What if DH doesn't want a book? (vent)

JCapp8306 · January 2009

Let me explain... ?I want DH to be more understanding to what I'm going through. ?The only section he read in WTEWE is when I'll most likely become super horny. ?If I ever mention any symptom he thinks I'm too involved on the bump and reacting to what I'm reading only. ?He doesn't want an expecting baby book for dads, he thinks a book for when the baby is here would be better. ?Which is great, but I'll be due in September, and he'll be deployed by November, so I'll have the entire 1st year without him. ?He also says (jokingly, but pushes my buttons) that my complaining is helping for baby #2... jerk.

Another reason I wanted to get him an expecting book is so when we call and tell his parents we can say something like, "I just got this new book 'blah expecting book for dads'"... ok vent over.

JCapp8306 · January 2009

sorry edit *it's my complaining isn't helping for baby #2.

mrsmel · January 2009

sounds like your husband as a lot of growing up to do.

you can't make him read anything. and to have it for fodder for a convo with his parents is a ridiculous reason. he has to want to be involved, to learn, etc.

Smandrea · January 2009

Maybe he just thinks it's boring. I know WTEWYE can be a little boring sometimes. Maybe you should buy him some books. I know my husband was interested in My Boys Can Swim and Caveman's Guide To Pregnancy or something like that because they looked funny.?

?You could also buy him How To Make A Pregnant Woman happy and then maybe he could take a hint!

?

Good luck!?

evhamm · January 2009

My husband has been really busy with work and doesn't want to do much other than watch tv and chill at night. So instead of books I occasionally slip in a video about pregnancy in... I got "Pregnancy for Dummies" from the library and it has been helpful in providing interest in him, and open dialogue when they say something on the movie that he didn't know about.

I think maybe your husband (not knowing him of course) is dealing with his own emotions of being away when you're home with the babe... so I wouldn't push him too much until he's ready to be interested. I know you need the support and that's where the bump boards have been helpful for me.

GL!

evhamm · January 2009

Smandrea:
Maybe he just thinks it's boring. I know WTEWYE can be a little boring sometimes. Maybe you should buy him some books. I know my husband was interested in My Boys Can Swim and Caveman's Guide To Pregnancy or something like that because they looked funny.
You could also buy him How To Make A Pregnant Woman happy and then maybe he could take a hint!

Good luck!

that Caveman's guide is hilarious! thanks for reminding me of it!

staycee · January 2009

My DH flat out told me he would not read a book. He told me to tell him what my book said each week. Just a summary.

Every week I send him the appropriate week link from this site: https://www.pregnancyguideonline.com/

Its a quick short page read of what is going on that week. With a tip for "dad" at the end.

JCapp8306 · January 2009

before more people think DH is super?insensitive, he isn't. ?He does listen to me when I read to him, and he makes me my tea when I'm feeling bad. ?I just pointed out the few things he's said to me thinking he's funny. ?He is?extremely?excited we are having a baby, and can't wait to tell his parents. ?I would just like a more creative way to inform them. ?I just wanted to vent and now sorry I did.

Jimsgirl5821 · January 2009

I didnt bother with a book because my husband is not a reader anyway. I read my books in front of him all the time and he will ask what is the baby doing this week and I will fill him in on stuff. It works a lot better for me this way b/c the book would just collect dust. This way I at least get a little information into him.

JCapp8306 · January 2009

thank you for your support.

MrsPreK · January 2009

staycee:
My DH flat out told me he would not read a book. He told me to tell him what my book said each week. Just a summary.

Every week I send him the appropriate week link from this site: https://www.pregnancyguideonline.com/

Its a quick short page read of what is going on that week. With a tip for "dad" at the end.

I think this is a good idea. DH and I talked about what week I was while pg with DS and we both don't like drawn out boring stuff. Just get right to the point.

Does he really need a book??

JasonsMauiMama · January 2009

I took all the woodworking magazines out of the bathroom and left WTEWE.

He read it. He had no choice.

Temp23782687501318 · January 2009

Does your DH read normally? My DH is not a reader by any stretch of the imagination. I read the books and then explain things to him. We have a ritual every Saturday morning. We lay in bed and I read the next week in WTEWYE. He enjoys hearing what is going on, but doesn't have to sit and read the book cover to cover himself.

Jimsgirl5821 · January 2009

I understand..my husband is pretty good about stuff too but I vented about him on here yesterday..sometimes you just need to

kiki4 · January 2009

the next time he says something that bothers you, maybe you should just try telling him, I realize you're kidding, but it bothers me when you say stuff like that...

JCapp8306 · January 2009

That's the thing... it takes him half a year to read a book?because?he is so busy with work. ?And usually when I hit a new week, I read what our baby is doing that week. ?So technically he doesn't NEED a book. ?So what when baby is born book for dad is good? ?Since that's what he wants.

MissBlush · January 2009

DH isn't a reader, so during my last pregnancy I'd read him a weekly excerpt from Your Pregnancy Week By Week. ?He actually really liked it.

You might also try getting him to look at this website, if he isn't into books:

www.thefunkystork.com

It's specifically for dads and written in man-speak. ?DH thought it was really funny. ??

MrsBro6116 · January 2009

DH does not read at all, and growing up had a hard time reading.. He is very intimidated by the WTEWYE book, which I can understand..

I bought him My Boys Can Swim and placed it in the magazine rack in the bathroom. I noticed a few pages have been creased so that worked for him. I didn't even tell him that I bought it, just placed it there. Every so often he'll say something like "oh are you craving that?" or "heartburn is very common in pregnancy people say".

Every DH is different.

suscq · January 2009

JasonsMauiMama:

I took all the woodworking magazines out of the bathroom and left WTEWE.

He read it. He had no choice.

I love it!! I may have to try that. DH is a paramedic and did an OB rotation 15 years ago in school and figures he knows the important stuff. They taught him that "If everything was going good, just make sure you don't drop the baby cause it's slippery. If it's going bad, you can't do anything except drive like hell to the hospital." Surprise

borc0080 · January 2009

My DH is a reader, so the book thing wasn't an issue (though I did get a man-specific one for him). I can empathize with the hyper-awareness of symptoms, though. I worry about every little twinge, which is so hard for DH to relate to since his physical invovlement in the pregnancy has been over for some time now! I told DH how frustrating this is for me and he's been as understanding as he can. It also helps to talk to my best girlfriend, who's a mom of 3.

DanielsWife · January 2009

I only asked him 2x, and I dropped it after that. ?Here's the thing, though, my DH is a closet reader when it comes to medical stuff. ?When we started dating (after being friends for 2 years, so the next part isn't creepy), he read up, on his own, all he could about PCOS and endometriosis, just so he could be prepared for anything and everything, including the possible infertility. ?So, it didn't surprise me that he already has a "heads up" on what I'm expecting for each week of the baby's development. ?So, maybe if DH doesn't want a book it doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't want to know. ?

PurpleK26 · January 2009

I feel your pain... my DH doesn't want to read any of the baby books and thinks that the Bump is just stupid. I don't think he really thinks that anymore... after we had a scare last week and only Bump Mom's could calm me down.

My DH does read, but has no interest in the baby books... I think he's afraid of what he might read about! He does look at the little e-mail update that I get from the bump to see how the baby is growing and stuff, but just leaves it up to me to tell him how I'm feeling!

Maybe if you write him a 'letter' each week, put in some sweet talk and then summarize what you've learned this week in your books and how you're feeling etc. You could even make if from the baby... This week I've given mommy a new symptom.... I have fingers now and a little hair etc... It's not as intimidating as reading a whole book, but at least he'll know what you want him too know!!!

Want a personalized experience?

What if DH doesn't want a book? (vent)

Re: What if DH doesn't want a book? (vent)

Choose Another Board

Search Boards