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Firing our nanny...what to do

briebertbriebert member
in Success after IF
For reasons I won't get into (and trust me, there are many...lots of little things, no one big thing in particular), we are going to fire our nanny of 6 months.  My husband is going to talk to her over the phone tomorrow, but how do we handle this?  Do we just basically not have her come back?  Do we give her a few weeks pay as a sort of severance package?  Should we give her a chance to say goodbye to our daughter?  This is very hard for me; I'm obviously not cut out to be an employer.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Re: Firing our nanny...what to do

  • brideinOCbrideinOC
    I'm guessing that since you're considering let her say goodbye to your DD that she didn't do something harmful or dangerous to your DD.  I think it would just be easier to let her go.  If you're willing to offer her a severance package, give her two weeks pay.   I hate having to do things like this, too.  I'm not good at it. 
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  • Nicole.Nicole.

    I'm obviously not a mom yet, but I am a full time nanny so I can see both sides.  I think there are a lot of things to consider.  One being the reason you're firing her (for example, her being continually late or unreliable is different than say, you not trusting her- or something more serious like a moral issue.  Secondly, I'd take into consideration her attitude/demeanor.  Does she get angry/bitter easily? Is she immature? Will she understand why you're firing her?  Can you trust her between the time you fire her and her last day? How long has she been with you? (This might affect the severance thing) Is she full time?  (also a severance issue)

     I've never been fired from a job before, but  I'd say there's no hard and fast rule on how to handle the situation.  Nannying isn't a typical 9-5 office job- you're family is involved and I think you need to think of what's best for you, your DH and you DD.  (And I'm saying this as a pregnant nanny.) I'm sorry you're going through this...I'm sure it's really difficult.  Good luck!

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  • skoorbniborskoorbnibor member

    I was a nanny during college and I think the best way would be to be honest about why, and I would tell her in person. If you don't want her to have to come to your house, maybe meet her at Starbucks. Tell her why and I would offer her 2 weeks pay.  as far as saying good bye, that would be for her benefit, so if you think it good, go for it, but do it while you are there. I was never fired for performance, but once I worked for 2 sisters and one had a bit of a nervous breakdown and stopped working so the other family could not afford me. I appreciated their honesty and we worked it out that I stayed with them part time until I found another position.

    Good luck!

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  • jodynjames2005jodynjames2005
    We fired our old nanny, too, albeit when she said she needed like 4 weeks off to rest. So, she just said one day she wasn't coming back for 4 weeks. We didn't offer severence or have her come back because the entire situation was absurd. If there had been a less ridiculous situation, I would have given her 2 weeks notice but might have opted to just pay it out to avoid having a disgrunted person caring for them.
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  • firsttogofirsttogo

    I nanny now with my son, and I certainly would like an explanation/suggestion for next time if there is an issue. I have had a lot of experience as a nanny too, and I have come to learn that some parents, especially new ones, are quite controlling about "little things" when it comes to caregivers. If you have concerns about her ethical behavior, the care that your child is receiving, or your child's safety, you should be up front with her. If the concerns are "little things" that are not going your way, I would tell her you are going in a different direction with your childcare situation.

    I have had some parents go through nanny after nanny, thinking that they are getting bad ones, and in reality, it is the parents who need to adjust. It is hard to have someone else in your home with your child. No Nanny will be perfect, and there will always be something that you would change if you could. It sounds like she loves your daughter, and your daughter likes her if you are offering to let her say goodbye. I would just be professional about it, and treat it as it is: a business transaction.  

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  • care99care99 member
    We fired our first nanny last year, but she had only been with us 2 months.  Actually I knew I wanted to fire her after the first week, but it took a lot of searching and interviewing before we found a replacement.  Anyway, we told her on a Friday so that she would not care for our son after being fired and gave her a week's pay.  She never put him in danger per se, but was just completely incompetent.
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  • MoDchiCkMoDchiCk member

    Like others I have been a nanny too and never fired but what I would expect is to be spoken to face to face...the phone thing sounds passive aggressive like you dont want some big scene. ? If you do it over the phone you'd still need to get keys back it becomes more awkward. ?

    ?In 90% of the nanny/employer relationships that I have seen NOT work out, she is probably not happy with the situation either thats whY all the small stuff hasnt changed.

    I would offer pay in the amount you would expect if she were giving notice if you'd expect 2 weeks then give her two weeks....

    ?hth

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