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2nd Trimester
kjarcher87
member
Disassociation
kjarcher87
member
People don't really like to talk about mental health at all, but being pregnant I'm finding that I need a bit more support emotionally. I have bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder, but have thankfully been perfectly stable for over a year and for all of the pregnancy so far.
For a few weeks I've really been struggling with disassociation... For me it's just not having the reality totally sink in. I'm 24 weeks and it's painfully obvious that I'm pregnant! I'm not in denial. I do know that I'm pregnant. (& All the kicking is helping some). I think it's the lack of feeling "connected" and I'm sure the exhaustion doesn't help. Every now and then I get completely consumed with a tsunami size wave of reality and fall apart. All the doubts and uncertainty hits me like a flood and I start crying and panicking. My husband is a huge support and help in keeping me grounded and not letting me spiral.
We have waited for 17 years, through many tears (& pro-con lists), for this baby boy who will be here in January. I think because we've been hoping and praying for so long, now that it's finally happening, it just doesn't seem possible.
Has anyone else struggled with feeling connected or having it fully "sink in"? How do you stay in the moment and not miss the journey? When does that "connected" feeling happen? Please don't say when he's born, lol!
Because of my mental health history, I am and he always been afraid to postpartum depression, but now with bipolar disorder, I have a higher risk of postpartum psychosis too. I do not want to go back on meds! So, any help you may have to offer in feeling connected and not disassociating is much appreciated! I don't want the shock of having a newborn, and having it finally sink in then, to completely overwhelm and destabilize me (any more than it already will).
For a few weeks I've really been struggling with disassociation... For me it's just not having the reality totally sink in. I'm 24 weeks and it's painfully obvious that I'm pregnant! I'm not in denial. I do know that I'm pregnant. (& All the kicking is helping some). I think it's the lack of feeling "connected" and I'm sure the exhaustion doesn't help. Every now and then I get completely consumed with a tsunami size wave of reality and fall apart. All the doubts and uncertainty hits me like a flood and I start crying and panicking. My husband is a huge support and help in keeping me grounded and not letting me spiral.
We have waited for 17 years, through many tears (& pro-con lists), for this baby boy who will be here in January. I think because we've been hoping and praying for so long, now that it's finally happening, it just doesn't seem possible.
Has anyone else struggled with feeling connected or having it fully "sink in"? How do you stay in the moment and not miss the journey? When does that "connected" feeling happen? Please don't say when he's born, lol!
Because of my mental health history, I am and he always been afraid to postpartum depression, but now with bipolar disorder, I have a higher risk of postpartum psychosis too. I do not want to go back on meds! So, any help you may have to offer in feeling connected and not disassociating is much appreciated! I don't want the shock of having a newborn, and having it finally sink in then, to completely overwhelm and destabilize me (any more than it already will).
Re: Disassociation
I will say though, I definitely felt prepared by the time my first baby came and then was absolutely floored by the reality. I would recommend setting up in advance things like lactation consultation if you want to breastfeed, or weekly social times with other parents or checkups with your provider, because then you’ll know that you’ll have extra support lined up if you end up needing it.
congratulations on your little boy!! Some of my favorite times during pregnancy are just when I lay down and just feel baby move. You don’t need to count kicks every time, just enjoy thinking “what’s that baby up to in there?”