- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Trying to Get Pregnant
ajdub88
member
Teacher Mom Going from 2 to 3 After 35
ajdub88
member
Let me give you some back story, so you may possibly have a more informed opinion about our situation. Also, thank you in advance for reading!
I am a 36 year old mom of a 7 year old boy and a 4 year old girl, I teach 6th grade English, and I am married to a high school science teacher. We live in a 3 bed, 1.5 bath rancher on a quiet dead end street with two very basic cars. Oh, and we have a 2 year old pit-bull mix we absolutely adore. My husband and I have been married for 12 years, going on 13 this upcoming May. We have been through several ups and downs, financially/emotionally/mentally, but we are currently in a really good space with our marriage and have been for a few years now.
Unfortunately, my husband gets super stressed out from work, has crippling anxiety, but has been working though all of his issues with a therapist for the past 2 years. So far, I really feel like we as a couple and as a family have gotten into a good, yet still tiring, daily groove. I have so much love for my kids and my husband, it hurts!
Currently, my husband and I were thinking about trying to have a 3rd child. Like I said, I'm 36 and will be 37 in January. My husband will be 40 next month in November. Our house isn't huge and our cars are small. We have bounced around the idea of a third since my daughter was 2 years old, but have always come back with a resounding NO (finances, space, our mental health). Yet, recently, when we brought it up again, both of us came to the conclusion that we should possibly try. We seem to come to the thought that we'd rather try and have one then regret never trying at all. We are financially sound, we can always carve out space, and we are in need of at least one new car at some point soon anyway.
My son's birth was very stressful for me; he was in the NICU for 2 weeks and I had zero support from my family. I was a first time mom and was a wreck. My daughter's birth was much better, knowing my family was lacking and my husband was may more involved, but then COVID happened 3 months later. I was attempting to virtually teach 6th grade ELA to my students, teach virtual preschool to my then 3 year old son, keep a 3 month old on schedule, while my husband virtually taught physics in the garage. So, I would love a somewhat "normal" post birth experience at some point lol I know it's selfish but I am being honest.
As a working mom, whose husband deals with extreme anxiety, I worry that this might not be in the best interest for my husband and our family. I don't want to send him over the edge emotionally or mentally. After both kids are asleep, we at least have an hour or two to hang out before passing out, and having a third would take that away. But, then again, I think that's only temporary. Having done this twice already, I know how intense yet how fast the newborn stage is, so that is why I always feel like I have an answer to every issue that arises.
I'm pretty sure my husband wouldn't say "go for it" if he didn't think he could handle it, but I worry lol.
My heart says "yes", but my mind says "not so sure" when it comes to having a third. What should I/we do in this situation? I keep waiting for some kind of sign to give me the big yes or the big no, but I know we live in reality and shouldn't base our adult decision making on superstitious whims.
Any thoughts, comments, or suggestions on this matter would be GREATLY appreciated. Thanks again!
I am a 36 year old mom of a 7 year old boy and a 4 year old girl, I teach 6th grade English, and I am married to a high school science teacher. We live in a 3 bed, 1.5 bath rancher on a quiet dead end street with two very basic cars. Oh, and we have a 2 year old pit-bull mix we absolutely adore. My husband and I have been married for 12 years, going on 13 this upcoming May. We have been through several ups and downs, financially/emotionally/mentally, but we are currently in a really good space with our marriage and have been for a few years now.
Unfortunately, my husband gets super stressed out from work, has crippling anxiety, but has been working though all of his issues with a therapist for the past 2 years. So far, I really feel like we as a couple and as a family have gotten into a good, yet still tiring, daily groove. I have so much love for my kids and my husband, it hurts!
Currently, my husband and I were thinking about trying to have a 3rd child. Like I said, I'm 36 and will be 37 in January. My husband will be 40 next month in November. Our house isn't huge and our cars are small. We have bounced around the idea of a third since my daughter was 2 years old, but have always come back with a resounding NO (finances, space, our mental health). Yet, recently, when we brought it up again, both of us came to the conclusion that we should possibly try. We seem to come to the thought that we'd rather try and have one then regret never trying at all. We are financially sound, we can always carve out space, and we are in need of at least one new car at some point soon anyway.
My son's birth was very stressful for me; he was in the NICU for 2 weeks and I had zero support from my family. I was a first time mom and was a wreck. My daughter's birth was much better, knowing my family was lacking and my husband was may more involved, but then COVID happened 3 months later. I was attempting to virtually teach 6th grade ELA to my students, teach virtual preschool to my then 3 year old son, keep a 3 month old on schedule, while my husband virtually taught physics in the garage. So, I would love a somewhat "normal" post birth experience at some point lol I know it's selfish but I am being honest.
As a working mom, whose husband deals with extreme anxiety, I worry that this might not be in the best interest for my husband and our family. I don't want to send him over the edge emotionally or mentally. After both kids are asleep, we at least have an hour or two to hang out before passing out, and having a third would take that away. But, then again, I think that's only temporary. Having done this twice already, I know how intense yet how fast the newborn stage is, so that is why I always feel like I have an answer to every issue that arises.
I'm pretty sure my husband wouldn't say "go for it" if he didn't think he could handle it, but I worry lol.
My heart says "yes", but my mind says "not so sure" when it comes to having a third. What should I/we do in this situation? I keep waiting for some kind of sign to give me the big yes or the big no, but I know we live in reality and shouldn't base our adult decision making on superstitious whims.
Any thoughts, comments, or suggestions on this matter would be GREATLY appreciated. Thanks again!
Re: Teacher Mom Going from 2 to 3 After 35