Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parentsโ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my bossโs most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, โOh, then Iโm totally at ease.โ I was constantly named โEmployee of the Year,โ with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorableโbig eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I canโt help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldnโt heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivationโฆ And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, feversโฆ I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this โdarkโ path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household choresโฆ
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration Iโve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change herโฆ
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And itโs not until evening that I remember, โOh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!โ
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesnโt negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because Iโve walked this path myself, I wonโt just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a โcompanionโ here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What youโre going through, Iโve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing controlโIโve had them all. You donโt need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiencesโnot just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls Iโve stumbled into, the tears Iโve shed, and the โsurvival wisdomโ Iโve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Momโs Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a โmomโs toolkit,โ filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those โgame-changerโ parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, Iโm applying all those skills to this new โpositionโ of Mom. I want to prove that a momโs value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightlyโperhaps even brighterโin this more complex, long-term โprojectโ of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, โSo itโs not just me.โ Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Letโs walk it together.
bigworldlittleg
member
Re: Weekly Check-in 4/28
Rave: I had an appointment where we got to hear the babies heartbeat today. Itโs been over a month since my last appointment so it was nice getting to hear him
Rant: my baby shower is in a few weeks which Iโm simultaneously excited for and stressed about. Iโve been trying to organize and plan, but Iโm definitely running low on time.ย
Iโll share some parenting advice from a mom in my previous bump group, which is that itโs okay to not enjoy every stage of parenting. My son was a tough newborn, and I felt so much guilt on days when I wasnโt thoroughly loving it. And she said, reminder that itโs okay to not love this stage. It really helped to take the pressure off and not beat myself up over the days when I just wanted to crawl in a hole. Each stage of your childโs life will come with unique joys and unique challenges. Some youโll handle better than others, and your partner will handle some better than others. Utilize your strengths where you have them, and give yourself compassion during the times of parenting when youโre struggling. Everything is just a phase, and wonโt last forever!
Rant: My spouse leaves for 2 weeks tomorrow and then I leave for a week once heโs home. Not looking forward to May being so travel heavy for us.
After a friend (in a very nice attempt to be helpful!) sent me a long complicated list of โthings you definitely MUST have before baby gets hereโ from a mom Facebook group, my mom (whose job is to support low income/high risk new moms) told me that the basic needs to healthily support a newborn is in reality a very short and simple list and everything else is white noise/optional. General advice from my mom thatโs really been ingrained in me over the years is that life is often a lot simpler than we can sometimes get worked up and make it out to be.ย
@tashaandpeanut Such good advice! Itโs true. It feels like you need so much and need to have so much figured out to be ready, but itโs a false sense of preparation for something there is no preparing for. ๐ We are starting from scratch with all the baby gear and I havenโt bought anything yet. I made a list, though, but itโs quite short and basic. Itโs actually been kind of freeing to take a less is more approach.ย
Rant - baby is back to measuring small, so I have to go in every week for different monitoring. Definitely spiked my anxiety like crazy! But trying to stay positive and remind myself that everyone in my family is small (I'm only 5'0) and we were small babies, so that may be the main reason rather than something more serious.
What are you all doing to get all the protein needs in? I canโt eat much at a time and some days nothing sounds good. Not icky like first trimester food aversions, just not hungry.ย
Expect the unexpected. I was headed overseas to Africa for a year long position and the advice made little sense to me then as a 19 year old but Iโve come to appreciate it even if the unexpected did happen that year. And as life goes on, I realize thereโs less predictably than Iโll ever want, but that phrase helps me let go and be ok with things not going as plannedโฆmost of the time.ย
My husband is freaking out about $, but it doesn't help we have 1 car that may or may not last the year, and another that probably will need to be replaced a year later. We have $ saved, but we've got different thoughts on how we should spend it ... the joys of marriage! It'll be ok, but it's trying sometimes, especially when energy is low, to engage in such serious conversations.
Change is a constant is our world. (Also, praise God, God is a constant!)
Trying to remind my husband of both as he struggles with the reality that his life will be drastically different in a short while. He has a tendency to hold on to the old and fight the new. I, personally, like to transition to an intermediary in the process so the change isn't as shocking to my system.