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Working Moms
Annoyed with Nanny
We have a nanny 3 days a week and pay top compensation for her for our area. She has been with us for a 2 months now and in that time, I took a week off (Christmas week) so she did not have to work that week and she also took the following week off (New Years Week) to visit her family. I'm totally fine with this.
On Tuesday she told DH that she will be late today -- 3 hours late because of an appointment. She didn't ask, apparently. She just told. I'm annoyed because she has 2 other days a week to make personal appointments, not to mention she had ample time over the holidays to make appointments.
I'm really pissed. I feel like we're being taken advantage of. I am afraid to say anything because she is very good with DS and I don't want to do anything to jeopardize that. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if she was interviewing for other jobs since we only use her part-time (I know this is a risk you run with a part-time nanny).
There are other small issues too, none of which have to do with DS though which is why I bite my tongue.
Thoughts?
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Re: Annoyed with Nanny
I'd be frustrated too. And I understand being worried about losing her, since I'm sure it's a competitive market in your area. But since she has 2 other entire days to make appts., would you be comfortable just gently requesting that she use that time instead? Since it's not like you're going to pry about the appt., I would assume that it's something important and she couldn't get another day (that would be my hope). But maybe say something like, I understand that we all have appts. and personal things to take care of, but it would be great if you could give me advance notice if you have something that can't be scheduled for another day. That way, you're seeming understanding, but still making it clear that you need more advance notice (really she should be asking, not telling).
That said, even if it's tough to find a nanny, if it's a pattern, I would find someone else. It's not fair if you're being taken advantage of.
I'm a PT nanny as well.... 3 days a week.
First of all I would NEVER call the day of to say I'm going to be 3 hrs late. That's ridiculous and rude. I would also (and do!) schedule all appts on the days that I am off. I am only interested in working PT so I would never look for other work (plus I could never leave the family!)
Was she wanting full time work? Are you actually working outside of the home or have her there to help while you're home? I say that because if you actually are not working outside the home she might not think it's a big deal if you're home...
I think open communication is key. We have a wonderful relationship and it's because we are able to speak honestly with each other about everything. Don't hold back because you're scared of losing her. Just be gentle and honest with her. GL
I know I''m late responding so I'm not sure if you'll see this. I have been going through the same thing with my nanny. I didn't say anything at first- I didn't want to be mean and have her mad at ds. Now I think it was a huge mistake. I think you have to set the ground rules early or they will take advantage (as my nanny has done). I am actually firing her tomorrow because it has gotten out of control- she's late a lot. The other day she kept me waiting (with ds) in the cold for 25 minutes- with no explanation when she arrived. I wish I had said something the first time it happened.
As for losing her, I wouldn't worry. First, in this economy there are a lot of people looking for jobs. I live in NYC and there are so many places to find good nannies. You can check out babybites.com for a list- moms post their nanny's name when they are moving/kids get too old, etc. There are always tons of nannies on it and you speak to the mom- not the nanny at first.
Good luck!
IUI- BFN IVF #1 -BFP! Allie is our 2nd IVF baby. Born at 36 1/2 weeks after pre-e again
Thank you for your responses. It is much appreciated and I did speak up yesterday. She called me when she was on her way over and I nicely told her that she screwed up our work schedules for the day and that we would need further notice in the future. She was apologetic both at the time of the call and when I saw her last night. I do like her so I hope this works. If not, we'll start looking to replace her. We just can't have someone that's unreliable.
JillAly -- Good to see another NYer on here even though I've now crossed the river into Hoboken (I know, I know
)! If memory serves me correct you were nice enough to make me some fabulous monograms for my wedding! Thanks again for that... they were a hit!