What no one talks about during labor and delivery

Woah! I really just birthed a whole other life form. 
My precious baby boy came into the world days ago. I've been reflecting on my own expectations of the main event (first time mom tho so I really was just winging it.) 

First id like to say that social media is a dangerous place for advice. Yet we are all guilty of Googling every question we might have, every myth, every statistic. Especially whenever I became pregnant I GOOGLED EVERYTHING. and then it seems that tik tok was picking up on my new video interests. Yup. Every mom hack, baby hack, what to pack what to buy, you need this and oh no don't buy that. This is toxic and vaccines are bad. 

WE ALL HAVE OUR OPINIONS and as mamas we need to trust our OWN INSTINCTS. 

I was very fortunate to have a good healthy pregnancy. Carried my babe for 40 weeks and 4 days. Technically 5 days during labor? 🤷‍♀️
After spending 4 days in labor and delivery and having a few days of recovery im thinking back on all the things no one tells you about. 

First pet peeve. The cute robe to wear during labor. NO. You wear the gown provided because girl its gonna get all kinds of "goo" on it. Blood, fluid, sweat, tears you name it and its on your gown. You can wait and wear your cutesie robe later but hospitals are cold and oversized sweatpants were calling my name by the time we got to recovery. 

You can try to plan your delivery but ultimately its up to your body (at which point you can't control) and the baby. I had SO many people asking about my birth plan.  I always felt bad or like I was wrong to not have one. I asked a friend for a copy of theirs as an example and man it was demanding. But it also allowed that mama to experience everything she wanted too. 

Me? I'm okay i don't need to see or feel the babys head crowning. 
Dim the lights? I can understand and liked during laboring but if that doctor needs better lighting to take care of me then so be it. Turn on the stadium lights.
As for everything else you really can't control it. Your body takes over and everyone around you has done this way more than you have. You gotta have trust in them.

Epidural vs no epidural? Trust me I tried and failed. At 7cm (for four hours only to find out i progressed to 7.5cm) I NEEDED IT and thank God because I was still in labor for 12 more hours. There is no gold medal for not getting an epidural.  Its available to help you and it should be more accepted. After I got it I was able to SLEEP. Not just rest. But literally sleep. Which is what your body needs to relax so baby relaxes and for your body to prepare to deliver. Do you think athletes perform with no sleep? I doubt it. 
Side note after you have an epidural someone else has to pee for you. Literally a catheter and it drains your bladder while your knees are sitting froggy style in the room. Probably the most vulnerable I felt. But if you have amazing nurses (like I did) it wasn't that bad. 

Now let's talk about all the drainage. Or all the leaking. All the goo that you feel come out of your body and onto a puppy pad that needs changed probably every hour. Gross. You just feel gross. I hope you're wearing your issued hospital gown and not your cute robe lol

Okay fast forward to the pushing process you literally just do the damn thing and poof you have a beautiful baby in your arms! 

Tik tok showed me all of these amazing positions to try out but in reality that wasn't the case for us. It happened so fast and people are holding you and coaching you to push so you listen and get that baby out. 

Fast forward to recovery. SHOWER. GET A SHOWER THE MINUTE YOURE FEELING UP FOR IT. it may not be the same day you deliver your baby but that second day make it happen. It was a game changer. 

AI packed my hair dryer, straightener and makeup. The only things I used were my hair brush and face moisturizer. So I over packed there. Slippers YES.  Warm socks. Not the fuzzy socks we get every year for Christmas from a coworker.  Like wool cabin socks. Clothing for me I could deal with. Clothing for my hubby I jusy packed him sweats and a fresh t shirt. He went home after thr baby was born to handle the dogs so he could change then. For the baby? I packed a few options and im glad I did. I didn't realize you can dress your baby in whatever (at my hospital. Some may be different due to security policies). I wish I had taken more onesies and sleepers. The hospital shirts just weren't it. 

Pack snacks... if you want too. But thats just something else to carry. Hospital rooms don't have refrigerators lol and the space is limited. I was constantly cleaning up our room (I hate clutter). And people like to bring you gifts when they visit (so sweet) but then you gotta take it with you. The Hospital gives you a bag full of goodies and don't forget all your sample hygiene things to clean your bottom and all the baby diapers and formula and whatever else the hospital opened for your little one because it goes with you too. Got flowers? How the hell are we gonna carry all this? My husband made a few trips to the car lol which makes discharge take even longer. 

So don't go overboard packing from the start. Hospital bag is mainly just comfy clothes for you and hubby.... maybe a spare for you (i bleed through my pants one night) and cute picture taking clothes with some spare onsies and sleepers for babe. 

How about all the cute labeled bags you see on tik tok? Seriously lol you're about to not work for months. Save your money. Just use zip lock baggies and shove it in a suit case. With WHEELS. 

Let's talk visitors and boundaries. 
Don't feel bad for asking for a few hours after baby is born to spend time with your new family and to REST. I asked for 2 hours and honestly could have asked for 3 lol I sent out a message to our parents letting them know there was no obligation to come to the hospital before baby was born. My parents unfortunately didn't care and spent the first 10 hours of my labor at the hospital.  They kept coming in and out of my labor room meanwhile im trying to give birth. Like no. My dad got the hint and my mother eventually followed. My in laws kept there space and I am very grateful for that (until baby was born lol they visited every day after that). Thats what parents and grandparents do tho. They worry and they get excited. So don't be mad if they are a lot to handle. Get someone to voice your boundaries for you. Also get someone to send out updates to everyone. Especially during a long labor. My sister was in my room with me and she was my voice. My husband didn't know what to do until he was told to do it. I think its a man thing to not want to be in the way of girl things. 

In the end its ALL worth it of course. But man was I was not expecting half of what i experienced.