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December 2024 Moms
BraveheartKitchenSink
member
Abnormal NT Scan
BraveheartKitchenSink
member
Hi All,
Been sitting on this a few days to let it sink in. We had our 12 week NT scan Thursday and everything looked good EXCEPT the NT measurement (fluid behind the neck). It measured 4.95 mm in the 95th percentile. It should be well under 3mm. We did bloodwork the same day and are currently waiting on that (7-10 day turn around time).
I'm 41, almost 42 and have previously had twins about 8 yrs ago after over 5 yrs of infertility and 3 yrs of intense treatment. This baby wasn't planned as we assumed my thyroid was still causing infertility. (My issue was that I would produce follicles, but not actually ovulate and kick the eggs out). At the time we had our twins, my reproductive endocrinologist said I should be an egg donor because thwy were always such high quality eggs, despite being close to 35.
I'm trying to remain glass half full. And it was easier before I looked at the report and saw the actual measurement. Of course, being the nerd I am, I went and looked at the report when it was available in my patient portal to see if it was slightly off or a lot. Unfortunately, it was a lot. So of course I looked up some research studies on the severity of the measurement to see what that does to the odds of something being wrong.
Apparently statistically, 90% of abnormal NT scans turn out to be nothing. But that percentage reduces the higher the percentile of the scan. At 95-99 percentile, it becomes a 50/50 chance of something being wrong. I'm trying to focus on the good news: nasal bone was visible, brain looked ok, and so did the heart. But I'm a lot more stressed and a lot less confident at this point.
If you are the praying type, please pray that this baby is OK. And that if it doesn't make it my kids will handle the loss OK. My biggest fear right now is that it is downsyndrome or something that will be a lifelong disability. My mom is very much in favor of termination of anything that is even slightly imperfect or unwanted. She can be very harsh and crass about it. She's the type that will say something like, "You should have aborted it" until her dying breath - even in front of a mother or the affected child. And I simply don't want to hear it because I'm not about to play God. In my opinion, I'm a flawed fallible human who has no right to decide who lives or dies. If nature runs it's course and the pregnancy ends itself, I'm OK with that too. In other words, I will more than accept whichever outcome fate has in store. I just am having a hard time looking at a potential future where a child is treated differently by their own family because they have a handicap.
As if Im not atressed enough, playing fovorites by the grand parents is weighing very heavily on my mind this time. My mom already plays favorites. She favors my kids over my brother's and my in-laws play faves with my SIL's kids over my own. My in-laws are also vehemently team pink and announced at the dining table on Thanksgiving in front of God and everyone before even congratulating their son (who's previous wife and child died in childbirth), "that if they aren't girls, they don't want them." Needless to say they treat my twin boys different and haven't spent a single holiday with them since they were born. And they are already "certain" it's a girl. (I hate to break it to them, but I had an inkling it was a boy and asked the ultrasound tech to look at the nub for us. It was standing straight up, so most likely a boy (that will also come back in the bloodwork we are waiting on). My heart aches at the thought of a boy with a handicap on top of it. He would basically be ostracized by all of his grandparents. Where a girl would probably be fawned over, spoiled, and blatantly treated better in front of my older kids.
I feel like there's no good outcome for the family dynamic. So I'm just praying like crazy for a healthy baby or maybe a simple heart condition that can be surgically corrected after birth. We have only told close friends and family at this point and havent told family AT ALL about the abnormal scan. So I don't even have many people to talk to.
Thanks for letting me vent! If you've had a previous high risk, high percentile NT scan that turned out to be nothing in a previous pregnancy, I would love to hear it. I need positive thoughts right now.
Been sitting on this a few days to let it sink in. We had our 12 week NT scan Thursday and everything looked good EXCEPT the NT measurement (fluid behind the neck). It measured 4.95 mm in the 95th percentile. It should be well under 3mm. We did bloodwork the same day and are currently waiting on that (7-10 day turn around time).
I'm 41, almost 42 and have previously had twins about 8 yrs ago after over 5 yrs of infertility and 3 yrs of intense treatment. This baby wasn't planned as we assumed my thyroid was still causing infertility. (My issue was that I would produce follicles, but not actually ovulate and kick the eggs out). At the time we had our twins, my reproductive endocrinologist said I should be an egg donor because thwy were always such high quality eggs, despite being close to 35.
I'm trying to remain glass half full. And it was easier before I looked at the report and saw the actual measurement. Of course, being the nerd I am, I went and looked at the report when it was available in my patient portal to see if it was slightly off or a lot. Unfortunately, it was a lot. So of course I looked up some research studies on the severity of the measurement to see what that does to the odds of something being wrong.
Apparently statistically, 90% of abnormal NT scans turn out to be nothing. But that percentage reduces the higher the percentile of the scan. At 95-99 percentile, it becomes a 50/50 chance of something being wrong. I'm trying to focus on the good news: nasal bone was visible, brain looked ok, and so did the heart. But I'm a lot more stressed and a lot less confident at this point.
If you are the praying type, please pray that this baby is OK. And that if it doesn't make it my kids will handle the loss OK. My biggest fear right now is that it is downsyndrome or something that will be a lifelong disability. My mom is very much in favor of termination of anything that is even slightly imperfect or unwanted. She can be very harsh and crass about it. She's the type that will say something like, "You should have aborted it" until her dying breath - even in front of a mother or the affected child. And I simply don't want to hear it because I'm not about to play God. In my opinion, I'm a flawed fallible human who has no right to decide who lives or dies. If nature runs it's course and the pregnancy ends itself, I'm OK with that too. In other words, I will more than accept whichever outcome fate has in store. I just am having a hard time looking at a potential future where a child is treated differently by their own family because they have a handicap.
As if Im not atressed enough, playing fovorites by the grand parents is weighing very heavily on my mind this time. My mom already plays favorites. She favors my kids over my brother's and my in-laws play faves with my SIL's kids over my own. My in-laws are also vehemently team pink and announced at the dining table on Thanksgiving in front of God and everyone before even congratulating their son (who's previous wife and child died in childbirth), "that if they aren't girls, they don't want them." Needless to say they treat my twin boys different and haven't spent a single holiday with them since they were born. And they are already "certain" it's a girl. (I hate to break it to them, but I had an inkling it was a boy and asked the ultrasound tech to look at the nub for us. It was standing straight up, so most likely a boy (that will also come back in the bloodwork we are waiting on). My heart aches at the thought of a boy with a handicap on top of it. He would basically be ostracized by all of his grandparents. Where a girl would probably be fawned over, spoiled, and blatantly treated better in front of my older kids.
I feel like there's no good outcome for the family dynamic. So I'm just praying like crazy for a healthy baby or maybe a simple heart condition that can be surgically corrected after birth. We have only told close friends and family at this point and havent told family AT ALL about the abnormal scan. So I don't even have many people to talk to.
Thanks for letting me vent! If you've had a previous high risk, high percentile NT scan that turned out to be nothing in a previous pregnancy, I would love to hear it. I need positive thoughts right now.
Re: Abnormal NT Scan
Try to not stress to much and wait until you can review the results of the screenings with your doctor. Also, even in the case of being high risk for any chromosomal anomaly, that doesn't mean the chromosomal anomaly is actually present.
If you are high risk for any chromosomal anomaly, the doctor will probably offer you to do an amniocentesis to be able to diagnose it properly, because NT measurement is only an indicator that something could be wrong, but it doesn't mean that something is wrong. So there are still a few steps before even thinking of continuing or termitating the pregnancy. I do hope and wish that your baby is okay.
This might sound a bit harsh, but your family sounds atrocious. Down syndrome or not, I wouldn't let my kids spent time with people who don't value them. Children don't need grandparents who hoped they were something else, they only need loving adults who really care for them.
As for family, yeah. They kinda are. Mostly just the grandparents. I have a great relationship with my brothers wife and her family and they are incredibly supportive, helpful, etc. And our boys are super close as cousins and love eachother madly. My husband likes to say his parents mean well but say stupid crap. But honestly they are that southern type that will say, "Bless your heart" with a smile on their face basically calling you an idiot, are offended by anything and everything, and are paranoid about the sky falling and the world being out to get them. My mom is mostly just angry and bitter. She's very naive and was abused and taken advantage of by her former husband's. So now she hates everyone since she can't trust anyone (or in my opinion trust herself to pick good people to be around). She is close with my boys and often house sits. But the older she gets the more cantankerous she gets. So she stresses me out more and more and because of that we have her over a lot less than we used to. But she is a little too vocal about her views on abortion, always finding a way to bring it up even in situations that have nothing to do with it. (One major reason she stresses me out: we have very different social and political views and she just can't seem to leave well enough alone and not bring up things that are divisive. My bestie and I are complete opposites this way, but respect eachother enough not to not make everything a hostile debate or make nasty comments... or even really discuss politics very often at all.) But yes. You are right. Luckily, my in-laws spend most of their time in TX these days and only come back for a few months at a time. If that. So they aren't around that much anymore for me to have to deal with the constant side jabs. Although they did kick off on the girl crap again this time when we told them. Luckily they didn't say anything about "not wanting" a boy like they did last time. I was afraid they would say something like that in front of the boys and make them question if they were wanted. They do have the boys over for the night a couple times a year and pretty much jist try to buy their love, which I hate. But it has not gone unnoticed by the boys that Nina and Papa aren't ever around for Thanksgiving and Christmas.
I won't be terminating anything unless my life is endanger. It might sound cruel or irrational to some. But my twin boys are my priority right now. All that matters to me is that my boys have their mom when this is over. Another sibling, even with disabilities, is a bonus. It feels weird to say I'm not attached to either outcome. But I feel like mother nature will work itself out and what is meant to be will be and that is that. I'm just not looking forward to the nasty comments or favoritism that will result if there is a problem or if it is a girl. Or both.
And I absolutely hate being in limbo. I think that is the worst part. I just want answers so we can move forward knowing what we are dealing with.
You sound like a thoughtful, caring and patient mom but don’t forget to tap into the protective, assertive, and boundary-setting side of motherhood. Right now, you need to take care of yourself first and give space to deal with your feelings of anxiety, fear, and the general discomfort and vulnerability of carrying life.
Me: 31 DH: 34
Married 11/09/2013
LO#1: LMP 09/14/2014 BFP 10/15/2014 EDD 06/24/2015 DS Born 06/14/2015
LO#2: LMP 09/18/2016 BFP 10/19/2016 EDD 06/27/2017 DD Born 06/27/2017
LO#3: LMP 05/16/2018 BFP 06/18/2018 EDD 02/20/2019
With my his parents it's a little more tricky because they are so easily offended and he tends to not want to rock the boat. I am the less diplomatic one between the 2 of us. Ie: they are so conservative and uptight they get offended if I have a glass of wine in my own house (obviously not while pregnant) and will leave. But they also don't seem to realize how what they say is or could be considered offensive. Unlike my mom who often knows she's being offensive in some cases, but doesn't care and even likes pushing buttons I think some days. His parents think they are perfect and why wouldn't anyone think what they think, right? 🫠 Early on when my kids were born I kind of lost it on them and basically said they couldn't see the babies until I got an apology. They learned quickly where the boundary was and it was basically not to show up without clearing it with me first, come in my home, and essentially take my babies and not listen when told the schedule; not let me feed on time, not let me get them to bed so they could keep holding them, essentially treating them like a new toy instead of a newborn that needs food and sleep and to not be over stimulated, and to stop dismissing me when I tell them it's time to do XYZ or leave. I had a rough c-section recovery and they had the audacity to come over under the guise of "helping", then expect me to make dinner and wait on them when I wasn't even able to stand upright yet. After a time or two of that I lost it and went scorched earth. Hubs said it was astounding that I actually got the apology after a few months because his parents never apologized to him or anyone ever about anything before. Might be because hubs lost his first wife and child in childbirth amd they feared losing more grandkids in another way. Or maybe it was the first time anyone ever really atood up to them? I dont know. But it worked. This time I've made it clear that no one is coming to the hospital or over to our house and feeling entitled to be here to see the baby until I'm good and ready and recovered. Especially since I now know their "help" means making more work for a recovering momma.
So yeah, it's been a long several years setting boundaries and putting my foot down and rocking the boat. But this time I'm less willing to go along with stuff just because my husband is on edge having a wife in a precarious position. I told him this time around that no one is coming to the hospital to see the baby except our own kids. And if he even so much as over packs the recovery room with his laptops and electronics and crap that I'll kick him out, too. 🤣😬💯 But really. I am not putting up with being considered a side show or what I want dismissed this time. I just have zero tolerance for unnecessary stress or BS this time. I missed out on a lot of firsts with my twins because it was so chaotic and I'm not willing to do that again.
The results came in today. It was a boy... Is a boy. It also showed theres a 95% chance that it has down syndrome. I've been spotting since my NT scan last week. And am in a lot of pain, have been barely able to walk since the scan. But I am not feeling certain this bean will make it. I have an appointment at 11 with my doc tomorrow for a CVS. But I feel like this may be why I've been spotting off and on constantly since about 6 weeks. I think my body is trying to terminate it on its own. And I hate to admit it, I knew from the moment the line turned pink something was wrong. I just mistakenly assumed it was with me. I could use a lot of prayers. I feel like there is really no good outcome for us, whether the baby makes it to term or not.