Dad can't handle 3 year old

Re: Dad can't handle 3 year old

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  Izzy+1991 member

  June 2023

  I have the very same problem with my youngest son and my mother - she can handle the bigger ones easily but is unable to deal with our youngest. After watching them talking and playing with each other I actually found out that they resemble each other a lot. So I tried to connect all the similarities between them. Maybe it helps you a little...it helped us a lot

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  knottie4030763df97ba78d member

  February 24

  My husband used to have this problem with our daughter. I’m a stay at home mom and I found that a lot of the time I wasn’t allowing him to parent without undermining him or trying to teach him how it should be done in front of her. This led to her thinking I was in charge and dad was not. Maybe try to do some self reflection too.. it was really difficult for me to realize and address but I’m so glad I did- their relationship is amazing now. Try to think of if you let him set boundaries when you’re around. Do you back up what he says or correct him if he’s not doing things exactly as you do? Do you do the majority of parenting and is he interested in doing more of that? My daughter used to throw fits when my husband tried to put her to bed because I did it all the time and she only wanted me. He decided he wanted to switch off every other day with me so she would stop this behavior. The first week was awful for him and I wanted so badly to go upstairs and just take over but he insisted he needed to do this and me interrupting wasn’t helpful, it was undermining him. I stepped back and let him do it and now she loves her daddy putting her to bed. He doesn’t do it like me, they have their own fun games during bedtime and it’s awesome. I think sometimes as mothers we don’t include our husbands in parental decision the way we maybe should and are quick to correct instead of having private conversations about how we would’ve reacted to situations and let them learn in the moment and support them as an equal authority in the household. For me, when my husband handles something in a way I disagree with, I take a mental note and bring it up later away from the kids where he’s more able to receive it and my kids won’t read into it. In the moment, if he’s handling a situation I will support him and say, you need to respect your father and do as he says. We obviously have some parental understands though. For instance, I do not agree with spanking and prefer a gentle parenting approach. My husband agreed to this method so we both practice this and are graceful with one another if we raise our voice when we shouldn’t have or don’t do it quite as we should. We discuss later or ask if they need a moment to calm down rather than correcting each other. I don’t know if this is the cause of the problem you’re having but I know it was the root of it for me. 

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