I need a womens perspective on a mans problem

Re: I need a womens perspective on a mans problem

• HGRich member

  January 2024

  Sounds like you need to talk to her about it. If she’s got shame around it then you need to be gracious about it while expressing that you’re hurt. A third party like a therapist or sex therapist can’t hurt. But given that she’s pregnant maybe she’s going through hormonal things she doesn’t know how to express. It’s ok to be hurt, and even feel betrayed. (Unless you do the same thing to her when she’s not in the mood.) But you’re going to have to be ultra gracious with her and figure it out together. Healthy sexual expression that doesn’t demand or expect or exploit or deprive either of you is the goal, for both of you.  

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• knottie84c3a2202b82f87e member

  January 2024

  From a woman's perspective, pregnancy brings a lots of physical and emotional changes that can significantly impact one's sexual desire and expression. It's possible that your partner is experiencing fluctuations in her libido, where the idea of intercourse might feel overwhelming or uncomfortable due to pregnancy-related discomforts, but she still has sexual needs that she's trying to navigate privately. The secrecy might stem from feelings of guilt, confusion, or even shame, especially considering her background and the complex dynamics of intimacy during pregnancy.
  
  It's also important to consider that her method of achieving sexual satisfaction during this time might be more about seeking comfort and control over her body, which is undergoing so many changes, rather than about a reluctance to share intimacy with you. Communication is key in any relationship, especially regarding matters of intimacy. It might be beneficial to approach the subject gently and from a place of understanding and support, rather than confrontation. Express your feelings without attributing blame and share your desires for a shared intimacy, recognizing that this intimacy can take many forms.

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• louloumama member

  January 2024

  My hot take- let it go. It’s not about you. She’s pregnant and doing her best to feel better. Sex with another person can be wonderful but also is more demanding physically and emotionally. Her body is a hot mess of symptoms and changes, same with her feelings and mood. It’s not personal if she doesn’t want to have sex with another person but engage in another solo activity. You said she might get embarrassed or whatnot if you bring it up, so why do that to her? She might start to feel ashamed, embarrassed, guilty, etc . Trust everyone who says it’s not personal or about the state of your relationship and just let her be. 

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• knottie1f0e71bf7674261a member

  January 2024 edited January 2024

  I’m also inclined to say Let it go. I can think of a million reasons why she has sex drive but prefers not to have sex right now. Maybe she doesn’t want penetration or even physical touch. Maybe she’s too self conscious of her changing body. Giving one self pleasure is healthy and good. I don’t know what you’ve decided to do, but I wouldn’t bring it up, especially if you think she may carry shame about it. It’s not a problem and even though it might’ve felt that way, it says nothing about you or her desire for you.
  I would focus more on the fact that it’s difficult to have conversations about s3x. There is a great book called Come As You Are that you could both read together. Sex therapist would definitely be a great idea. But whatever you suggest make sure she doesn’t feel pressured.

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