Working Moms

Tired mommy here...

For those moms who work fulltime, have a clean house and have time to make dinner...how do u do it?  I work full time and after i pick up DS and get settled i don't have much time nor energy to put together a decent meal.  My house is no longer as clean as it was before DS and my laundry room is not a place i visit as often.  It stresses me out that i can't handle all this.  Luckily my DH helps around the house and with DS but still there's not enough time in the day for everything.

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Re: Tired mommy here...

  • i figure life's just too short to worry about cleaning your house. do what you can do when you have time.. otherwise just focus on your family & career. :)
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  • Well, I make really easy dinners.  I don't care if my house isn't perfectly clean either.  My new strategy is to power through a ton of stuff after the kids are in bed so that I have more of my weekend free.  DH is also super helpful, too. 
  • I just wanted to crearte the same topic.... I also work full time, and I am so tired, that I can barely remember what my name is...

    Meal planning works for me.... Internet grocery shopping sounds tempting... Writing SHORT to-do lists while I am in the tram....

    Sorry, not very helpful. I really hope you'll get some nice tips, so I could use them as well.

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  • I'm in the same boat - we are beginning to use our crockpot a lot and make something on Sunday evening that we can eat again during the week.  My "fast/easy" dinners are taco salads, throwing a pork lion in the oven and any type of chicken dish that I can dump in pyrex pan and put it in the oven.

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  • I know what you mean. I am a neat freak and before DS was born, I would clean the house every weekend. I am at the point now where if I have time to clean then I do it otherwise, I just try to keep the house as clean as I can. It's very hard to see dirt and laundry piled up but it gets done eventually and I figure my house will probably be like this for a while so I have to kind of accept it.
  • First, give up on keeping your house spotless.  It's just not giong to happen.  DH is a total neat freak, and sometimes gets annoyed about the house being a mess, and I just tell him he can either have a SAHW with a clean house or a working wife with a semi-clean house.  He chooses the working wife every time. 

    Second, if you can in any way find it in your budget, hire a housekeeper.  Seriously, that makes a huge difference.  I used to have one that did laundry, which was awesome when DS was an infant.

    Third, make some dinners and freeze them.  We always have a ton of meatballs and chili in the freezer for easy dinner nights.  We also get bagged spinach and bagged salads for nights when we just want to throw and easy salad together.  When I do cook, I usually cook for two nights worth of meals.

    I also modified my work schedule a little so I come in early and leave at 4.  This means more time in the evenings with DS because I am home earlier, but also my commute takes less time because I'm not in the 5 o'clock rush anymore.

    I run errands on my lunch break, which frees up some time on the weekends.  I considered grocery delivery when DS was younger, but never did it, but that would definitely free up some time too.

    Look at how you are spending your time at home and at work - if there is anything you can do more efficiently to save yourself some time, then do it.

    If there's anything I've learned from being a WOHM, it's how to be a great multi-tasker and juggle a few balls at once.  I also have little tricks for picking up.  Like I use those reusable grocery bags for picking things up downstairs that need to go upstairs.  I just accumulate things in the bag during the evening when I am running around the house with DS.  When we go up to get him ready for bed, the bag comes with me.

    I'm not saying I am never tired - today I am exhausted because I was up with DS half the night after working a 14-hour day yesterday.  But it does get a lot better once you learn to look at the big picture, enjoy your working life and your time with your child, and not obsess over the clutter and crumbs on the floor.

     

  • Well, getting a cleaning lady twice a month helped me tremendously.  I try to do a little cleaning in the in-between weeks, but if i don't get to it, so be it.  I also try to make a couple of meals on the weekends that I can cut in half, eat some during the week and freeze the rest for the following week.  I try to do laundry at night after DS goes to bed.  It is hard.  I now work four days a week, which has helped balance out my life in a major way.
  • Some co-workers told me that  once you are a working mom you will ALWAYS be tired.  But, you can avoid exhaustion and chaos by building routines for yourself.

    We have cleaning ladies who come every two weeks.  It's hard enough for me to deal with clutter and general picking up - there is no way I could keep up with cleaning this house as well.

    We cook every other night. DH gets home before me so he gets dinner started while I am picking the boys up from day care.  That helps a ton b/c dinner is usually ready when we walk in the door.  Then on Tuesday we eat leftovers from the night before.  I love that we cook twice during the week then order pizza on Fridays.  Weekend meals depend on what we are doing and where we are but we tend to eat out or order in.  When the boys were smaller I would grocery shop in the evening after they went to bed but now that they are older we normally make a family trip to the store on Sundays.  The boys like to go "chopping" and there is so much for them to see in the grocery store.  Who knew going to the store could be so exciting?  Wink

    DH and I both do bath time and bed time (but we have two).  DH usually bathes them while I put away the boys' laundry, get out their PJ's and lay out their clothes for the next day.

    I leave dishes, cleaning up the kitchen and packing the diaper bag for the next day until after the boys are in bed.  I do laundry, check my email, pack my lunch and other random stuff then too.  I want as much time as possible with my boys and don't want to waste it doing "chores" that can wait.

    You will find a system and a rhythm that works for you.  Just remember to do as much ahead of time as you possibly can.

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  • There's some good tips here.  Honestly, I think if you're trying to keep your house as clean as it was before you had a baby, you're setting yourself up for failure.  You are dead on that there are not enough hours in the day.

    A cleaning lady is a great idea if you can afford it, even every couple of weeks.  DH and I have divvied up chores, and do a lot of tag team.  He watches the baby while I make dinner, I watch the baby while he cleans up, etc.  I try to spend a few minutes just picking stuff up while DH gives the baby a bath.  Our house is far from spotless, but it's liveable.

    As far as food, plan ahead.  I love the crockpot (lots of recipes on the internet).  I make casseroles that we can eat for 2 nights.  Once in a while, on the weekend, I'll make either a couple of casseroles or some soup/chili and freeze it for quick weeknight meals.  I also have a couple of "go-to" meals that I generally have ingredients for--pasta, tacos, omelettes.  We sometimes get frozen food from omaha steaks and throw steaks on the george foreman and put their potatoes in the microwave for a quick and delicious meal.

    Can you get groceries delivered?  We used to get peapod when I lived in DC and it was awesome.  For $5, you save yourself an hour of hassle at the store.

    I think the best advice is to choose what really matters, focus on that, and let the rest go.  I'd rather spend time with my kid than have a clean house, and we don't do a lot of socializing anymore because we'd rather relax together at home.

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  • Many good recommendations here, I will repeat some and add a few more...

     1. Plan meals ahead on weekends and then grocery shop.  This was you know for sure you have the right things on hand.  Before #1, we would often be running to the store last minute, but with just us and no kids, we had the time and energy. 

    2. Cook 1/time eat 2 or 3 times. When you do cook, make sure to make enough so you can eat left overs another night OR use what you cooked to turn it into something else.  A good example is slow cooking a whole chicken. The first night we eat the chicken with sides.  The next we do chicken soft tacos with rise and beans and the 3rd we do chicken nachos, using left over beans and rice.

    3. Learn to love your crock pot! Being able to throw together raw ingredients in the monring and have an entree ready at the end of the day makes life SO much easier.  I recommend checking out allrecipes.com and searching for 'slow cooker" to view a variety of recipes.

    4. Try to get in the habbit of picking up after yourself right after the fact.  I'm the first to tell you it's easy to just put dishes in the sink or throw clothes on the floor, but taking the extra 30 seconds to take care of something in the momement will help tame the clutter.  This is something I STILL have to remind DH about ;-)

    5. Re-prioritze.  Figure out what is most important to you and focus on that. You will not have the free time you did before kids, so you need to be selective about where you do spend your time.

    6. Get rid of the bath every night routine!!  This is a biggie.  Babies and most toddlers RARELY get dirty enough to require a bath every day, besides the fact it dries out their skin.  I would also say that once you have more than 1 and they have to be bathed separately, this is even more important.  You CAN create a wonderful bedtime routine that doesn't include this as a nightly ritual.

  • I have a cleaning person come in once a month so all I need to do is keep it up which makes it a lot easier.  DH and I take turns cooking and we prep as much as we can the night before.  We do laundry on weekends or do a load a night, depending on how the week is going.  My 2 1/2 year old loves to help with the sorting of clothes.  I do work from home once a week which is great since I can typically do some laundry while I'm home and do some other little things around the house while I'm working.  We also order groceries online and they get delivered once a week.  I try to run as many errands as I can over my lunch.  My DH also helps a ton.  We make sure we have everything done the night before for the next day.  It does get easier as the kids get older.  My 2 1/2 year old loves to do dishes right now so after dinner, she helps us rinse the dishes for the dishwasher while one of us plays with the baby and we still get some good quality time with both girls.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
  • My house is not clean and I have accepted that. I do what I can and focus on keeping things presentable and somewhat clean in the areas my children are in the most, but otherwise, I try not to stress about it. Would I rather remember spending quality time with my children at this age, or remember a perfectly clean house, I chose the first. That's the way I try to look at things.

    With laundry, we have to have clean clothes, so that is at the top of my "to do" list. I have found a system where I make sure that I do a load of laundry every other day (I have two kids, hence the large amount of laundry), I can keep up with it. No putting it off, as if I do, we don't have clean clothes to wear and I get behind, which is totally stressful. Now, is it all folded and/or hung up were it needs to be? Nope, but at least it's clean.

  • Eh, my house is a mess and we eat a lot of stuff from Costco that's already prepared.  DD only gets a bath every other night.  I never buy or wear clothes that need to be ironed or dry cleaned.  Oh, and I never work out anymore.  And we only say yes to social obligations we're really excited about.  I'm still tired but it could be much worse!
  • All of the chores are done on the weekend.  I clean one bathroom one week and the other bathroom another week.  I TRY to vacuum and mop the tile/wood every week, but if I can not get to it, every other week.  My husband is in charge of laundry, but I still have to put the girls' clothes and mine away (only because I'm anal and I like it very organized).

    During the week, we recently started a cantina, but I use to cook as soon as I got home at 6 p.m. while he helped SD with her homework and DD would mimic me with her play kitchen.  We would eat around 7 p.m. the latest then the girls took their baths/shower and were in bed by 8 p.m.

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    SD was born on 06/06/01 and DD was born on 08/11/06
  • The money I spend on a house-cleaner is the best money I've ever spent. And Trader Joe's frozen meals, like the pasta meals in a bag, are a god-send.
  • I am trying to deal with this right now. I have a bit of OCD and I feel like things are falling apart when my house isn't clean, laundry isn't done, etc. I am really trying to work on letting things go. I would love a cleaning lady, but not in the budget for us right now. I work full time at night and Dh works rotating shifts during the day so I am home with the kids all day. I prepare meals that can feed us for a few days and bath time is usually every other day unless they really need it or DD goes to preschool that day. And bathtime is when I get to it, not necessarily in the evening. Our bedtime routine has not suffered from it and it puts less rush on the evening time. I am tired, exhausted is actually the correct word but I am telling myself that babies grow up too quick and I need to chill out and spend time with them. The house will have to wait. It is just hard because right now, our home is on the market and I want it clean in case someone wants to view it.
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