children invited?

ghl · January 2009

I was just curious what everyone thinks of this. My friend who is co-hosting asked me if I wanted little kids at my shower or not since a number of friends/relatives have kids in the toddler range of ages and have been asking her if they can bring them. It would add about 10-11 kids to a guest list of 40 since I would expect if we say yes to one, we really should say yes to all. Would you include the kids? Is it appropriate to include them?

My thought right now is that I personally don't have a problem with children at a baby shower being hosted at a relative's home as long as the hosts are ok with kids in their home. I can see at a restaurant, I'd be reluctant to have a bunch of little kids who will likely be bored and have the hosts have to pay per person. For a party hosted in a home w/ food being prepared by the hosts and not catered, it's not a big difference in cost and would help some guests feel welcome, as long as the person whose home we're in is comfortable about having extra little ones around. For now I've told my friend I personally would be fine w/ the kids coming but to make sure it's ok with DH's aunt who offered to have the shower at her house.

RoxyLynn · January 2009

I've never seen children at a shower and would find it very odd and, frankly, unwelcome. The attention is supposed to be on the guest of honor, not on keeping little Abigail out of the potpourri and away from destroying the presents and out of the cake and saying hello to the mom-to-be when you have a second.

And I've never fully understood "invite one, invite all", either. I'm tremendously close to my nieces, but not to my college roommate's daughter who I see every few years when I travel that way.

Anyway, it's your decision. If you're comfortable with it, go for it as long as the hostess agrees.

Mrse916 · January 2009

I'm on the other end of the spectrum... I've never been to a shower where children are not welcome. I guess it's just dependant on your circle and what you are comfortable with. Only you can make that decision. Oh and I've never felt the attention was taken away from me by having children at either of my showers (I had 2 as my kids are 7 years apart). It's about celebrating with your loved ones. Not attention. JMO.

hopefulmom · January 2009

Personally, I don't like kids at showers. Like the pp said the attention is on the kids. Obviously the moms would be running around keeping kids from biting, hitting, etc. each other and keeping them out of things they shouldn't be in...like presents. With the amount of kids you described it is like a daycare. Have you ever been to one? If not...check one out. They are a mad house. How would a guest actually enjoy the shower? I know I would not enjoy it if I was guest. If the mom wants to bring a nursing baby (meaning non-walking) then fine. Any child older should be left at home. You can obviously do what you want and maybe in your circle people do that so everyone is accustomed to it. If I saw 10 toddlers playing around when I walked it I'd probably drop off my gift, say hi and good-bye to the guest of honor and make up an excuse for why I couldn't stay. Keep in mind that some people like to be away from kids once in a while...even for a couple of hours.

Mrs.Carlybella · January 2009

i have only seen 1 infant at a restaurant shower, and i have seen infants and toddlers at home showers.

DiscusCoach · January 2009

In my family we have had both. It kind of depends on the location and the person hosting. I have not seen a shower with friends that invited kids (unless they were still nursing). That was a good point made in an earlier post.

The way I see it, young ladies are learning from their aunts and cousins. This is a great place for them to see good examples of families, friendships and all the good stuff that comes with. If someone wants a break from the kids then leave them with DH. If it is a major issue than hire a sitter for the location or at a designated house. We've always been rather tribal with our children (my husband pointed this out to me and I just thought it was normal). If there is a toddler we are all playing and watching out for him/her but again, that is at an all family shower. We live in the same town but we don't get to see each other that much.

It does sound like, with 40 attending and potentially not having the great out doors as a release valve, 11 more could be a pinch.

I seem to have taken both sides here. I'm with you - either works.

Fluffy · January 2009

My thinking would be similar to yours. I think kids are part of the community and should be involved in all aspects. But they might not have a good time and are a considerable expense here, so I could see leaving them out.

CaseyT14 · January 2009

I have been to both, showers with kids and without and prefer it without. I feel everyone including the mom-to-be can concentrate better on what's going on without being concerned about what the kids are getting into. I was at a shower a few months ago for a mom who was having her 3rd child and her kids were there and she couldn't even enjoy opening her gifts or mingling with the guests because she was worried about what the kids were doing and if they were behaving. I felt bad for her because she seemed so frazzled. I would say no kids.

KimmyB111304 · January 2009

I always see kids at baby showers...I guess because they think the shower is about a baby, that means it's a free for all to bring your kids too. Personally, I would prefer not to have kids at my shower to keep it from being a zoo, but I don't know that I would actually tell the hostesses to say "no kids" or anything like that. So I am sure there will be some kids at my shower, but hopefully not too many. Yikes, is it bad that I am going to be a mother and don't want a bunch of kids running around?!?!

LOL

KYRN · January 2009

Most of the showers I have ever been to are home showers, and b/c I am one of the youngest in the family and circle of family friends there are lots of little ones and they typically come to the showers. There are so many that I did not invite kids to my wedding except for out of town guests. I am a kid lover but I did not want my cousins chasing after their little boys and it was a space issue.

That being said I'm sure there will be children at my showers, I don't really have a problem with it except that my SIL's baby shower was about 2 months ago and one of her cousin's brought her little boy who is 2 and pretty wild and her baby girl that's abou 4-5 months. Well she had no control over the little boy who kept coming up opening presents and throwing a fit when his grandma would come up and pull him away from the presents (which didn't happen often enough IMO). I will be annoyed if this happens at my shower.

omalley · January 2009

My mom and sisters are hosting my shower at my mom's house and kids are definitely welcome. My personal feeling is that it is a baby shower not a formal event - we will be mingling, eating, and opening presents. I love the idea that there will be little kids running around b/c that is part of what we will be celebrating.

.

KimmyB111304 · January 2009

KYRN:

Well she had no control over the little boy who kept coming up opening presents and throwing a fit when his grandma would come up and pull him away from the presents (which didn't happen often enough IMO). I will be annoyed if this happens at my shower.

This is what annoys me about kids being at a shower. They always want to open all of the presents and most of the time people think it's cute. It annoys me when I am at other people's showers/birthday parties, so I am sure it would annoy me at my own!

BCLong21 · January 2009

I have seen little ones at a baby shower before. I have no problems with the kids being there. Some moms are not able to get babysitters during certain times and this would limit who would be able to attend your shower.

My nieces came to my Bridal Shower and were very excited to be there. They wanted to help me with everything. I personally will not say no to kids being at my baby shower.

Jacquie_Palma · January 2009

We hardly do anything in my family without kids, so I know there will be kids at my shower. We have a large age range too, so some of the older ones (9-11 range) love helping keep the littler ones happy. We usually use our church fellowship hall too, so there's a lot of space for the kids to run around.

jmh7905 · January 2009

Most showers I have been to with my family/friends do not have children for the reasons stated by PP, on the other hand my DH's family tends to invite children to showers. My family tends to have restaurant showers and DH's family tend to do home showers, so I think that is definitely a factor. Since the shower is at someone's home, the expense is not as much of an issue. Your friend should ask your aunt what her plans are for inviting children. Since it is her house, the aunt should make the call.

Sarife08 · January 2009

As long as you don't have a problem with the kids sticking their fingers into the pretty cake or double dipping into the snacks or pulling down decorations then it's fine. But just as a thought, you can ask your relative have a "kids corner" so they will steer clear of anything that will cause a bad reaction to you or party guests.

DeafiesBride · January 2009

My only problem with kids at showers, or at other "adult" parties is that their parents/moms are so busy trying to pay attention to their kids - keep them out of trouble, keep them busy, etc. - that they end up not enjoying the party themselves. I guess I see showers as places where the adults are the kids, not the kids. So I would want my guests to have a good time.

jnealet · January 2009

I'm kind of in the same situation - I'm had 35 people on my invite list and there were a potential of 10 more if kids were invited. I've asked that my shower be at my house, so there isn't enough space for 10 more people running around.

I wouldn't mind if my nieces were there, who are 5 and 7, but it's tough to say some can come but not others.

I am wondering which kids are going to show up, which mom is going to bring her child or children and then let them run wild. It's going to be interesting.

jb1681 · January 2009

I threw a shower for my best friend and solved the issue by saying yes to those that asked, and setting up a room just for the little ones. I hired 2 teenagers to watch and play with them, and set them up with their own snacks and such. It worked beautifully. I paid for the sitters, but most of the moms tipped a little something to the girls when they realized that this had been taken care of for them.

At more recent parties we have offered this to friends so that "I can't get a sitter" won't keep people from coming. We usually split it up into a very reasonable amount per hour (we cover about half of it) and just make it an option when we have an event. Everyone loves it and asks - "are you gonna have the baby sitters?" Plus, they feel good that the kids are just in the next room.

teach101 · January 2009

I am personally at kids being at a shower, unless they are infants parents have to watch them and it's not as much fun for them to just sit and relax and one thing that I personally HATE is when kids are opening the presents. I don't want to go to a shower where there are a bunch of kids clammoring to open the intended recipents gifts. This is just my personal opinion but it is shared by most of my friends and the recipient is usually just being poite but is annoyed as well. Just something to think about. However it you love kids and the kids your inviting then by all means. Just keep in mind the parents who will be stuck watching them, I suppose age here is an important factor as well.

GL

teach101 · January 2009

oops, I ment to say against kids at a shower.....

amhough · January 2009

I guess it depends on the child and the mother, IMO. At my bridal shower my young female cousins came with their mothers, but no one brought their sons. These same female cousins (ranging from 5 to 15) will probably all be invited to my baby shower (I say probably since I'm not mailing the invites), but that's usually how my family does it. But I've never seen anyone bring a really young child that would need constant supervision and would act inappropriatley. I think it's a fmaily occasion, they are family, and like someone said, it is part of the legacy of growing up with your family.

azcobride · January 2009

I would prefer not to have kids at my shower for all the reasons listed above. The shower is being held at my house and it will be tight enough space as is. However, many guests are traveling from several hours away to come so I don't feel I can say no kids. I will potentially have 3 one-year-olds, 1 three-year-old, and 1 four-year-old. I want to set up a kids area but I think the little ones will be too little to entertain themselves. Maybe I'll have to see about a sitter- that is a great idea!

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