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Loss of attraction for SO

knottie6a9f048ac291e256knottie6a9f048ac291e256 Newbie
in 2nd Trimester
Hello everyone! I just hit my second trimester. Before getting pregnant I was wildly attracted to my SO. I couldn't get enough of him. But, ever since getting pregnant, I can't stand him. When he tries to kiss me, it takes everything in me to not physically cringe...I don't want to hurt his feelings! I was in love with him before, I knew I wanted him to be the father of my child and my kids' stepfather--he treats me so well and after meeting his family I knew I wanted to be a part of his life. How can things change so drastically? Will things go back to normal? My repulsion for him gets so bad sometimes I just think in my head how great it would feel to be single again, but I can't do that to myself or my kids, they love him! Please tell me that I need to just ride this wave, what's going on??
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Re: Loss of attraction for SO

  • AvarenAvaren member
    Hormones. 
    My husband used my deodorant the other day and left a hair on it and I felt so much anger towards this man I wanted to square up... like straight rage. 
    It isn't the deodorant and it isn't about attraction in your case, it's just the hormones messing up our bodies, desires, and emotions. 
    Don't make any rash decisions about the relationship right now, maybe make a list of all the things you do love about him. I'm sure everything will even out in the end. ❤️ 
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  • jevd42jevd42 member
    omg. I thought it was just me. 
    Not this pregnancy. Which might give you some hope, but on my second pregnancy I had this EXACT experience. It was so terrifying and isolating, and indescribable to others. I didn’t understand why this was happening to me and I wanted it so badly to stop, I was so afraid for our future and afraid of feeling stuck in that forever, but I’m here to tell you in my experience, it stopped after baby and never returned again. I went back to normal. Just ride the wave, and trust. This is impermanent. As someone who has been thru literally exactly what you just described and was so afraid, I’m so happy being out of it that I can use that to possibly help you by telling you yes it’s not forever, you will feel your normal attracted to SO self again. Maybe not soon. But it will come. Hope this helps. 
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  • louloumamalouloumama member
    Same. First trimester I had a lot of repulsion and rage. Now i am 22 weeks and that has mostly dissipated but I have zero interest in intimacy or sex. My body feels a bit foreign to me and the idea of sex seems exhausting and just uninteresting. Not sure if it’ll change but after discussing with my therapist I’ve decided to stop feeling guilty or putting pressure on myself to feel differently. 
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