- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Families and Friendships
friendlookingoutforafriend
Just Joined
Do I talk to my friend about her husband?
friendlookingoutforafriend
Just Joined
Hi:)
I am not pregnant but my friend is. She is currently in her last trimester and only three weeks away from her due date. I couldn’t be more excited for her, however there is the story with her husband…
Her husband is nice once you talk to him. But there are just certain things that keep bothering me about him. For one since the start of her pregnancy he has been smoking in front of her (I’ve seen it happen like 3 times, maybe these were exceptions but it kept bothering me). I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to overstep any boundaries.
However now the issue is their nursery. My friend had told me how she had asked him to build the furniture and until now the only thing he has built is the changing table.
Yesterday I went to her house and help her put wall sticker on the wall and once I got home she texted me. She asked me if I had the time to built the closet because her husband is busy.
And my initial reaction was 'no' but I feel so bad for her. She keeps on telling me how no one in her family (her 4 sisters, her 4 brother in laws or her parents) had the time to help her. And now with her husband…
I have asked her a couple of times if he had finally built the closet and she told me 'no he said he is gonna do it tomorrow'. It’s been weeks…She ordered the furniture in January. It’s been nearly 4 months. And yesterday I have finally had enough.
She texted me yesterday and asked if I could pick up a nursery chair with her. And I told her 'i don’t think I’ll be able to lift it' and her response was ‘we’ll just take my younger sister with us' and honestly it’s frustrating. Why won’t she ask her husband?
And then came a text asking if I could help her built the closet. But let’s be honest. I would be the one building it. She is in her last trimester and I wouldn’t feel comfortable letting her help. So I asked why her husband couldn’t do it. Her response:
“He can’t do it. You know he has exams coming up and it’s also ramadan, so he is always tired. And during his two weeks off he didn’t do much studying because he felt so tried and drained from fasting. I get it. I feel bad for him. And honestly my family also didn’t reply to me when I asked if they could help. You are really the only one who seems to care and who checks up on me regularly”
I don’t know how it is to fast because I’m not muslim, so I don’t know how tired I would be. But its to frustrating. I’m not the one having a daughter. It’s my friend and her husband. Why do i need to help? But then I feel so bad. I don’t want her to go to the hospital and cry about how the nursery is not finished and the baby is already here. But again it’s not my baby.
I’m in so much conflict now. What should I do? Should I help her? Should I tell her that I think her husband is not acting like he is becoming a father? Should I tell her that I am starting to really really dislike him? Or would that overstep boundaries? I honestly don’t know what to do.
I am not pregnant but my friend is. She is currently in her last trimester and only three weeks away from her due date. I couldn’t be more excited for her, however there is the story with her husband…
Her husband is nice once you talk to him. But there are just certain things that keep bothering me about him. For one since the start of her pregnancy he has been smoking in front of her (I’ve seen it happen like 3 times, maybe these were exceptions but it kept bothering me). I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to overstep any boundaries.
However now the issue is their nursery. My friend had told me how she had asked him to build the furniture and until now the only thing he has built is the changing table.
Yesterday I went to her house and help her put wall sticker on the wall and once I got home she texted me. She asked me if I had the time to built the closet because her husband is busy.
And my initial reaction was 'no' but I feel so bad for her. She keeps on telling me how no one in her family (her 4 sisters, her 4 brother in laws or her parents) had the time to help her. And now with her husband…
I have asked her a couple of times if he had finally built the closet and she told me 'no he said he is gonna do it tomorrow'. It’s been weeks…She ordered the furniture in January. It’s been nearly 4 months. And yesterday I have finally had enough.
She texted me yesterday and asked if I could pick up a nursery chair with her. And I told her 'i don’t think I’ll be able to lift it' and her response was ‘we’ll just take my younger sister with us' and honestly it’s frustrating. Why won’t she ask her husband?
And then came a text asking if I could help her built the closet. But let’s be honest. I would be the one building it. She is in her last trimester and I wouldn’t feel comfortable letting her help. So I asked why her husband couldn’t do it. Her response:
“He can’t do it. You know he has exams coming up and it’s also ramadan, so he is always tired. And during his two weeks off he didn’t do much studying because he felt so tried and drained from fasting. I get it. I feel bad for him. And honestly my family also didn’t reply to me when I asked if they could help. You are really the only one who seems to care and who checks up on me regularly”
I don’t know how it is to fast because I’m not muslim, so I don’t know how tired I would be. But its to frustrating. I’m not the one having a daughter. It’s my friend and her husband. Why do i need to help? But then I feel so bad. I don’t want her to go to the hospital and cry about how the nursery is not finished and the baby is already here. But again it’s not my baby.
I’m in so much conflict now. What should I do? Should I help her? Should I tell her that I think her husband is not acting like he is becoming a father? Should I tell her that I am starting to really really dislike him? Or would that overstep boundaries? I honestly don’t know what to do.
Re: Do I talk to my friend about her husband?
It depends on the context and the nature of your concern. If you genuinely believe that talking to your friend about her husband would be helpful or necessary, then it may be appropriate to have a conversation with her. However, it is important to approach the situation with care and sensitivity. Consider if your intention is to support your friend and offer assistance, rather than causing harm or stirring up unnecessary conflicts. Additionally, respect your friend's privacy and be prepared for the possibility that she may not want to discuss certain aspects of her relationship.