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January 2025 Babies
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Dodging questions about about being pregnant

fk18fk18 member
in January 2025 Babies
Hey ladies! This weekend I have a belated birthday dinner with 3 girlfriends from college. I love them to pieces but I’m not ready to tell them I’m pregnant; I’m only a little more than 6 weeks and if I tell them, I know they will probably tell a much wider network and I just don’t feel comfortable with that. 

They will no doubt notice when I don’t order a marg at the trendy Mexican restaurant we are going to in this context; I wasn’t a big drinker pre-pregnancy, but I always had 1. (Btw none of them have babies/are pregnant).

If/when I’m asked the dreaded question of whether I’m pregnant or why I’m not drinking, what do you guys suggest? What has worked for others in this situation?? 

I’m so grateful to have this community to talk to about this stuff :)
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Re: Dodging questions about about being pregnant

  • ajrose1213ajrose1213 member
    You can always "go to the bathroom" but stop your waiter and let them know you want virgin drinks...and explain that no one in your party needs to know your situation.
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  • knottie1c2f4af2bd59a1a3knottie1c2f4af2bd59a1a3 Newbie
    It's a really hard one I'm in a similar position. You could try to come up with an excuse like antibiotics, picking up partner from train station/airport etc.
    I managed to get away with it as we both said we were cutting alcohol down and we'd drunk alcohol the day before (I've also been vocal on not really drinking much since the turn of the year).
    If they do ask a direct question, I think its fair to state that you don't feel comfortable answering that question which makes them feel awkward.
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  • lizzzy217lizzzy217 member
    I think most bartenders/waiters would understand, it's probably something they've dealt with before. If you can find a way to tell them discreetly that would be best.
    I had a similar situation early in my pregnancy, and the bartender offered to make me a sprite/club soda mix and put a little lime in it to make it convincing. It worked, and the hardest part was drinking it slowly enough to convince people it was alcoholic lol.
    You can also check to see if there's a menu with non-alcoholic mocktails that you can order, that way you can just say the name of the drink instead of asking for something non-alcoholic specifically. The only issue with this is that every time I've ordered a non-alcoholic drink the waiter has loudly informed me that "this drink doesn't have alcohol, is that okay?" and it's literally the least subtle thing ever lol.
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  • lizzzy217lizzzy217 member
    Oh I also wanted to add that I didn't end up telling people I was pregnant until I was in the 2nd trimester, so I was like 14-15wks when I started telling people. So I had multiple occasions where I hung out with friends/family and didn't drink, and no one ever asked why I wasn't drinking.
    But after I started telling people, I literally had so many people tell me they were suspecting it because they noticed I hadn't been drinking! I thought I was so subtle, I didn't realize so many people were paying such close attention lmaooo. "I thought it was weird you didn't get a mimosa at brunch", "I noticed you only got iced tea at the thai restaurant", "You didn't do shots with us at the superbowl party", "you only got a soda at the baseball game"
    Like I don't really drink that often and I never do shots so like wtf ahaha. So I think it's possible that no matter how subtle you are your friends might notice anyway and just not say anything.
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  • kmtz89kmtz89 member
    Using the antibiotics excuse is an easy one I think, like order a soda or whatever and IF they ask just say oh I'm on antibiotics. Generally people don't ask more questions about that.

    Also isn't it weird how much other people notice what you are or aren't drinking? 
    *American in Tanzania, East Africa, since 2013
    DH - Tanzanian
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  • knottiee8151abf52f94543knottiee8151abf52f94543 member
    I have been a server/bartender for years and I’ve had several new moms do something like this! Or arrive early and let your waiter know :)
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  • sweet-16sweet-16 member
    I’d go with that you’re on antibiotics.
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