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MIL problems

knottie74bfc7c180ee2fd3knottie74bfc7c180ee2fd3 member
in 2nd Trimester
Hi, just looking for insight on how to approach my MIL. Ever since my husband and I told her of our pregnancy she made it clear that she didn’t want to see ultrasound photos, know anything about the pregnancy, and know the gender. I found this very odd but I let it go. Later on she would bombard me with questions about my OB appointments. I felt like I was getting whiplash from her not wanting to know anything but then wanting to know everything. I also let that go. I couldn’t post any ultrasound photos on social media where she recently added me and where I only have friends and coworkers (no family members). I felt very trapped by her decision. It got to the point where I posted a photo of the way I surprised my husband of the pregnancy and MIL immediately texted my husband and asked if we are announcing the pregnancy. I felt as if she felt entitled to be in our business. I also let that go. We have shared the pregnancy with immediate family and close friends and coworkers (mainly me bc I was feeling terribly sick at work) but not extended family. Husband and I talked about waiting until 2nd trimester to announce the pregnancy to extended family and officially post on social media photos and gender, that contains all friends, coworkers, and family. Just recently MIL asked husband if she could announce the pregnancy to our extended family. Husband didn’t think to run this by me. MIL didn’t think to ask me as well. I am just now finding out and I feel cheated out of the opportunity for husband and I to announce this special moment to extended family. I feel crazy. I feel like I’m being unfair to my MIL because husband doesn’t seem to understand how MIL behavior is inappropriate to me. What’s worse upsetting is I have a crazy mom who I would expect all these types of behaviors from her but she has been respectful. Hasn’t announced pregnancy or asked if she could announce. Just confused to MIL behavior. Thoughts? 
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Re: MIL problems

  • harpseal135harpseal135 member
    Honestly, immediate family knows, your lucky extended family didn't know long ago.  After I told immediate family I didn't care who told who, because the ones that i cared most knew and you know that things don't always stay quiet ad it may slip or they just assume others know already, etc.  
    Yes she sounds like a handful. But your husband said it was OK so she asked.  Not like she did it without permission from her son. 
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  • noortlenoortle member
    I think it sounds like it would be useful to sit down together and lay out expectations? She’s probably not meaning to be inappropriate, just has her own idea of how pregnancies should be handled. Especially as you get closer to finding out the gender, that will be something that you can kind of reset and choose for yourself how you want to announce, and then just let husband and MIL know ahead of time and hear their thoughts so no one is surprised or cheated out of the process.
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  • allmyhartallmyhart member
    I'm so sorry, this is definitely a bummer.  You can't erase what's already happened, so just be super clear and on the same page with your husband moving forward about your agreed upon boundaries and what you're ok sharing with who!!
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