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TTGP w/o Dec 2

aisleofviewtwoaisleofviewtwo member
in Trying to Get Pregnant
**The questions posted here will be pretty generic, so feel free to add other questions/info that are pertinent or delete what isn't. Please err on the side of caution and use trigger warnings/spoilers for topics that may be sensitive for other users.**   

WAYDTGKU (BD/TI/IVF/FET/Benched/etc.):  

WTO/TWW:   

Timing/CS:   

How are things going? Any questions?:  

R/R:

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Re: TTGP w/o Dec 2

  • aisleofviewtwoaisleofviewtwo member
    WAYDTGKU (BD/TI/IVF/FET/Benched/etc.):  Benched for FET, NTNP in the meantime

    WTO/TWW: TWW?

    Timing/CS: If I ovulated Tuesday like I think I did (BBT confirmation TBD, mine typically stairsteps over a few days) -2 +1

    How are things going? Any questions?: Things are fine. The holidays are hard this year. Also the recent NYT article about the couples doing IVF whose embryos got switched at transfer and then they switched their babies back to their genetic parents as newborns made me realize how cynical I've become about IVF---all I could think was how damn lucky they got that both transfers resulted in live births! I'm not renouncing IVF entirely, but I'm increasingly feeling like all the downtime there isn't worth it, and rather than being a "good" patient we should be trying for spontaneous conception every chance we get.

    R/R: We put up a tree for the first time this year (artificial, got it on clearance last spring) and it's making me feel more festive than anticipated! Haven't yet braved putting up ornaments because we have cats, but they don't seem interested in the tree at the moment so maybe we can add a few  :)
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  • ferret22ferret22 member
    Sorry I've been kind of MIA. Thanks @aisleofviewtwo for posting the threads each week. I hear you on the waiting, it feels awful. Hoping you have good luck next time. 

    WAYDTGKU (BD/TI/IVF/FET/Benched/etc.):  TI

    WTO/TWW:   WTO

    Timing/CS:   Back with Aunt Flo. Just got to keep trying. 

    How are things going? Any questions?:  I'm feeling the passage of time a bit too keenly. Each cycle we miss just makes me think about how much older I'll be if we're successful. Trying not to keep stressing over my age too much. 

    R/R: Rave: I have been so sick with colds and my husband stepped up and did all the Christmas decorating. It all looks so cute, I'm so grateful. 
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  • peppyj9peppyj9 member
    WAYDTGKU (BD/TI/IVF/FET/Benched/etc.):  BD/TI

    WTO/TWW:   WTO

    Timing/CS:  trying every other day and hoping for the best 🤞🏻

    How are things going? Any questions?:  like the both of you, I'm feeling discouraged. Every cycle that passes not only makes me older but makes the gap between my son and the next (hopefully!) baby get larger. He'll be 5 in January and at this point I'm feeling less excited about starting over and feeling like they won't really be growing up together anyway. But, my sister is 6yrs older than me and while we were at very different stages growing up, we're close as adults, so I guess it can work out. It's just not what I had imagined for my family. But then we're all feeling that way about our family planning aren't we? It's rough ladies!

    R/R: honestly the only thing keeping me from feeling too depressed is the holiday season. I'm feeling festive this year and throwing a Christmas cookie/hot cocoa bar party and having fun choosing all the things for it. So at least we're having some fun moments. 
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  • peppyj9peppyj9 member
    @aisleofviewtwo I hadn't seen that IVF article but I do agree that in general it's not talked about enough that IVF isn't always successful and is financially draining if you have to try more than once. If it were me I'd be trying for spontaneous conception too. How many times have we seen stories of people finding out they're pregnant right before an appointment. It happens all the time. Anyway, I am crossing everything that it happens one way or the other very, very soon!!

    @ferret22 I understand your feelings about age. I feel the same way, but from my perspective you're still young! Lol. But I get it. That was very sweet of your husband to decorate for you so you can enjoy the festive-ness!
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  • ferret22ferret22 member
    @peppyj9 Thank you, I appreciate what you're saying. I think my issue is that I've always wanted three kids so I keep mentally calculating how old I'll be by the time we're able to have the third. It's a problem lol. 
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  • peppyj9peppyj9 member
    @ferret22 ah, well knowing that you want a 3rd puts your feelings in perspective a bit more. I initially thought I might want 3 but as time has gone on I've come to feeling that I'll be grateful to have 2 and I don't think I or biology will have it in me to try for 3. Honestly at this point I feel incredibly blessed to have 1 but it still feels like someone is missing. 
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  • ferret22ferret22 member
    peppyj9 said:
    @ferret22 ah, well knowing that you want a 3rd puts your feelings in perspective a bit more. I initially thought I might want 3 but as time has gone on I've come to feeling that I'll be grateful to have 2 and I don't think I or biology will have it in me to try for 3. Honestly at this point I feel incredibly blessed to have 1 but it still feels like someone is missing. 
    It's funny, I was never the kind of person who dreamed of getting married as a kid but I've always had a clear vision of myself as having three kids. I don't know why but that's how I've always pictured my life. I'm hoping it can still happen but I'm trying to prepare myself for it not working out. I feel very grateful for having 1 as well. We had fertility issues and had to go through a lot to get our first so I understand I sound very privileged saying I want more children. I hope I don't upset or offend anyone.
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  • aisleofviewtwoaisleofviewtwo member
    Agh, I need to be better about checking the boards at the end of the week!

    @peppyj9 I totally understand your concerns about age gaps and kids being able to connect with one another. I'm still trying for my first, but since my siblings' kiddos overlap in age so much I think a lot about the widening gap between my future kids and their cousins. That said, anecdata tells me that families come in all shapes and sizes, and that proximity in age does not necessarily equate to closeness. I actually have a 6-year-old nephew who has sweetly (if devastatingly) taken to telling me that "if you had a baby, then I would have another cousin!" Cousins aren't siblings, and obviously all kids are different, but I'd say don't lose hope that your children will have that close bond you're hoping for. Life is long and people are surprising <3

    @ferret22 I can only speak for myself but I think it's perfectly understandable to have a vision for how your life will go and be disappointed when/if things don't go as planned. We're still hoping for 2 but there are days it's kind of impossible to believe we could manage a second kid when the first one has already been so challenging. I just try to remind myself frequently that there are many ways of making and being in a family, all of them hard in their own way and with plenty of trade-offs, and that all we can do is continue to make the best choices for us day by day.
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  • peppyj9peppyj9 member
    @aisleofviewtwo thank you for your kind words. It was actually just what I needed to hear and I really appreciate you helping highlight another perspective ✨️ 💖 
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  • peppyj9peppyj9 member
    @ferret22 not offended at all! It's perfectly understandable to be disappointed things aren't going as planned. It doesn't make you any less grateful for what you do have. It's funny because I always envisioned myself as a mother also, to at least 2, but never rant thought about the marriage part. I always figured it was because my mom was a single mom so that just felt natural in my mind 🤷🏻‍♀️
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