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November 2024 Moms
mandyyoh
member
Work Issues
mandyyoh
member
This might be more of a rant than a discussion but if anyone has/ is going through something similar I could use some support.
I work full time and I’m really struggling to put on a happy face lately. It’s a very stressful job in general (Business/ HR Manager) and lately it feels like the weight of the company is on my shoulders. I’m extra stressed, and extremely overworked. And on top of that- I’m growing a human. Which brings me to my main point of discussion: Ever since people at work found out I’m pregnant, they have been treating me a lot different. For example, a few of my employees poked into my office today and told me that I’m in a “bad mood” JUST BECAUSE I’m pregnant. Or they will say things like “well she’s pregnant so…” Does anyone else get bothered by things like this? It’s almost like when my mom used to tell me, “you’re PMSing” when I was on my period. It’s just extremely insensitive and makes me feel like I’m a crazy person for having emotions. Anyone else?
I work full time and I’m really struggling to put on a happy face lately. It’s a very stressful job in general (Business/ HR Manager) and lately it feels like the weight of the company is on my shoulders. I’m extra stressed, and extremely overworked. And on top of that- I’m growing a human. Which brings me to my main point of discussion: Ever since people at work found out I’m pregnant, they have been treating me a lot different. For example, a few of my employees poked into my office today and told me that I’m in a “bad mood” JUST BECAUSE I’m pregnant. Or they will say things like “well she’s pregnant so…” Does anyone else get bothered by things like this? It’s almost like when my mom used to tell me, “you’re PMSing” when I was on my period. It’s just extremely insensitive and makes me feel like I’m a crazy person for having emotions. Anyone else?
Re: Work Issues
I’d start recording every time someone made a comment like that. It’s flat out discrimination. I’d take it to HR but… if you’re HR I don’t know how that works! How does an HR person report HR issues?
The only thing that someone did at work that pissed me off was assuming that since I’m pregnant with my third, I won’t be coming back after mat leave. Completely ridiculous, especially coming from someone who has three little kids himself, and his wife works full time. I cleared that up quickly and he apologized for making that assumption at least.
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
I ask myself that question all the time- who does HR go to when they have an HR concern? My boss is a man, and a very non understanding one at that. So if I go to him he will probably just agree with what everyone else said about me being however I am “because I’m pregnant” but probably won’t admit to it. I feel like I’m stuck.
And I hate that too— although at this point they’re probably correct and I won’t come back after mat leave. Lol. I would have said “it’s none of your business what I do”. You probably handled it better than I!!
When I found out I was pregnant, I had to decide whether to stay working where I was (building houses on remote island) or find something *easier* and safer...my main reason for staying was because I'd worked with these four guys for a couple of years and knew they might be awkward at times and totally not get it (my 24 year old lead thought I was 7 months pregnant and gestation was 12 months 😳) but that they would be supportive and kind. And they are. Even the other day when I had to go off into the woods and bawl my eyes out because I was frustrated at the task and it was 25 degrees.
What we are doing is damn difficult. Even if we have an easy pregnancy, you're right, we are building a whole human being! The least of what we deserve is compassion and respect and it sucks balls that those are missing in your workplace. I hope it gets better, or you find a place that deserves you and your strengths.