Everything my Mom does frustrates me

Re: Everything my Mom does frustrates me

• daniellejaske member

  January 2024

  You’re not alone! This is the first grand baby on both sides for me and my husband. I turn 30 in two months. I really want to love my mom, but sometimes she just makes it unnecessarily hard. She isn’t particularly good at listening (to me, my needs, and boundaries). If I don’t want to share my baby’s name… not sure why people can’t just respect MOMs wishes of all people.

  
  

  Hang in there, lady.

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• lilclimberincoming member

  February 2024

  To reiterate again, you're not alone! 
  I have a mother who is pretty difficult in most situations-- that she lacks emotional intelligence. She requires a lot of catering to, needs a lot of attention, and takes no responsibility for anything. The pregnancy (first grandbaby on both sides, as well @daniellejaske!) has been especially challenging since mom has a hard time letting me have the spot light. She overshares my pregnancy progress with others, rarely asks how I'm doing with genuity, and is taking it personally that I'm opting for an unmedicated birth (she held onto her epidural for dear life).
  
  I've just had to deal with that fact that pregnancy adds distance between me and my mom more so than closeness. Grieving and coping with that is so unfair and not fun
  
  Your feelings, preferences, and struggles are real and they are heard at least by me!
  
  

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• samibone member

  February 2024

  To everyone here that's posted I'm terribly sorry you all feel so distanced from your mother's. I personally cut my family off years ago with my first born because of toxic abusive behaviors so I understand a lot of what you are feeling. I went through my second pregnancy and now my third with really only my husband , my current kiddos, and my step mom by my side (no I do not speak with my bio dad either and technically my step mom divorced my dad so she's no longer with him either but I still call her my mom). It is hard and to some extent yes it's the hormones we all know how easily we can break down into tears these days over things, BUT if u have tried to communicate with her that her doing those things makes u feel less important or that it hurts you and there has been no change in behavior then yes u have every right to be upset. The only way I'd say u don't is if u havent spoken because then she might not fully be aware she's hurting u. But remember u are growing a whole person, give yourself a break dear. U are accomplishing something that your brother couldn't attempt in his wildest day dreams. And when that baby gets here and u get to hold them in your arms, just know that this is your chance to raise them as best as u can. So even if ur mom doesn't change her ways, u get a chance to be a better mother, to set the example, to show the world and her how mothering really should be done. U got this mommas keep ur heads up. 

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• mom_2b_22 member

  March 2024

  You’re definitely not alone. I’ve learned I have to lower my expectations with my mom but I still find myself disappointed and hurt. Being pregnant has made it worse because I tend to feel more sensitive about everything and have a hard time letting go of any hurtful comments she makes. Unfortunately any time I have told her how her comments make me feel in the past, she always denies she has said anything wrong so it never gets anywhere. I’m sorry you feel more distant than you would like from your mom, especially during this time. I wish I could help but all I can say is you’re definitely not alone. 

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• nken20 member

  March 2024

  You're not alone, dear. I guess the best course of action is to have a heart-to-heart talk with your mom. Sometimes, moms are annoying. Ask her squarely about your concerns and that you don't need her to brag about your older brother. Stay positive. Sending my hugs here.

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• kjarcher87 member

  October 2024

  You aren't alone. My mother is a toxic, controller, manipulative narcissist. I won't play her game anymore and have to set very firm boundaries. Ever since I started showing she keeps touching my stomach and it makes me cringe. I finally got so sick of it that I had to step back and swat her hand away. She gave me a pouting face and my husband had to step in and tell her that I really don't like being touched. He bought me a shirt that says "If you didn't put it there, don't touch it!" I think he's so amazing the way that he is supporting and backing me up. I really don't understand the "nerve" and entitlement of people. I'm pregnant, not a petting zoo! 

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