Questions for ladies who had natural M/C

FALLENWINGZ11 · January 2009

As most of you know by my previous posts.. I have been goign through a pretty rough time (found out I was pregnant 12/21.. started spotting 12/24... went to the doctot and was told i officially was having a miscarriage 1/6). Anyway.. I have been having a really hard time and was developing "other health issues" like chest pains, twitches in my head etc. I was CONVINCED there was something wrong with me and I had heart problems or a tumor OR SOMETHING. I went to talk to a therapist yesterday and mentally i feel alot better-- physically not so much. He believes that because I had no closure with my m/c (there is no reason WHY is happened.. no conclusion) that I am manifesting these other issues b/c something HAS to be wrong with me to have caused it. My anxiety has been horrendous and I just feel like crap. He let me know that it is OK to be angry and upset but more improtantly that I didnt do anything wrong. Today i woke up though & i feel like I got the crap kicked out of me. I have a BAD headache, my back aches, I feel like I have knots down my side and not ot mention I am still going thru having a UTI. So the point of this post is this:

When I went for my last u/s and bloodwork my betas were only 175 and there was still no sac or anything shown.They said my betas put me at a 2-3 week pregnancy The following week my betas were down to 31 (that is when they said I had miscarried) and a week later now are 29. I guess this is hard for me because I never had any closure. Even on my heaviest day I wasnt soaking through pads... I passed tissue but they were HUGE like some I have read. For a week I was on bed rest and just waited & waited for those awful cramps & bleeding but they never came. And now I just have to accept this happened. For all you ladies who had a natural m/c, was it hard for you also to accept this just happened? Has anyone been through something similar as me? I have been such an emtional wreck the past few days I called my doctor to discuss other options for speedingt his along but my doctor said they dont want to do a D&C b/c they dont believe they need to and will monitor my betas until they get low to make sure everything has cleared its way on its own. I even got a second opinion and he agreed with everything my other doctors even said. I feel like mentally I just cant accept this happened. Even yesterday I had a bad cramp in my side and I was convincing myself that I had an ectopic pregnancy. HELLO... YOU ARENT EVEN PREGNANT ANYMORE!!!!!!! It is like I keep resorting back to being pregnant. I dont know.... Anyway sorry this is so long I just was wondering is anyone else lost as early as I did and if it was this difficult??

CaptainD · January 2009

My experience wasn't the same but I wanted to reach out to you to let you know I am sorry for your loss and for everything you are going through. I am nowhere near doctor material but, to me, it sounds like your nerves are wreaking havoc on you. I hope you get some peace soon.

Mrsjulybride · January 2009

I'm so sorry for your loss. I also began a natural m/c on 1/6. My first loss required a D&E so there was an actual "event" around the loss whereas this loss was just really physically painful and of course emotionally b/c I knew what was happening. After my first loss I was filled with anger and wondered why I bothered to go to the gym and watch my trans-fats if this was how my body responded. I thought why do I bother taking care of myself at all? Now, after my second m/c, I'm waiting for my hCG levels to go to 0 and then they'll start RPL testing to see if there is a definitive cause or if this is just horrible luck. Honestly, I'm not sure which way I want that to go. Don't be too hard on yourself. I've found that stress manifests itself in many physical ways - headaches, body aches, stomach cramps. I think this may be what you're experiencing. I wish I had a magic answer for you, but unfortunately we just need time. This board has really helped me because talking to other women who've been through this are really the only people who can truly understand. We're here when you need us. And remember, you've been through a traumatic experience both physically and mentally so give yourself a break (much easier said than done, I know).?

Dontblink · January 2009

I apologize and hope you are not offended with my ticker. I spent last year on this board. I 3 had losses...one was a chemical pregnancy. The first was a stillborn son, second was a chemical, third was a blighted ovum. I am currently 21 weeks pregnant with a healthy (fingers crossed it stays that way) baby. They believe I have a clotting disorder. I was on progesterone in the first trimester, folic acid and lovenox...they believe I had a pregnancy induced clotting disorder.Yes, it was very hard and really sad and upsetting for me also. I just kept kicked when I was down. Our stillborn son actually made the early miscarriages a tiny bit easier for me because I had to deliver him and had that attachment for 5 months. But no matter when the loss happens, it is always hard. I know how sad and frustrating it is, it was the story of my life last year, but just don't give up hope and keep trying until you get your answers.am in therapy once a week and my amazing therapist has been such a wonderful help to me. Best of luck to you. You can always page me if you need to talk. PS I am from Northern Jersey..where are you from?

Dontblink · January 2009

sorry for the typos..i was typing too fast.

rose76 · January 2009

I am so sorry you are going through this. I've had 3 natural m/c's and I had a very hard time with all of them. Sometimes, you can have stomach pain/cramping even after the material has passed.....I personally was physically fine right after, but the emotional aspect was very hard. You have every right to be upset and confused. GL!

Rose

FALLENWINGZ11 · January 2009

Thank you ladies for ALL of your support!

This has been SUCH a hard time for me mentally. . I am a control freak and I think it really bothers me that I had no control over the The hardest thing is that everyone keeps saying "things happen for a reason".... well that is not good enough for me... WHAT IS THE REASON??/ That is why the therpaist thinks I am manifesting these other issues... because I NEED a reason.. it is just awful. I had no idea how much stress can effect your body! I just want my hormones to be back down to zero. And Am i not normal for NOT wanting to get pregnant again right away? I just feel so emtionally drained right now.. I dont know if I could handle feeling overally HIGH or 'god forbid' LOW again!

rose76 · January 2009

After my 2nd m/c, my DH and I were fairly certain we would never try again. But I got pg and we were not trying....so we thought it was a blessing...Everyone is different. Personally, I DO NOT want to try again. I know some peoples' desire to have a child outweighs their fear of another m/c, but it is not the case for us. As of right now, we are about 90% sure we will not try and are going to adopt. It was a mutal decision and my DH saw the emotional pain I went through with each m/c....GL with everything...if you ever want to talk, email me grundy1996@yahoo.com

Rose

ibis · January 2009

I did have a natural m/c but mine was a little further along and a little more dramatic physically, so I guess that probably gave me some of the closure you're seeking. Although I am in a similar state of just not having ANY answers for why it happened.

What I would like to tell you is that stress and emotion can have a real, serious effect on your body and physical health. Just because aches and pains may be caused by depression or anxiety does not mean they're "just in your head" or that you're making them up, or that if you would just "get over it" you would feel better. You have experienced a devastating and confusing loss and you're suffering emotionally and physically. This is normal, understandable, and not your fault or not wrong for you to feel the way you do. I hope that you can get some support from your doctor, therapist, and loved ones during this difficult time. Remember that you have a right to take all the time you need to process everything.

GL, I'm sorry for your loss and hope you will feel better soon.?

mrshutch · January 2009

I joined here at about the same time you did, so I know what you've been going through, but wanted to say again I'm so sorry you're going through such a tough time. I'm still have up & down moments, especially since I was supposed to be 12 wks today. There are moments when I'm so hopeful all over again, and others when I just can't believe that we went through this again. This may sound odd, but I do feel fortunate that w/ both of my m/c there was a definitive "ending." My 1st was nat., but I passed the full sac in the ER, so there wasn't a question about whether it was over yet. For this one, I had a D&C, so again, it was a definitive event. I'm so sorry for the ladies on here who go through not being sure when they've fully miscarried.

I completely agree w/ ibis that emotional stress can have such an impact on you physically. That's one of the reasons I'm starting acupuncture on Thursday- to try and calm down and work on having peace of mind. I think it's great that you're seeing a therapist; that in itself is a big step. I hope they're able to help you through all of this, along with the other supportive people in your life. I can totally understand not wanting to try again, since m/c is a traumatic event and there's also fear involved for the next pregnancy. I wish you all the best as you continue to work through this.

mike_bianca · January 2009

I had a natural miscarriage last night, started yesterday during dinner, the whole process last night was very painful and im still bleeding, very little but i am, i know i already passed something big because i felt it..i dont know if its the tylenol or what, but i dont feel any more physical pain, i do feel a lot of emotional pain though..every time i think about it it makes me cry. i havent even told my family or his. we are waiting to go to the doctor tomorrow to have closure and then we will tell everyone, i dont know how though, its really sad. yesterday i was at 6 weeks and 3 days, but i dont know at what week the baby's hb stopped so im going to find out tomorrow, i hope i passed everything on my own because i dont want anyone messing with me down there anymore im very tired of all that.i am really sad and confused and i keep asking why why why but you know what, theres always a next time, and just thank god that you were at least able to experience to much happiness while it lasted, ask him for more and he will listen. i know its hard to have faith in these times but i think its worth it. hang in there.

ibis · January 2009

mike_bianca:
I had a natural miscarriage last night, started yesterday during dinner, the whole process last night was very painful and im still bleeding, very little but i am, i know i already passed something big because i felt it..i dont know if its the tylenol or what, but i dont feel any more physical pain, i do feel a lot of emotional pain though..every time i think about it it makes me cry. i havent even told my family or his. we are waiting to go to the doctor tomorrow to have closure and then we will tell everyone, i dont know how though, its really sad. yesterday i was at 6 weeks and 3 days, but i dont know at what week the baby's hb stopped so im going to find out tomorrow, i hope i passed everything on my own because i dont want anyone messing with me down there anymore im very tired of all that.i am really sad and confused and i keep asking why why why but you know what, theres always a next time, and just thank god that you were at least able to experience to much happiness while it lasted, ask him for more and he will listen. i know its hard to have faith in these times but i think its worth it. hang in there.

I'm so sorry, this is still so fresh for you... I could not handle calling family to tell them about my m/c so my H called everyone. *hugs* feel better soon.?

FALLENWINGZ11 · January 2009

mike_bianca:
I had a natural miscarriage last night, started yesterday during dinner, the whole process last night was very painful and im still bleeding, very little but i am, i know i already passed something big because i felt it..i dont know if its the tylenol or what, but i dont feel any more physical pain, i do feel a lot of emotional pain though..every time i think about it it makes me cry. i havent even told my family or his. we are waiting to go to the doctor tomorrow to have closure and then we will tell everyone, i dont know how though, its really sad. yesterday i was at 6 weeks and 3 days, but i dont know at what week the baby's hb stopped so im going to find out tomorrow, i hope i passed everything on my own because i dont want anyone messing with me down there anymore im very tired of all that.i am really sad and confused and i keep asking why why why but you know what, theres always a next time, and just thank god that you were at least able to experience to much happiness while it lasted, ask him for more and he will listen. i know its hard to have faith in these times but i think its worth it. hang in there.

I am so sorry for your loss. I was very early in my pregnancy (they think around 2-3weeks going of fmy betas so I never passed anything BIG) but the whole experience is awful & I say everyday that NO ONE should EVER have to go thru this. This wkednd i went home to NY and saw my family for the first time since this all started on xmas. It was horrible & I cried the entire time but they cried with me and let me know it is OK. My mom had 3 miscarriages and it was nice to relate to someone first hand. It is hard though because she had already had me & my 3 sisters when she miscarried so she atleast knew she could have babies. Anyway, Thank you for your inspirational words & support! All you ladies are so great! You make me feel like I am not alone!

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