How long is a baby this demanding?

SeaSoul · January 2009

I'm still learning the ropes as a mom and am having a really tough time. I adore DS but the complete lack of freedom - particularly now that DH is back at work - is almost more than I can handle. I should say I am BFing, so the demand is high. This is not a task DH & I can share, though I know he would if he could! DH has a commitment tonight (he normally cooks) and i managed to get part of a dinner made but had to stop to nurse and now DS is asleep in my lap and I don't dare disturb him because I'm afraid he'll wake up & have a fussy spell (this has been a trend lately). Meanwhile, I'm starving. And that's just my basic needs...I still have a list a mile long of things I'd like to accomplish, which I made when we first got home from the hospital over a month ago (i.e. update my blog, print photos for the great-grandmothers, etc.).

Friends have been telling me for years what a great mother I'll be, and I think I am. But maybe I am a selfish one, too, because all I can think about is what I wish I could be doing.

So, when does the demand decrease? Or does it? I imagine it does feeding-wise but by then they are more interactive and that's extremely important time-spent as a parent too. *sigh* Sorry, i'm just overwhelmed, guilty, and feeling like no one else can relate.

CreatingMiracles · January 2009

Things will turn around between 3 and 4 months. ?When you start getting that interaction back - that is when you'll fall in love.

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sarahwings · January 2009

At 3 months everything got SO much easier for me. I EBF too, but at 3 months he started to play on his own or at least be on a blanket and look at things while I washed dishes etc.

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Now at 5 months much much easier.?

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MrsJuneHawk · January 2009

While it does get easier in some aspects, it doesn't change in others. My baby is 5 months old and I still can't do anything around the house because he wants to be entertained and/or held all the time when he's awake and he takes minuscule naps. I've come to terms with a messy house and nightly take out.

LynnInLove1007 · January 2009

My son started getting a LOT better at about 3 months. I felt the exact same way as you. You're a great mother. But being a mother just takes a LOT out of you.

Try pumping to get a little freedom.

AndysKandi · January 2009

You're doing a great job and it is normal to wonder "When will this get better/easier?" I know you can't help how you feel, but come on...of course you're not the first mother in the world to struggle with these things. Don't feel guilty! It really does get better. Yes, as they grow, different things demand different levels of attention. It is never "easy"... but you just adjust. And like the PP said, once you can do more interacting it really gets fun. It makes all of the hardships totally worth it. My DD #2 (4 months) is currently starting to really laugh often in response to things we do, and it is such a fun stage! And cute, to listen to a little baby laugh like that. My 1st DD is almost 2, and her language skills are exploding. She is starting to say really funny things/develop a great sense of humor, and is able to actually have somewhat of a conversation (using single words and short phrases, but still). So like I said - along the way, the hardships you experience at different stages are worth it to experience all the fun times!

Mrs.BLG · January 2009

It didn't get better for me until around 4 months.

We've all been where you are. There were many days where I didn't get to eat lunch...and ppl wondered how I lost the baby weight! I always looked forward to DH coming home from work! If I didn't have supper made by the time he got home, we just ate a little later than usual.

CrazeyJaneyR · January 2009

You are NOT alone!! I can totally relate!! ?(((hugs))) It does get better!!

star173 · January 2009

I know its tough right now, and I can't tell you how many times I was so hungry or about to pee on myself. it will get better. in the meantime, enjoy this time because you'll never get it back. Don't worry about your blog or anything right now...all that can wait. Just try to meet your demanding little one's needs and cherish every moment...it will be gone before you know it. Good luck!

CCinLove · January 2009

I understand where you're coming from completely! I have the same problem, and it has brought me to tears several times this week. I can't get an hour to myself most days. I can't go anywhere without DS. I can't go anywhere with him, because he cries all the time. I can't get anything done because he wants to eat all the time. I'm ready to go back to work, and that makes me feel incredibly guilty. I think being able to leave DS at home with DH or my in laws would help me, but I'm EBFing and can't build up a freezer stash because DS wants to eat all the time. DH is completely opposed to giving the baby formula, even once a week. Sorry, I don't have any advice, but you aren't alone.

Mjmksb04 · January 2009

I think things will get better for you in the next few weeks, when your child starts smiling at you, laughing, recognizing your voice. I had a tough, tough time the first few weeks but it seemed like every week things got a bit better and now we have a little bit or normal. I FF, so I don't know what its like to BF, but I know once my DS started sleeping better, things got a lot better because I didn't have to nap only when he napped and could actually get things done around the house. Can you pump at all so that your DH can help feed your baby and you can have some "you" time?

Echowysp · January 2009

It gets better around 2-3 months. Don't feel bad, we all go through it. I was so stressed out about ds's fussiness that I would cry. I felt terrible because I resented having to do so much work for someone how didn't seem to care about me. Now ds hardly ever fusses and when he does, I can usually tell what he needs. Life is much, much better!

I'd suggest getting a baby carrier, something that will allow you to hold ds and still get stuff done. That was a lifesaver for me.

Hang in there!

SeaSoul · January 2009

Thank you so much, ladies...it helps to hear that others have been through it. I knew you had to be out there, but my own friends have never shared these kinds of frustrations to this extent - yes, they have said it's tiring & hard, but not to the level that I seem to be feeling it. I mean, I am just not liking it a lot of the time and have never really heard any of my friends say that!

mdlw07 · January 2009

When you are BFing the first couple of months are hard. You are pretty much tied to your baby, unless you can pump. If you can pump good (I'm a bad pumper), you can have other people feed the baby. This will free up a little bit of time for you to do some other things. My best advice is just take it one day at a time. Try to accomplish a couple of things on your list each day. It will get easier, just enjoy the time with your DS. They grow so fast and change so much each day, week and month!

stressdbride2b · January 2009

I know exactly what you mean!!! I felt the same way when i got home from the hospital there was so much for me to do. And the demands from dear daughter were so high i couldn't get anything done. I felt like after i prepared bottles and did laundry (cloth diapers) i barely had time to brush my teeth once a day. All I could think of was everything I needed to do and couldn't. It drove me nuts. to help me get through it I would tell myself maybe I got nothing done today but i did get one more day of DD's happy and healthy life. I felt like the time i did have when she slept I was running in circles not sure what to do first. Then as soon as i got into something she'd wake and demand my attention. But then she started sleeping longer periods and I got caught up more and more. I even began to eat more than once a day Wink

Then she started sleeping about 4 hours at a time around 6-7 weeks and i'm caught up and kind of in a routine now. I even have been brushing my teeth and showering daily.. Big Smile

so hang in there. I should mention I am formula feeding so it's a bit less demanding but i know you'll get in your groove soon enough, even though it doesn't seem so.

By the way one day i did pee myself in bed holding DD because as you said i dare not move, thinking DH would be home any minute to assist he was an hour late. I look back to even 2 weeks ago and can't believe how far we've come. The first months are overwhelming.

jamie_lee · January 2009

I totally agree with you. I can'twait for that 3 month mark when everyone says things get better. An added bonus, my baby has colic. : (.

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