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Weird Situation but all Good

knottieaf4381382d10cc28knottieaf4381382d10cc28 Newbie
in 1st Trimester
My single best friend was desperate for her first child. After much discussion, my husband and I said he would donate for her IVF. It worked and she is almost 3 months along. We already have 3 children. Here is the weird part. I am pregnant now too. 7 weeks. I am having huge second thoughts about agreeing to donate. It feels like it is taking away form this pregnancy. I want all the best for her and her baby but I cannot escape these feelings. It does not help that my husband thinks he is some kind of superman. I even overheard him comment to a friend about his baby mamas. Any advice is appreciated.
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Re: Weird Situation but all Good

  • dpjenniferdpjennifer member
    knottieaf4381382d10cc28 said:
    My single best friend was desperate for her first child. After much discussion, my husband and I said he would donate for her IVF. It worked and she is almost 3 months along. We already have 3 children. Here is the weird part. I am pregnant now too. 7 weeks. I am having huge second thoughts about agreeing to donate. It feels like it is taking away form this pregnancy. I want all the best for her and her baby but I cannot escape these feelings. It does not help that my husband thinks he is some kind of superman. I even overheard him comment to a friend about his baby mamas. Any advice is appreciated.
    You agreed to donate and it's too late to take it back now.  I'm going to chalk your entire post and life up to PG hormones right now, because there's no other way I can handle this post.  I'm sorry that your friend's desperation to have her FIRST baby through IVF (which is expensive as h*ll) is taking away from your FOURTH freaking living child.  But you need to sit down and read up on the terrible situations people encounter trying to have children of their own, and then quietly meditate on your own feelings, and either talk to a counselor or keep that shiznit inside. I'm going to make some assumptions here, but I'm guessing that your IVF/IF/RPL friend has probably supported ALL of your PGs in the past (which is why you've donated your genetic material to her) and is a fantastically amazing friend.  She supported your THREE previous PG, even though she was probably dying inside every freaking day wondering why it wasn't HER and why it's never been HER.  So... please... take a look at the actual terrible things in teh world around you and then STFU and be supportive to your friend.

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)

    RE #3: More testing 2023. 
    Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
    Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
    Lupron Depo March 2024.  Benched 3 months.

    FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)

    Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.

    FET #2: September 2024 (failed)

    FET #3: December 2024 (failed)

    #BitterHagPartyOf1

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