Stay at Home Moms

from what time in the evening does your husband

help you with the baby...my ds is 10 months old. by the end of the day, i am exhasted...tonight i just had had enough because we put ds to sleep and for some reason the alarm clock went off! so he woke up. i went downstairs and got dh to come up and deal with him. i am just exhausted today. i told him he can be "on call" the rest of the night. I know that was harsh but i need a break! Anyone been there on this one?!

Re: from what time in the evening does your husband

  • DH works from 8-8:30 most days, so he is with DS for a half hour in the morning and doesn't get home until after DS is in bed. It is exhausting, but he helps a lot on weekends.
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  • During the week: he usually gets home around 5:30 and takes over around 5:40.  Feeds her, plays, I help with the bath, he puts her in her jammies, reads her a story, and puts her to bed.  If she wakes up before he goes to bed around 11 he deals with it. 

    Weekends:  he gets home at 5:30 on Friday and takes over and has "baby duty" till 11pm Sunday.  I help him out a little, but for the most part it's all him.

  • I can relate, too! 

    DH works in film and there are MONTHS on end of him working 65-75 hour weeks PLUS an 8-10 hour day on Saturdays... this "crunch time" actually started the moment he started this new job just before Emily was born and has occurred three more times in the past 2 1/2 years and I feel like a single parent each and every time.  It's rough those 3-4 months!  :(

    When it's not "crunch time", he works 10am-7pm and before Emily turned 2, she was already in bed by the time he got home... not much help to me except in the mornings!  Now that she's older and is in bed around 8pm, he comes home about the time she needs to get in the bath so, he takes over and does bath time, gets her in her PJs and brushes her hair and reads her stories for 1/2 an hour.  He does the entire bedtime routine, getting her into bed and then, we have dinner together so, I get that hour to myself every night and it's heaven!  :)

    Weekends we work as a team and take turns sleeping-in so that each of us gets extra rest and some alone time.  If I want to go off alone on Saturdays, he gets Sunday and we both try to do it during her naptime so that we can spend the rest of the weekend as a family.  It has worked really well for us!

    eclaire 9.10.06  diggy 6.2.11

  • Dh travels for work from Monday - Friday so he helps A LOT Friday-Monday morning...but I'm alone the rest of the time with the 2 kids.  It's a long 4 days.
  • I totally understand. DH gets home from work around 5 or 530. He plays with DD or holds her while I cook dinner but then he is on the computer doing more work or homework the rest of the night. I have to beg him to help give DS a bath or feed DD if I am too tired. He is working on his masters degree and has 2 classes right now so I try to be understanding but I can only do so much. I do all the housework and 95% of taking care of both kids. The things he does I have to beg him to do most of the time. I get up with them always while he sleeps. During the week we are both up me with the kids and him to go to work but on the weekends I get up and he sleeps til 10 or 11. It is very frustrating and I blow at times too.
    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
  • DH leaves before she gets up in the morning and gets home around 6:30. He plays with her while I finish getting dinner ready, we eat, he plays with her while I clean up from dinner and he does bath time and gets her ready for bed. I go in and read a story, give her bottle, and put her down. He helps out a lot on weekends too.
  • My husband works really close to our house, so he doesn't leave until about 8:50 in the morning, so we get a lot of time with him before work, which is nice... but he usually works pretty late (sometimes until 7 or 8.. usually until 6:30 or so, including Saturdays) so I've just become accustomed to doing everything alone.  When DH is actually here in the evening, it's a bonus, but I don't rely on him being here.

  • Dh does a combonation of traveling and working from home. When he is OOT it's all me but when he is home and not on a conference call he tried to spend as much time as he can with ds. My free day is Saturdays so he gets up early and stays with him all day so I can go to the gym and do errands I want to do for me baby free. At night when dh is home we watch some shows together after ds goes to sleep and when I go to bed he is on duty until he goes to bed so I go and sleep w/o the baby monitor in my face.
    Colin Patrick-7/14/08 Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers imageimageLilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I am like the pp dh will b gone 5 days this week and I am an ep so it makes it even harder. It is really hard when dh is on a confrence call my ds and I have to go hide out in the bedroom so we don't make to much noise. he will b gone 4 days next week as well. Sad
  • Dh usually gets home by 6pm at the latest.  He takes over for the most part, I help w/bath and feed one of the babies after bath.  He puts them both to bed though and checks on them and does at least one more feeding before he goes to bed around 1:00am.  He is a HUGE help.

    Kerri

  • DH leaves before the younger 2 get up (but he takes the oldest-13-to school every day).  When he gets home he takes over most things for the 3 yo. while I take care of the baby.  It's DHs job to get the 3 yo to bed each night, which can sometimes be a chore.  Once he's alseep, DH is free to do whatever.  I EBF so he's not any help in the middle of the night anyway, so I don't ask him to get up. 
  • DH is on baby duty when he walks in the door, around 4pm.  I usually work 4-6.  From 6-6:45, we share taking care of her, at 6:45 we start her bed time routine.  I feed her, then he takes her and finishes and puts her to bed.  She's down between 7:15-7:30.  For night wakings, we used to have shifts.  He got her until 12/1, then I got her afterwards.  But now she's sttn again, I get up with her after 4, feed her, then put her back down. 

    It's all about communicating.  You work a full time job all day (just doesn't require leaving the house and your boss is a 10m old), it's okay to get help from your DH at night.

  • DH gets home anywhere from 4pm-6pm.  Then, I take off. 

    Sometimes, I go for a drive.  Sometimes, I soak in the tub.  Sometimes, I just go to my room and rest. 

    He does dinner, baths, etc. 

    He gets up at night with the little one.....mainly because, if I get up at 2am to feed her, I'm up for good (and I usually am anyway since I can't sleep through it most times, try as I might).  He can feed her and be asleep again within 30 seconds.  I don't work like that. 

    I really never asked, I just leave.  Everyone is fed, bathed, and alive, so I figured he does an OK job with it all!

  • I am with DD from when she gets up until DH gets home at around 6 pm (well, I let him get out of his monkey suit first).  It's about an hour and a half until she goes to bed.  He does her bedtime routine, I come in and read a story with them, then he puts her to bed.

    He does the first overnight wake up (if there are any; these days she sleeps through until morning).  If she wakes up more than once, I take the next one.  We exclusively FF now, so it works out well.  DH likes to spend the time with her.

    On the weekends, we share duties depending on what's going on; generally he does more of the childcare, and I do most of the housework stuff.

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  • My DH goes to work at 6:45 a.m. and gets home around 9:00 p.m. he also works from 7:30 - 4:00 on Saturdays. ?Mon.-Fri. he is in class from 4-9 so that is why he is so late. ?It really stinks because they changed his class schedule and starting next week he goes to class until 10:30 p.m. ?So, not only is DH never home to help and too tired when he is here, but I am usually asleep and don't even talk to him except when I call him during the day or on Sundays. ?After doing this for a year now, I am ready for a week long cruise somewhere with no kids!
    BFP #1: DS born 11/07 BFP #2: m/c @ 8w 5d d&c
  • He usually is home by 6:30.  He eats dinner and checks on his e-mail, etc. but VERY soon after he likes to take the baby.  He really misses him and spends the rest of the night just relaxing with the two of us.  Overnight, we take turns if the baby wakes up, unless he or I have to wake up really early in which case the other one has baby duty.  He is also really good about taking him for a few hours on the weekend while I go out with friends or just get some "me" time in.  It works out really well.
    Moved to Maple Valley, Washington January 2012
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  • um....NEVER. my DH comes home from work and I still do everything. apparently this isnt normal after reading all the other posts. He has never taken over and never gotten up at night not even once. he doesnt change diapers or do baths. hhhmm.....maybe we need to have a talk. ha ha :)

    I have just gotten use to the fact that its my job. I am the sahm and so i take care of kids.

    Baby #3 on its way!BabyFruit Ticker
  • DH leaves for work at 5 and gets home anywhere from 3 to 5. When he gets home, he'll play with the kids and keep then entertained while I finish dinner. After dinner he'll take DD for her bath and put her to bed while I clean up the kitchen. Then I give DS a bath and put him to bed. While I'm with DS, he'll pick up all the gazillion toys downstairs and unload the dishwasher or take out the garbage.

    I get up with the kids (they both rarely wake up anymore) Sunday-Thursday and he gets Friday and Saturday nights. He gets up with them in the mornings around 7:30 and I get to sleep in a bit....its still sleeping in for him as well! haha! ;)

    We each take care of the kids on the weekend although I make it a point to let him take over some things. DS has a real problem letting my husband do anything, all he wants is 'mommy.' so I think its good for them to get some time together.

    DH is so helpful and in comparison to some other husbands I know, it is easy for me to see what a gem I have! I couldn't do it without him...well, I could but I'd be WAY more stressed! ;)

  • DH works M-F 8-4 (until March on this schedule) so he's home by 4:30. I either go to work (I waitress 1-2 nights a week) or we're home together. DH is great with DS. He knows how stressful it is to be at home alone with him all day so he jumps right in; plays with him, feeds him dinner while I'm making dinner, gives him a bath, etc.

    It's such a BIG help!!

  • As soon as he takes off his coat and washes his hands, he tends to grab the baby.  Anything that the baby needs-- a bath, medicine, feeding, DH has it until midnight for another feeding.
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