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November 2024 Moms
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Body after baby anxiety

knottieec1c5dc5c186fcadknottieec1c5dc5c186fcad member
in November 2024 Moms
How you deal with the knowledge that your body is never going to look the same again? I know this seems incredibly shallow and I've been told by every mother in my life that "it's natural and healthy and blah blah blah" but like mentally , how do you deal with it? I am having daily anxiety about my boyfriend not finding me attractive after the baby.... and despite him saying "it's genetic and your mom still wears a size 2" I just can't cope. I'm having full blown meltdowns every morning when I look in the mirror.... I'm doing everything they say to do , I'm lightly exercising , I'm rubbing all the butters and oils over my entire body everyday to prevent stretch marks , I'm eating the healthiest I've ever eaten , I'm drinking 60 ounces of water a day. My skin still looks dull , and I'm terrified that I just won't be able to ever get my body back. I was a professional model in my 20s and have always been extremely critical of my body, and 'gone without' for the sake of keeping my figure at sample size.... and I just think the stress of imagining I won't ever be able to wear the clothes I wore before baby to be too much. And I know the stress isn't good for my baby , and that terrifies me even more.... I can't be putting all this bad energy into my growing child , I can't ever imagine bringing a child into this world and having any resentment towards him/her for selfish reasons like my stomach doesn't look the same and my boobs are flat. ..... I just I don't know if I'm ready to give up my self confidence for the rest of my life. 😔
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Re: Body after baby anxiety

  • cornichonmamcornichonmam member
    Things definitely do change but I haven't found it as bad as many make out. I think a lot is what you do afterwards, having a good exercise regime to rebuild your core is really important. See 'get mom strong' on Instagram she made an amazing transformation after having her twins.

    But it takes time for your body and skin to heal. As much as 2 years. It can take months to get your waist back to the size it was pre pregnancy even if you didn't gain a pound. 

    There are a lot of cosmetic options too, if that's what you want to do. I did at home microneedleing on my stomach after baby number 2 and it really helped improve my stretch marks. Mine weren't that bad lots of small fine ones but 3 large ones that were sore because the skin was so thin, even after pregnancy. But they are so much better now and the skin has even got thicker. Even the general laxity I my skin is much better after 3 years. 

    Don't be too hard on yourself. You should be aiming to eat well. You're growing a baby and the baby will take what it needs and leave you deficient if you don't get enough nutrients and calories. Which will only slow down your post partum recovery. 
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  • MrsCaliRNMrsCaliRN member
    I 100% agree with @cornichonmam and also want to point out that your body’s going to change regardless of whether you carry a baby or not. That’s life. 

    I’ve had 3 babies and am currently working on my 4th and have returned to being a hottie after each kid with exercise and sensible eating. 

    The good news is it sounds like you have the genes for being smaller (I didn’t and had to work my a%% off even harder against genetics) but it’s doable. I’m also happy to know that medical-surgical interventions are there if I want them. 

    Finally, I recommend telling your OB about any past unhealthy weight control things you’ve done because those have a way of resurfacing during pregnancy and postpartum and they’ll just make you feel worse; think: depression, body dysmorphia, poor nutrition, the list goes on. You deserve to be FULLY content and not have these intrusive, negative thoughts about the inevitable body changes that happen with life! 

    Finally, kudos to you for bringing up something that MANY of us deal with. You’re already a great mom and a great example of an honest and brave human. 

    Me: 31         DH: 34
    Married 11/09/2013
    LO#1: LMP 09/14/2014  BFP 10/15/2014  EDD 06/24/2015  DS Born 06/14/2015
    LO#2: LMP 09/18/2016  BFP 10/19/2016  EDD 06/27/2017 DD Born 06/27/2017
    LO#3: LMP 05/16/2018  BFP 06/18/2018  EDD 02/20/2019

      
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  • lizzzy217lizzzy217 member
    Just want to add that I appreciate all the feedback as well :)  I'm a FTM and this is something that's been bothering me at the back of my mind too, and it does feel like such a petty thing to worry about, but it's also true that so much our perceptions of ourselves and our mental health are tied up with our appearance, even though we all know it probably shouldn't be.
    I think the part that's scary about it is just the unknown. We know our bodies will change, but how? How much weight will we gain? How much will our skin stretch? How big will we get? How will our breasts change after months of breast feeding?
    I feel like the anxiety is just coming from the unknown itself, and that once it actually happens, then hopefully I'll see it as just a problem to begin tackling and I'll have more control to be able to start addressing the things that concern me.
    I've also been telling myself that I'm going to eat well and work out and get back in shape as soon as possible, but how possible will that actually be once I have a baby to take care of? I feel determined to do it, but taking care of the baby is more important, and I'll probably be exhausted and maybe not want to work out in my spare time?
    I think/hope that all of this is just worse in my head than it'll actually end up being though.
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