July 2024 Moms

Torn about leaving my job

I am fortunate to be in a position where leaving my job or transitioning to part time are both viable options for our family. This is my first baby and neither myself nor my husband were ever in daycare. However, I am very much struggling with the idea of leaving my position at work. I am an assistant director of development and marketing at a fairly large local nonprofit. I have been with this non profit for 4 years and absolutely love my job. I am having a very difficult time imagining my life without my career, but also don’t want to put my child in daycare and miss out on all the joys of being home with her. I would love to hear others experiences with this dilemma. 

Re: Torn about leaving my job

  • This really resonates with me. I’m going to be making a similar decision regarding work, but it’s just complicated. On one end, I’ve associated so much of my identity with my achievements and my work that to separate from that feels really extreme and foreign. I also love what I do (I’m a physical therapist) and I know I help people in a lot of ways. I have the option of part time, but I won’t be doing that in the beginning at the very least. And we also feel strongly about not sending our child to daycare when I have the ability to stay home.

    It’s hard. I feel like for so much of my life I’ve been told that I can do anything, be anything, achieve anything. And I’ve held onto that idea simply because I was capable of performing well. I thought my performance spoke so much to my character.

    But, I also know that my family is more important than anything I can be doing. My children are more important than my patients, and the way I raise my children will touch many people indirectly. It doesn’t mean it’s not hard for me. I think with any big decision, any big sacrifice of the self comes sadness and difficulty. It’s a real separation from a former self, or a former way of defining the self. I also would be remiss to not say that I still care about others’ perception of me. 

    I’m hoping that the arrival of this baby will do a lot to quell my concerns and will put a lot in perspective, but for now it’s hard. I have good days and bad days with it all. It’s also just hard to imagine a life that we don’t yet know. All that is to say, I feel you friend. ❤️
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  • Beautifully said! It’s reassuring to know others are feeling the same way and makes me feel less alone and less selfish honestly. Thank you 🥰
  • I don't have the option to stay home as we need both incomes. I would love to stay home with my children when they are young if I could have. We've always used small daycares or family friends who have a sahm and kids the same age as ours so our kids get lots of playtime and love going to see their friends. I am a teacher, and I will say after being home all summer breaking up fights amongst my older kids, come September I'm ready for them to go back to school and not fight with each other. 
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