3rd Trimester

How close are you ladies to your MIL?

I don't have problems with mine, but really wish she was more involved with DH and his kids. I would like to have a good relationship with her, or any relationship at all for that matter. Only time she calls us, is to ask us about something we can do for her other children. She and DH have never been really close, but am I selfish for wanting a relationship with her?
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Re: How close are you ladies to your MIL?

  • let sleeping dogs lie.

    i love my step mother in law, but we are far away and that makes things even better, lol. exhubs mom is good too, but she is pretty self involved (like exhubs) so she doesnt call a lot. both have always been nice to me and i love them both.

    in fact (to up the "trash" factor) my step mil told me a couple of months ago that this baby will be just as much a grandchild to them as abby and mikey are. I love her.

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  • We live in the same town as my ILs.

    I get along better with my MIL than I do with my own mother.

  • I adore my future MIL (in 27 days lol). She is a bit anal--she likes to leave notes everywhere for everything, but its kind of endearing at this point because she's sooooo organized and her and my mom have done a fantastic job keeping me level headed while the baby, house, and wedding have threatened my sanity.

    But she's great, and its so cute how excited she is about her first grandchild--in fact she's the only reason we're having a baby shower (I wasn't necessarily going to have one since I had one for DD). She is so excited about planning it that I had to let her Big Smile

  • imagerease.:

    in fact (to up the "trash" factor) my step mil told me a couple of months ago that this baby will be just as much a grandchild to them as abby and mikey are. I love her.

    That is the sweet of her. My MIL didn't think DH should have taken our youngest into our home. It took her several months to warm up to the idea, only after she saw the rest of the family accepting her.

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  • ugh not close at all. they only live an hour away, but the only time she calls is to ask us to pick something up for her here in town, or to tell us one of FI's nephews is in the hospital, again(SIL is a wacko and takes the kids to ER everytime they have a runny nose). she's annoying and overdramatic and somehow the convo always turns to her and her many alliments. i know it's selfish, but as long as baby has a good relationship with my parents i really dont mind that we're not close.
  • My MIL and I have a good relationship. Though sometimes she's borderline creepy when it comes to MY pregnancy. shhh don't tell DH I said that, he might get upset haha
  • you aren't selfish. I felt the same way when DH and I first married.

    But I have to respect DH and his relationship with his mother. I can't MAKE them be friends and I can't MAKE them have the kind of relationship I would want to have. DH doesn't force me to interact with my family more than I want to, so I have to be the same kind of person in return.

    MIL would LOVE LOVE LOVE to have a bigger role in our lives. But again, I leave it up to DH. I would be PO'ed if he suddenly started inviting my father to things, KWIM?

  • rease, that is very sweet.

    my SO's parents both passed away years ago.  i wish i could have met them, and i wish DS could have 4 grandparents.  on the other hand, no in-law drama for me.

  • imagejenerally:

    you aren't selfish. I felt the same way when DH and I first married.

    But I have to respect DH and his relationship with his mother. I can't MAKE them be friends and I can't MAKE them have the kind of relationship I would want to have. DH doesn't force me to interact with my family more than I want to, so I have to be the same kind of person in return.

    MIL would LOVE LOVE LOVE to have a bigger role in our lives. But again, I leave it up to DH. I would be PO'ed if he suddenly started inviting my father to things, KWIM?

    I understand. I would never push DH into anything with his mom. Just wishful thinking. DH doesn't even know I feel this way.

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  • oh i'm all for respecting it, and he doesnt see his parents nearly as often as i think he should, so i casually mention that maybe he should go see them/call them. usually he doesn't care, and I think he's still upset that they decided to move out of town and that they dont really make an effort. so w/e i dont force him. and since i dont much care for her, i dont try that hard either
  • I'm nice to my MIL if that counts. No one really gets along with her. She's very selfish when it comes to certain things...like me "stealing" her son away from her lol.
  • I adore my MIL.  She is an awesome and classy woman.

    I honestly can't think of anything negative about her. She can be indecisive sometimes, but that's about it.  I know I truly hit the jackpot with her and I can't thank her enough for raising my DH to be the most incredible man I know.

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  • DH is the youngest of 4 and the favorite.  When my IL's found out we were pg they decided to move to the same town from 4 hours away.  MIL is awesome..I will be glad that she is here I think.  She can be a little anal at times but it is usually to my benefit so I dont mind.  That may make me sound like a bit*h but seriously ladies, who couldnt do with one fewer loads of dishes to do.  :) 
  • I was chatting a little bit about this morning.

    MIL is upstairs actually helping DH paint as I type this. I put in a solid five hours and couldn't do any more.

    Anyway, MIL is really nice and I've gotten along with her since the beginning. Their family dynamic is just really different than mine. For instance, they really enjoy spending time with each other.. They talk about politics at the dinner table. DH's parents listen to reggae. In other words, they're British. j/k.

    I don't have a relationship with my mom and I fear that sometimes I'm going to come off needy. So I think I overcompensate sometimes and pull back. I'm a freak and have no idea what's supposed to be "normal."

    There you go, my neurosis. Aren't you glad you're getting all of my nutsoness piece by piece?

    Lillian Annette, can't wait to meetcha! Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • they live so far away, they've only seen DD twice and it was a weekend trip each time.  They hardly ever call.  whatever.  I think they are really weird.  So no, I'm not close to my MIL at all.  And I like it like that =)
  • imagemanic mama:

    I was chatting a little bit about this morning.

    MIL is upstairs actually helping DH paint as I type this. I put in a solid five hours and couldn't do any more.

    Anyway, MIL is really nice and I've gotten along with her since the beginning. Their family dynamic is just really different than mine. For instance, they really enjoy spending time with each other.. They talk about politics at the dinner table. DH's parents listen to reggae. In other words, they're British. j/k.

    I don't have a relationship with my mom and I fear that sometimes I'm going to come off needy. So I think I overcompensate sometimes and pull back. I'm a freak and have no idea what's supposed to be "normal."

    There you go, my neurosis. Aren't you glad you're getting all of my nutsoness piece by piece?

    We all have nutsoness in one way or another. I have many.

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  • imageElisa312:

    I adore my MIL.  She is an awesome and classy woman.

    I honestly can't think of anything negative about her. She can be indecisive sometimes, but that's about it.  I know I truly hit the jackpot with her and I can't thank her enough for raising my DH to be the most incredible man I know.

    Wow. That's awesome for you. I have to say, though, that answer was super intensely happy.

    Lillian Annette, can't wait to meetcha! Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • Pre-pregnancy has been quite strong. However, since I had him, she's been getting on my nerves. She just overdoes it. Sometimes I feel like she's being a little to overbearing.
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  • imagemanic mama:
    imageElisa312:

    I adore my MIL.  She is an awesome and classy woman.

    I honestly can't think of anything negative about her. She can be indecisive sometimes, but that's about it.  I know I truly hit the jackpot with her and I can't thank her enough for raising my DH to be the most incredible man I know.

    Wow. That's awesome for you. I have to say, though, that answer was super intensely happy.

    I guess I'm having an super intensely happy day.  Stick out tongue  Last Friday, not so much.

    Really, though, my MIL rocks. Perhaps I feel this way because I see some of my friend's MIL's who are absolutely kooky/mean/rude/indifferent/controlling/etc.

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  • she seems to think we're a lot closer than we are...seems she tells me about her sex life and stuff. We're pretty cool, ut she is kind of a rude person and doesn't have many manners, which is total opposite of my family.

    I don't know how DH ended up being so great, his mom was a single parent

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  • I like my MIL but we're not very close.  Her other two children live within 5 min of her house but DH and I live 2 1/2 hours away.  She really favors spending time with her other two kids, even when DH and I are there for a visit. 
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