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Husband brings his daughter up everytime I mention our baby who's on the way.

mamalangfordmamalangford member
in Blended Families
I'm not sure how to deal with this...My husband and I are newlyweds expecting our first child together, a baby boy to arrive by New Years Eve. Hubby has a 5 year old daughter from a previous marriage but is not on good terms with the mother who moved out of state with their child.  Sometimes I like to imagine out loud what our little boy will be like,  how smart he will be,  what he'll like to do,  things like that.  In those moments my husband always seems to bring up his daughter and how she was as a baby.  It's frustrating for me because it seems he feels guilty or something for having another child.  While I love his daughter,  this is my first birth child and it would be nice to have that moment with my husband about my son instead of him always changing the subject to be about his daughter.  One day I asked if he does that because he feels guilt and he said no...then what is it? Why can't help and I have a moment about it son exclusively?
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Re: Husband brings his daughter up everytime I mention our baby who's on the way.

  • knottie2f37afb5d07b599fknottie2f37afb5d07b599f Newbie
    I think it’s completely normal. He’s just sharing what she was like, it’s comparing how they could be similar or different. I’m sure hardly seeing his daughter is difficult on him. She’s only 5 so she was a baby not long ago. I’m currently pregnant from an assault, my fiancé and father of my 6 year old daughter is committed to raising her as his own even though she does share his dna, and will even have a completely different ethnicity. When we speak about how our new baby girl will be, I always compare how our first daughter was as a baby to how the new one will be, it’s only natural for a parent who has another child to do that. I understand you’re excited and this is your first baby but if you chose to be with someone who has another child, you have to be willing to accept what comes with that. You can’t ask a parent to shove aside one child to pretend this new child is all there is, if I’m seeming too harsh, I apologize, but it’s the truth. Let him talk about his daughter, maybe even ask questions on how she was as an infant. Half of her dna will be half of your sons so there will be similarities, rejoice in that and allow him to as well. If you want a cohesive blended family it’s the only thing you can do or you guys will fall apart
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