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Pregnant after 35
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35 & Preg

holly_101holly_101 Just Joined
in Pregnant after 35
Hi guys. Looking for some advice or just encouragement. Feeling really down. I’m 35 and just found out I’m pregnant. I have a 10 year old daughter. I told her the news and she is devastated from the sounds of it. I’m not with her father. I’ve been with another man for about 4 years now. My ex and I don’t have a custody agreement or anything legally. He gets her once a week. Her reaction is pretty much crying and saying how will I hide this from her dad and I won’t love her the same. It kind of breaks my heart and has me second guessing even continuing on with this pregnancy. I don’t want to traumatize her. I also feel like her reaction is very selfish. Has anyone else dealt with anything like this? 😔
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Re: 35 & Preg

  • knottie1c550164f6547569knottie1c550164f6547569 member
    First, it certainly is heartbreaking to hear of your daughter’s unexpected response to your pregnancy, although I would definitely not base your decisions on your daughter’s current emotions or your own.
    There are obviously wounds here that need to be compassionately addressed, possibly in counseling. How has she handled the divorce… how has your former spouse handled it…are there still hard feelings there or hopes of a reconciliation. A mom and a dad together is a stability that children rely on and draw security from—so while I am not judging anything about your divorce, I am saying that children will be affected tremendously. It’s super important that her feelings be acknowledged and that you both have the emotional support you need. Your daughter may have the emotional room or capacity once she is able to deal with these other things. I’d wager that this has little to do with the actual pregnancy. 
       Your baby is precious. Your mama heart deserves to be celebrated and supported, so make sure you surround yourself with people who lift you up and help you release any stress. I hope that the relationship you are in now feels secure and supportive, and can help you weather these other squalls. Both of your children need dads who care and are willing to offer their masculine strength in a way that only they can. 
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