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Pregnancy after loss

sbaby2023sbaby2023 member
in June 2024 Moms
This thread is for supporting those mamas who are pregnant after a previous loss. No TW needed 
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Re: Pregnancy after loss

  • sbaby2023sbaby2023 member
    Want to start this thread because I wanted to express some feelings I am having about my first ultrasound on Wednesday. I am so unbelievably nervous.

    It’s an early one (5w +4d) and I am only doing it because my RI uses the ultrasound to adjust my medication. So I know logically that I probably won’t see much. However I have had 3 previous losses and have found out about these losses at my first ultrasound (they have all been around the 8 week mark). It almost makes me want to cancel the appointment because I don’t want the bad news 
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  • maggiemadeitmaggiemadeit member
    @sbaby2023 I'm sorry you are anxiously awaiting your scan. How stressful, especially considering how early it will be. But if it gives your doctor important information that can help you sustain your pregnancy, that sounds like a good thing. I'll definitely be thinking of you on Wednesday and hoping for the best possible outcome <3

    Not the same situation, but I can relate a little bit. My last loss was a MMC which was discovered at our first ultrasound around 11 weeks. This time we have opted to drive over an hour away to get an earlier ultrasound with the RE, becuase just the thought of going back to that ultrasound room at my regular OBGYN in town puts terror into me. I had to go back again after the D&C to have a follow-up ultrasound for retained tissue, and it was very upsetting just to be in that room again. I'm already so nervous I couldn't bear reliving that moment again in the same place. 10 more days until we see what's what. I'm sure I'll be a complete mess next week, but now just trying to stay positive and "keep the faith" as my husband always says. 
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  • maggiemadeitmaggiemadeit member
    Also, not sure if you are into meditation or mantras, but I’ve been using this one this week and it’s helping me when my mind runs away into the worst possible future scenario (as my mind tends to do): just this breath, just this moment ❤️
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  • sbaby2023sbaby2023 member
    @maggiemadeit yah I get it, luckily my scan is at my RE office whereas my others have been at my OB so I have that going for my anxiety. It’s just hard when every time I go to the Dr it seems to be bad news. I know the scan is suppose to help I just don’t want more bad news. It’s crazy how the mind associates all these things together. 

    I do like that mantra, it’s simple and easy to remember. I will try that these next few days
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  • shandatichelleshandatichelle member
    A couple of you have mentioned an RE office visit. What is that?
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  • maggiemadeitmaggiemadeit member
    @shandatichelle RE is reproductive endocrinologist, and RI is a reproductive immunologist. If you are seeing a fertility doc for treatment and get pregnant they will usually do some early monitoring of the pregnancy.  
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  • maggiemadeitmaggiemadeit member
    @sbaby2023 I’m thinking of you today! ❤️
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  • sbaby2023sbaby2023 member
    edited October 2023
    @maggiemadeit thank you for thinking about me, it means so much. I had my ultrasound today and baby was there measuring a few days early (6 weeks). No heart beat yet but they don’t expect to see that until next week so I am feeling relieved for now 
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  • maggiemadeitmaggiemadeit member
    @sbaby2023 So happy to see this update! When will you back again?
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  • sbaby2023sbaby2023 member
    @maggiemadeit oh wow that is beautiful and such a nice sign after a hard day!! It does not help that we have so many hormones and emotions being pregnant. I have had some insane dreams.

    My next appointment is in a week so 10/25
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  • shandatichelleshandatichelle member
    Thanks Maggie!
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  • farmfamily21farmfamily21 member
    2021 was a very rough year for me. July was diagnosed with PCOS. August had my first miscarriage. November had an ectopic that went bad and I had extreme pain one day, rushed to the ER and come to find out my fallopian tube was about to rupture and I was bleeding internally, had emergency surgery. Spend part of thanksgiving in the hospital. Still have a lot of PTSD from that. This go around my anxiety is through the roof especially if I feel any pain. First ultrasound is this Monday 10/23. 🤞
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  • maggiemadeitmaggiemadeit member
    I’m really sorry you had to go through that @farmfamily21. I relate to that anxiety and I really hope you get good news on Monday! 🤞🏼
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  • sbaby2023sbaby2023 member
    @farmfamily21 that sounds so scary I am sorry you had to go through that. The anxiety is definitely something I have too. I hope your ultrasound today brings you some peace of mind!
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  • maggiemadeitmaggiemadeit member
    Thinking of you today @farmfamily21
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  • mrsc918mrsc918 member
    Glad you got some positive news last week @sbaby2023

    @maggiemadeit what a beautiful double rainbow! 

    @fa@farmfamily21 I'm so sorry you went through that! It definitely sounds like a traumatic experience! Good luck today!! 


    AFM, I have a 3 year old and we started trying for #2 last October. I experienced a chemical pregnancy in January and just got my first positive pregnancy test since then last week. I have been testing every day since to see if the line on the pregnancy test gets darker and I'm still wearing my TempDrop to see if my BBT drops. I don't think either are doing much to help my anxiety so I need to just stop. It's sad that the joy is stolen from this pregnancy due to the previous loss. I wanted to tell my husband in a cute way but bc I got such a faint line again, I just needed his support. I feel like I should be more excited for this pregnancy given we have been trying for so long, but. I'm not. :/ 
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  • farmfamily21farmfamily21 member
    Good news! We saw baby (in the right spot) with a heartbeat!!
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  • mrsc918mrsc918 member
    @farmfamily21just saw your ultrasound photo!! Yay!! 
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  • maggiemadeitmaggiemadeit member
    Great news @farmfamily21!
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  • mrsc918mrsc918 member
    Well I woke up this morning with a big temp drop (I track BBT using TempDrop) and also some light pink twinge of blood after wiping. Wondering if it's another chemical happening. Now I'm debating do I call and ask for HCG series or just give it some time and see what happens. Bleh 
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  • maggiemadeitmaggiemadeit member
    I’m so sorry @mrsc918. I know that spotting can be normal during the early days, but I’m sure that doesn’t make it any easier to see. I’m thinking of you and hoping for the best ❤️
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  • sbaby2023sbaby2023 member
    @mrsc918 I don’t think it hurts to reach out to the Dr but like @maggiemadeit said sometimes spotting can be normal. That said I have had a few days where I have had some light spotting and it’s really freaked me out. I reached out to my Dr and they said they will monitor but it can be normal. I am sorry you are going through this spotting is really hard to deal with 
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  • jrose424jrose424 member
    @mrsc918 I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Spotting is so stressful. I also agree with @sbaby2023, reaching out to your doctor might relieve this stress and it’s something that they can monitor. Hoping for the best ❤️
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  • sbaby2023sbaby2023 member
    Just had my second ultrasound. Baby is measuring 6w3d and had a heartbeat of around 120 bpm. Dr said everything looks good and I’m measuring right on track with my predicted ovulation. However I’m kinda freaking out because last week baby was measuring 6 weeks. The Dr said this early it’s probably due to a slight measurement error and I know I should be excited about the heartbeat but all I can think is my baby isn’t growing right 
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  • maggiemadeitmaggiemadeit member
    @sbaby2023 Oh everything about pregnancy after loss is so damn hard. Even with good news and a heartbeat there is always something to worry about, something to fuel that anxiety. It sounds positive that your doc is not concerned, but of course I understand that doesn’t stop you from being concerned. I hope you can find some peace until your next check knowing that today you are pregnant and your baby’s heart is beating. I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts ❤️
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  • sbaby2023sbaby2023 member
    @maggiemadeit it’s so frustrating I just want to be happy but can’t make myself. That’s what I keep trying to tell myself, right now I am pregnant. Isn’t your first ultrasound coming up? How are you feeling?
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  • maggiemadeitmaggiemadeit member
    @sbaby2023 I understand that feeling of “I should be happy” but I think you have to just give yourself permission to feel how you feel, even if it feels awful. There’s no right or wrong way to feel, especially after everything you’ve been through. 

    My ultrasound is tomorrow morning. I’ve been a wreck this week. My symptoms went from full on throwing up and sleeping all day on Sunday to now barely feeling pregnant at all. I also had a really upsetting dream last night that I was bleeding, and I woke in a panic and went to the bathroom to check. My intuition tells me that it won’t be good news tomorrow, but I won’t know for sure until then, so just trying to let myself have my feelings and also eating ice cream because ice cream makes everything better. Thanks for checking on me ❤️
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  • sbaby2023sbaby2023 member
    Thanks it’s always nice to talk to someone who understands the range of emotions that come with this process.

    I am sorry you have had a rough week. I know what you mean about the symptoms. I always get nervous on days I feel more normal. I will be thinking about you tomorrow and hope you get good news. Either way you should eat lots of ice cream for making it through another week!
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  • kbru88kbru88 member
    @maggiemadeit so glad you got to hear the heartbeat! I have been rooting so hard for you. 
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  • sbaby2023sbaby2023 member
    @maggiemadeit I am so glad you got some good news today. I didn’t realize that seeing a heartbeat decreases miscarriage chances by that much. That is such exciting news! Hope you have a fantastic weekend!
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  • maggiemadeitmaggiemadeit member
    @kbru88 Thank you so much! I really appreciate your support!

    @sbaby2023 So my RE told us we had a 5% chance of becoming pregnant, and a 50% chance of miscarriage, based on my age, hormone levels, and loss history. And the risk after you see a heartbeat depends on what week you hear it, but that’s the average for 7 weeks. 

    I feel like I’m walking around with a miracle in my belly 🌈😭
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  • sjbee12sjbee12 member
    You’re earlier post on bad intuition, followed by this good news has given me a lot of peace today, thank you! I am about 7 and a half weeks pregnant, I had a early miscarriage around this time two years ago and have really struggled to tell the difference between my anxiety and intuition. During the long wait to my first appointment (Nov 1st) i’ve felt something just isn’t right and I’ve gone back in forth between telling myself that’s just in my head and trusting my “gut”. I’m so hopeful it’s just my anxiety and I’m glad to hear good news came from this feeling with you, very happy for you! Holding onto hope we also get good news this week 😊
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  • maggiemadeitmaggiemadeit member
    @sjbee12 Pregnancy after loss is so hard. I’m sorry you’ve been feeling that anxiety, and I really hope you get some good news this week! 
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  • sbaby2023sbaby2023 member
    @sjbee12 I am sorry you have been having anxiety and understand the feeling about “gut” vs fear/ptsd.

    I have had a really rough night. My husband and I had sex today and afterward I started bleeding. Not just spotting but red blood (no clots). I am freaking out and thinking this is the end. My husband is trying to convince me that it’s just an irritated cervix and I will admit it does seem like a huge coincidence that this all started right after sex. But it just seems like too much blood to be an irritated cervix. Idk if I can wait for my next ultrasound on Wednesday 
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  • maggiemadeitmaggiemadeit member
    @sbaby2023 I’m sorry, that’s so scary. Can you call and see if they can see you sooner? I’m sure it’s just what you’ve said, an irritated cervix, but I would definitely call to get some reassurance on that. I have heard that taking progesterone can increase the irritation of your cervix too. 
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  • sjbee12sjbee12 member
    @sbaby2023 Im so sorry, I’m sure that is causing a lot of fear as well. Im hopeful You’re feeling better today, and that you can get into your doctor early for some peace of mind. Sending positive thoughts your way!!
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  • sbaby2023sbaby2023 member
    Thank both. This morning the bleeding has pretty much stopped (I have just had really minor spotting). My Dr has put me on pelvic rest but they do not want to reschedule the ultrasound. I am on vaginal progesterone and had a yeast infection last week but everything was feeling much better. But maybe my cervix had just had enough. It’s going to be a long 2 days. This process is just too much and sometimes I don’t know how to feel. I appreciate your support though 
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  • maggiemadeitmaggiemadeit member
    @sbaby2023 I’m sorry, I know it’s torture to wait. I’m keeping you in my thoughts for Wednesday and hoping that you continue to get positive news ❤️
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