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Adoption
mandyclaire579
member
I hope this isn't weird....
mandyclaire579
member
in Adoption
I have a three month old baby boy. I have always wanted to adopt, but DH isn't completely on board. I get it, he feels that it is less expensive to have another biological baby in the future. I loved being pregnant, but know there are soooo many babies out there that need parents and I would love to give them a little love, you know?
How much does the average, in-country adoption cost?
Has anyone adopted from the state of Texas?
Thanks so much! I know my baby is young, but it sounds like you need to start the process pretty far in advance.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I hope this isn't weird....
I don't think there's an "average" - you're going to get a variety of answers depending on the type of adoption.
County/State adoptions - practically free
Private, independent adoptions - $2500-5000 in legal fees (depending on how complicated the adoption is, could be more), plus any expenses for the mother's/baby's medical care, living expenses, maternity clothes, etc. as allowable under state law (where I'm from, and under my state laws of what is allowed, most adoptions my lawyer does range about $10-12k)
Agency adoptions and Facilitated adoptions - the most expensive - placement and agency fees for white infants easily range $25-30k + legal fees, minority infants are usually $15-20k
There are always differences, I'm just making very broad generalizations.
I was looking at doing an interstate adoption where the mother was in Texas (unfortunately, it fell through), and it is a fairly friendly adoption state. Relinquishments can't be signed until 48 hours post-birth, but there is an irrevocable relinquishment and then the baby has to be with you for 60 days before you can file and then 6 months before finalization.
Is having a biological baby cheaper? Probably. Some of us here are infertile, some aren't. None of us are here b/c it's the cost effective way of having a family that's for sure.
Are you considering foster adopt or traditional domestic adoption?
Honestly there aren't that many domestic infants in need of adoption unless you're open to any race and/or certain issues (maternal drug/alcohol use, mental illness, etc.) and even then there are typically more potential adoptive parents than infants being placed. It is very expensive, plan on at least $20,000 minimum.
Foster adopt is fairly inexpensive depending on the location but again there aren't many infants in need of adoption and it would likely be a long wait before an infant that was available for adoption would be placed w/ you. Usually foster adopt children are older.
I don't want to keep you from pursuing this but it might help if you did some more research. Especially if your DH isn't 100% on board I'd think about this a lot more and really look into the realities of adopting before taking this journey.
I think the above poster is pretty accurate.
We are doing adoption through the foster care system in our state and it is free.
Well, we did have to pay for our physicals - but that only cost $200.
The costs are so so variable - based on state, based on the type, based on race of child, etc
Good luck to you
My Blog
I agree with the PP.
There are so many children in the foster/state system that need loving homes and as PP stated the fees are nominal. I hope in the future to become a foster mom.
Newborn/baby adoptions are a bit more tricky. There is a great need for families to adopt miniority newborns/children especially african american or biracial children and the fees and wait time are greatly reduced. For example, our agency waived all of their fees (about 7k) because we are adopting a child of color but our average will still be between 10-15k for medical, legal, psychological expenses for the BM. The wait time for matching is very quickly, recently adoptive families have been matched even same day as going active and are all generally parents within a few months.
With our agency the fees for a white newborn are generally 25,000 up to 50,000. White newborns are in demand, not surplus (I hate using those terms but the reality is that there are more people who want a healthy, white newborn than there are healthy, white newborns) and thus the fees are more and the wait time can be upwards of a few years.
If you truly are wanting to adopt because you want to give a child who needs a loving family a home then I think foster-adopt or non-white newborn adoption is a great path. But everyone has to pick a path that is right for them and their family.
Best of luck on your journey and congratulations on your baby.
Thank you! I feel I would be totally happy with a bi-racial/minority baby. This is something I have thought about for a long time but just got into it lately.
Thank you guys so much and please continue to answer my questions if you read this!
You're welcome. Enjoy your time with your newborn and when the time is right maybe you and your DH can attend some informational sessions that agencies tend to put on.
You don't have to sign with an agency to attend one of their informational sessions (though keep in mind that the information they provide will be geared to how they operate). There are various support networks and groups for pre-adoptive families almost every where you just have to find them. And of course there are lots and lots of books with great information about adoption and what it means to have a transracial family. With knowledge and a secure feeling with your current newborn perhaps your DH will come around to your desires of adoption.
Take care
So were you trying to adopt these two babies? I don't know all of the terms...
so I don't know exactly how everything would work. I'm guessing most of the infants one would have placed with them in-state would be children removed from "unfit" homes??
I think what people meant was that there are more people waiting for a healthy, white newborn and because of that they are hard to 'come by' though I understand that with patience it can happen through foster-adopt programs
one was a healthy white newborn (2 weeks old), sadly she is back in care due to the failure to have a good caseworker.
the second we took because they wanted an adoption motivated home. 10 months later we had to send her and her brother off to live with their aunt, sadly. but we receive pictures of them on a weekly basis.
in-state children are most likely removed from unfit homes due to a number of reasons. our second baby we got straight from the hospital, but we are willing to take drug exposed babies. as others have said - adoptions from the state are much cheaper. i wouldn't say they are "free" because you do have to pay for your lawyer, the processing stuff for the adoption, but it's not 15-30K that would pay through an agency for a newborn infant. And adoptions through the state aren't always the easiest for people that just want to adopt. Most of the time if the children come up for adoption, the foster parents get first option if they are dual-licensed. So if the foster family gets a baby at birth, rights of the parents are terminated, chances are they will probably adopt the baby. that's really why sometimes they are hard to come by in the aspect of just adopting from the state and not also being a foster parent.
one was a healthy white newborn (2 weeks old), sadly she is back in care due to the failure to have a good caseworker.
That is sad. I don't think, for our first child and newborn experience, that I could emotionally go through the roller coast of having babies placed with us to only have them taken away. I think this is why for newborns/infants a lot of people still choose international or domestic private adoption. It's good that you are there for them, I wish you well!
I agree with all the pp's. We are doing domestic infant. Originally we were thinking it would cost us 25k. We are now thinking that all-in we will end up between 40-45k. That includes our consulting fees, homestudy, everything. It could end up cheaper, but that is what we are preparing for.?
As far as cases we have seen they have been split down the middle, 1/2 full caucasian and 1/2 bi-racial. The bi-racial adoptions can be significantly less but some we have seen are still in that high range I quoted. It really depends on the state, agency and situation.
I will say that this process has been difficult. Not just financially, but emotionally, for us. If we weren't 150% devoted to it, I'm not sure that we could do it. We've been really open with our co-workers, family and friends about our journey and ups and down in the hope that we can better educate them in the realities of adoption. It's amazing the misconceptions that many of them have had. Everything from thinking that adoption takes years no matter what (we made the decision to adopt on Nov. 1st and could potentially have our child in February or March) to not realizing that you don't just 'sign up' to adopt and get a child given to you because you are good people.
Good luck with all the exciting decisions and your baby is adorable. ?
First of all, your baby is beautiful!! We adopted through Texas, but we live in Georgia. We didn't have much of a wait although we did have one failed match (not with Texas). We loved our adoption agency. We were a instant placement (the baby was already born and the Birth parents had already signed the termination of Parental rights). It did cost us a flat fee of $40,000. This is on the expensive side and you can adopt for much cheaper, but this was this agency's fees and I think a little had to do with the baby being born already and not having to wait.
Ben is also mixed race (CC, AA, Hispanic). We were open to this and maybe that's why is was faster for us.
I hope you have a piece about what your going to do in the future.
GL!
IVF #1 1/10-transfered 2 blasts- DS born 10/2010
March 2015- Chemical pg
1/25/16- BFP Beta1 12dpo = 17, Beta 2 14 dpo = 28.. resulted in one beautiful boy born 9/21/16
Now I'm a stay at home loving life and pursuing my love of photography!!!
We're in Texas.
We went the facilitator route, it was the best for us. Our son was born out of state (IN), but we finalized here in TX. Each county is a bit different in some of their requirements (especially about post placement visits).
Two friends of mine went the foster to adopt route. One couple adopted a caucasian newborn (he was three days old), another wanted a little older so they adopted a three and four year old caucasian sibling set. Neither set of children had any drug or health issues. While there are not as many babies and newborns in the foster to adopt system, there are some. Both of my friends were matched up with newborns (though the one passed because she wanted older). And my friend that adopted the newborn has a coworker who also foster to adopted a newborn (hispanic, she's hispanic as well). So it is possible.
If you want to email me (mikeandlizadopt @ yahoo.com ) I'll be happy to pass on an agency in San Antonio. We looked at them, and might have used them but we went another route instead. They frequently have hispanic and caucasian/hispanic newborns, and are excellent in the treatment of the birthfamilies.
We loved working with our facilitator as well. They are based in California but work with families all over the country. I was very impressed with how they work with all sides of the adoption triad.
I can also put you in touch with my friends who went through the foster to adopt process if you want.
The most important thing is to make sure that you and your DH are on the same page -that's crucial.
good luck!