questions about your childhood, how you were raised, discipline methods, were you ever abused - did you grow up in an abusive home, how you and your husband met, what brought you to adoption, why you want to adopt, if you had IF have you worked through those issues - how did you work through those issues, what is your relationship like, how do you handle disagreements/communication, how long you have been together, what are your strengths/weaknesses, questions about your medical history, financial ability, your general temper, what kind of support network do you have in your extended family, if you are adopting a child of a different race/ethnicity/country how have you educated yourself about their culture, how do you plan to integrate it into their lives, and so forth.
Others who have been through a homestudy will be able to provide you better information. I have heard that the home study, the requirements, and questions can vary depending if you are adopting domestic, international, or entering into the state-foster care.
Even IF these questions were asked of your friend, times change - legal and social practices of even a few years ago may be outdated in some states ... I have not heard of anyone that we know of who has adopted asked these types of questions. Why don't you contact your agency and ask your caseworker about the types of questions that you will be asked.
IF those questions are asked, which I find highly unlikely, I would not answer them and I would be on the phone with my attorney very quickly. There are some personal questions that are asked but sex and masturbation habits I am willing to put money on are NOT asked.
Thanks! I was thinking about calling the agency to ask, but thought they would think something was wrong if we asked.
lol you have to stop over-analyzing and stressing!
Easier said than done.
Well - we are in NJ also - going through DYFS....and yes, they do ask about your sex life. But, I never heard about the questions of masterbation.
These are the types of questions (some were a check box type of thing)
- Are you (as a couple) sexually compatable? (very, somewhat, etc)
- Are you statisifed with your current sex life?
- Sexual experiences as a young person (check box answers like "awkward, forced, painful, pleasurable, regretable, too young, etc")
- Were you open about sex with your parents (check box answers)
There is tons more, but I don't have the paper in front of me.
To me, I thought this were pretty straight forward. And it was a questionaire thing that we handed in. I guess if any of our answers were "weird", they would have been brought up in additional interviews.
They don't ask things like if you use toys, or have fetish things, or kinky sex, or how often, or if you are a screamer. I don't think any of that is anyone's business.
My Blog