Success after IF

i miss my mom

i'll start by saying that ronnie is definitely still sick...i just sucked a TON of snot out of him, and i worry that he might have an ear infection, im gonna take him in tomorrow..

i did get him down at about 8 tonight, which is so much better..but he woke up at 9, after the excruciating event of sucking snot, i took him into the guest room, and with the lights out i played him this lullaby cd i made for them when they were first born..i just kinda danced around with him, and he really calmed down..then the song somewhere over the rainbow, the IZ version (the hawaiian one) came on..my mom loved that song, one of the last times i was visiting her before she got really sick, we listened to that song, and she sang along..i will never forget the sound of her voice with that song. so of course i started crying..

i was crying because i miss her, crying because my little boy is still sick, and i have been so blind with frustration, that i missed it, crying because she will never meet them, and she would have LOVED them so much, and loved their personalities, i will never see her smile at them, and never see them smile at her.?

ugh, sorry this is depressing, thanks for listening ?

Ron and Nora married 6.3.06 21 cycles, 1 m/c, 4 rounds clomid, 1 round gonal f and 3 IUI anovulatory cycles, LPD
Joey, Ronnie, and Audrey,
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Re: i miss my mom

  • ((HUGS))  Its not fair, I'm so sorry.  Your being a great mom, just remember that!
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  • OMG Nora!!! I want to jump through this damn screen and HUG you!!!!!!!! I am in tears right now.

    Can I just tell you something... with your mom being gone I think you realize way more than any of us how precious your time with your boys is. You know to look at them daily and just take it in what they look like,, smell like and sound like.

    Your mom would be soooo proud of you that you are a mommy to 2 BEAUTIFUL fun loving special boys.

    You are their mom and someday they will think about you with the same amount of love that you do your mom!! How cool is that?

     

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    Married 8.13.2005, M/C 12/8/06- 5 weeks, M/C 2/27/07- 7 weeks, M/C w/ D&C 8/10/09-6.5 weeks *Charles Lawrence born 5/2/08 @ 3:14am, 7lb 8oz, 20.5 inches. Clomid, Crinone and baby aspirin. *Alexandra Claire born 9/14/10 @ 9:52am 6lb 14oz, 20.5 inches. Femara, Crinone and baby aspirin. Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
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  • Sending you lots of hugs and good thoughts.  I am so sorry that you lost your mom.
    DX: PCOS * Success with IVF

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  • I'm so sorry. Just reading your post made me tear up. I love that song. It's so unfair that you have and the boys don't have her here anymore. (((HUGS)))
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  • (((HUGS)))

    I am sorry...

    Dx: PCOS/Amenorrhea/Anovulatory/lining problems. Clomid = BFN's. Lots of cancelled cycles due to thin lining or cysts. IUI#1= Follistim, estrace and endometrin = BFN IUI#2= Repronex, follistim, viagra suppositories and endometrin= BFN. IUI#3= Repronex, follistim, viagra suppositories, femtrace and endometrin= BFP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Isabella born in June via C-section!!!!! She is so incredible! Went back to RE to TTC#2 and got a WONDERFUL surprise!! Baby #2 on their way!! My Beautiful son Liam born Feb, 2011!! Lilypie image Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I feel the same way about my dad. I miss him so much and I KNOW he would love to be here enjoying DD. Big hugs to you! I know how difficult this is.
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  • Oh sweetie - your post made me cry.  It is so unfair that you had to lose your mom.  I'm sure she's looking over you now with your boys.  You're going through such a tough time lately and it makes perfect sense that you're missing your mom more than ever.   I wish I could come over and hug you and do whatever I could to help. 
  • I'm so sorry.  I know just how you feel.  One of my greatest regrets is that my children will never know my mother.

    What makes it worse is that my sister's kids grew up knowing my mother, were taught by her, watched over by her, loved by her and they knew her as a beautiful, loving, fun person ... not just as a picture in a frame.  And I'm so envious of them for having the time with her that my own children will never have.  At least we have good memories to pass along, right?  Many hugs.

  • I wish I could hug you.  I'm so so sorry :( ((((Hugs))))

    twin girls after 43 months of TTC.. Katherine Emily (5 lbs 12 oz 19 1/4 in) and Karly Elizabeth (5lbs 7 oz 19 in) imageLilypie!!My bio!! !!My Blog!! imageimage

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  • I am so sorry for your loss.  I can't imagine what you're going through, and I wish I could say something to make you feel better.  (((Hugs)))
    Married - 7/29/06
    Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09 
    Mia - 6/16/11
    Surprise! due 2/23/17


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  • Oh honey, I'm just in tears for you.  I'm sorry that Ronnie is still sick and you are missing your mom.  She must have been an amazing woman...she definitely taught you well...you're such a great mom!  Sending you big [[[HUGS]]]....

    p.s. the IZ version of "somewhere over the rainbow" always brings me to tears...and I used it in my wedding.

  • sweet nora, i am so sorry you're missing your mom. i wish i could give you a big hug. you have been through the ringer lately. i hope ronnie is all better soon.
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  • I understand. Not having a parent is hard, especially a mom. My dad will be gone 5 years this fall and I cry everytime I hear the beach boys. Your last paragraph made me cry the hardest. I am so sorry you are dealing with those emotions while your little one is sick. hugs to yoiu
  • I am so sorry :::hugs::::
  • Nora, I am in tears! Your post is so beautifully said. I agree that there is something about Mommyhood that you will know in such a different way. Boy your mom would be AMAZED at those precious boys and what a incredible Mommy you are. She is part of them always.

    Crista

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