IF Testing & Treatment w/o Oct 23

britters314 · October 2023

**This is a place for those of us who have already started TTC, but have started infertility testing and/or treatments. You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on infertility. TTC can be a long journey naturally, then add in the difficulties associated with infertility, and it becomes a whole new ballgame. The road to infertility can be lonely, frustrating, and complicated, so let's make this a place where we can vent, ask questions, and support one another. Feel free to resurrect this thread at any point in the week if you have something to say. Treat this as an ongoing conversation.

Diagnosis (if you've been):

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched):

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?):

How are things going?:

Any questions?:

GTKY: Do you think dreams have deeper meanings?

britters314 · October 2023

Diagnosis (if you've been): Unexplained

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): TI

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Herbs and looking into embryo adoption

How are things going?: Decent. H is warming to the idea of using a donor embryo. We probably won’t make a decision until after the holidays, so he still has some time to think about it.

Any questions?: Nope

GTKY: Do you think dreams have deeper meanings?
Most dreams, no. But some dreams, yes I think they do.

inthewoods23 · October 2023

@britters314 what are his reservations with embryo adoption?

Diagnosis (if you've been): immune issues

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): still benched

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): on meds for another week before having labs redone!

How are things going?: things are good. keeping busy. I spent yesterday getting all my appointments set up for the labwork plus the follow up.

Any questions?: has anyone had a higher than desired TSH and still been given the okay to TTC? I think mine was over 4 back when I had it checked a few months ago. Being on synthroid for only 3 weeks I can't imagine it improving by that much. Needs to be under 2 if I recall.

GTKY: Do you think dreams have deeper meanings? my dreams probably don't. most of mine seem to be repeats of my day so meaning can't be that deep!

britters314 · October 2023

@inthewoods23 He hasn’t been specific but I think it’s mainly that he sees it as giving up on the idea of passing on his DNA. I think he’s also not too keen on seeing me pregnant with someone else’s child. Both things that I can understandably see any man might struggle with and I’m sure he’ll be able to move past.

aisleofviewtwo · October 2023

@inthewoods23 The “optimal” TSH number I was given for TTC/pregnancy is 2.5 or below. My understanding is synthroid is pretty effective in changing levels in just 3-4 weeks, FX that’s what your labs report! I was put on synthroid for a slightly elevated (3.03) TSH a month ago, but wasn’t told we couldn’t proceed at that level—just that they’d rather see it lower…

@britters314 My initial reaction was that the whole point of adoption is that it is his child. But I’ve also seen reports that partners can have a much harder time feeling connected to their baby when they’re not the one carrying it, and I can see how the DNA piece could make that disconnect feel even greater. I hope with a little more time you’re able to find a path forward that feels good to you both.

aisleofviewtwo · October 2023

Diagnosis (if you've been): Unexplained

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): IVF

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): genetic counseling, FX for a retrieval cycle to start next week

How are things going?: We’re doing ok. Have a genetic counseling session scheduled for Wednesday to learn more about our situation (hubs and I are carriers for the same genetic condition) and figure out how to proceed. The testing process seems doable but time-intensive.

Spoiler for a bit more stream-of-consciousness take on where I’m at:

At times I’m very keen on the additional information and peace of mind testing can bring. Other times I have fears that testing—especially at such a granular level—is too much playing God for what is not a fatal condition.

It’s weird; we would have blindly taken the risk of passing on this deficiency if we had conceived naturally (we had no plans to do genetic screening until we started at the fertility clinic), and we would have dealt with any problems if/when they arose. But now that I know it’s a risk and could save a future child from dealing with such a condition, it feels almost selfish not to test? Like, would they hate me for knowing this was a possibility and just carrying on with having babies? It’s their quality of life, too!

I’m just really in my head about it all…

Any questions?:

GTKY: Do you think dreams have deeper meanings? I don’t think anybody should be held to account for where their unconscious mind goes. That said, I think dreams are a way of our bodies trying to work through unresolved matters of both the head and the heart. I’ve noticed that certain themes (and people!) pop up in my dreams when I’m feeling certain kinds of ways. It feels a little too correlated to be coincidence.

britters314 · October 2023

aisleofviewtwo said:

@britters314 My initial reaction was that the whole point of adoption is that it is his child. But I’ve also seen reports that partners can have a much harder time feeling connected to their baby when they’re not the one carrying it, and I can see how the DNA piece could make that disconnect feel even greater. I hope with a little more time you’re able to find a path forward that feels good to you both.

We have two adopted kids already, so I know he would think of the child as his once it is born. I’m sure it’s just that he has only pictured me pregnant with a baby that he put there (for lack of a better way of saying that lol). This is just a very different way of adopting and I understand that he needs to wrap his head around it.

inthewoods23 · October 2023

@britters314 what about using donor eggs instead of donor embryos?

britters314 · October 2023

@inthewoods23 At that point it would just make more sense (and cost less) to just do a regular IVF cycle. Either of those options we could end up with more embryos than we want though. The whole point of using a donor embryo is so we can say we only want one or two embryos. So I think we are only considering donor embryo or possibly a natural IVF cycle (although then we could end up with no embryos which would suck). If we decide not to do either of those we’ll probably just be done.

winterecho · October 2023

Diagnosis (if you've been): PCOS

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): IUI and TI

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): finished letrozole on Mon and going in tomorrow for blood work and ultrasound. Most likely schedule the next IUI for early next week

How are things going?: I spoke to my financial counselor at my clinic yesterday and I feel tons better! She understands better what my insurance will cover and was shocked to learn that I was in a months long battle with insurance and the radiology center about getting approval for an MRI this summer plus the pharmacy giving me trouble about releasing my Rx, so she said she's going to insist to my medical team that all that stuff goes through her first so she can ensure everything is in place to get approvals 🙌🏼

Any questions?: How do I make these 300+ unread emails in my work inbox disappear 😅 I've been so swamped with a project the past few days that I haven't been able to read emails!

GTKY: Do you think dreams have deeper meanings? I'm not surprised given my inbox situation that many of my dreams are work related. The deeper meaning there is that I wake up remembering something I'm supposed to do first thing in the morning or whatever

@aisleofviewtwo I had gotten genetic testing done too and we hadn't even been expecting it! That first appointment at the fertility clinic was kind of a whirlwind of questions and information. We were both like "sure take our blood and do what you gotta do"

sunshine134 · October 2023

Hello Ladies!

I've been absent from TB for a few weeks/months, but I've been here for over a year and a half. Some may remember. Well, a lot has changed. I am getting divorced and am going to do fertility treatments by myself. My husband never wanted children, and tbh, I pressured him into trying. It was clear though that it wasn't what he wanted and I couldn't move forward. I am almost 37, and don't want to find a man just to have kids with, so I scheduled my first appointment with an RE for this Monday. I plan to stay in this board, so I won't introduce myself on newbies again. I hope to find some support here. Wishing all you the best!

Diagnosis (if you've been): I have endo and possibly perimenipausal. But no official dx yet.

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): Starting with RE- hoping to move to IUI with donor sperm first.

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): First appointment

How are things going?: Life is crazy

Any questions?: Any advice for seeing RE first time?

GTKY: Do you think dreams have deeper meanings? No, not really. Not usually at least.

britters314 · October 2023

@sunshine134 I’m sorry for what you are going through, but I hope things work out for you moving forward on your own. Do you have an appointment scheduled with an RE already?

maggiemadeit · October 2023

*lurking*

@sunshine134 I’m so sorry about your divorce. What a difficult time. I really hope that moving forward on your own brings you everything you dream of. I’ll be rooting for you! ❤️

aisleofviewtwo · October 2023

@sunshine134 Welcome back! Though I’m sorry it’s under such difficult circumstances.

My experience, and this seems to resonate with the anecdata I’ve heard from others, is that REs tend to be heavily biased in favor of (1) data and (2) action. This often leads to a very aggressive proposal for a treatment plan. If you’re hoping for something less aggressive/invasive, I’d say make sure you make that known early (and often, if necessary).

Ours was very forthright that she thought straight to IVF was the way to go, but at every stage of the discussion was also willing to offer alternatives we could try that might have lower prognoses for success by the numbers but that could still generally improve our very crappy odds.

Good luck tomorrow—keep us posted!

sunshine134 · October 2023

Thank you for your support, ladies! I appreciate you!

inthewoods23 · October 2023

@sunshine134 welcome back! (Under sad circumstances 😢). I'm glad you're doing this for you though!

britters314 · October 2023

@aisleofviewtwo That’s interesting because I’ve actually had the opposite experience with an RE. She only wanted to talk about me doing IUI and when I asked about IVF stuff she was basically like oh we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. I was in my 20s though, so that could be why.

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