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Guilt after doctor visit

nicademus20nicademus20 member
edited March 2023 in Attachment Parenting
Today I took my LO to the doctor for his one year old shots. He flinched and scream cried once the needle was in and I had a moment of "What the **** am I doing to him?!!" 
During the examination my LO was also fighting off the doctor's hands and had that scared look in his eyes. I tried to hold my LO's arms down so the doctor could get accurate look inside his ears, etc.
But what is it all for? 
I never want to see that scared look in my LO eyes again during trying to be restrained for the examination; and the horror of the shots.
But I have no family doctor, my parents and siblings have no family doctor, so it is good my little man has a pediatrition to go to. Yet, if the visits cause such stress for him (and therefore, for me) ...
I don't really know what I am asking. 
Have any of you also felt this guilt after seeing your LO(s) have a traumatic time at the doctors?
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Re: Guilt after doctor visit

  • 00kim0000kim00 member
    I have a 2 month old, so he just got his first round of vaccinations. It definitely hurt my mama heart to hear that scream after the needles went in- he's never cried like that! We've also had a few days of my normally very chill baby being fussy, throwing up, diarrhea, not sleeping, etc., which is likely from the vaccinations. It sucks, it really does. BUT, those diseases he's vaccinated against? They could kill him. They've killed thousands and thousands of strong, healthy babies like him over the years. So as much as I might cry when he gets his shots, I would 100% take that over him dying of one of those diseases. Even just getting whooping cough or mumps or one of those other diseases, even if he doesn't have a severe case or doesn't die from it, is worse than the few seconds of pain from the needle and few days of side effects.

    So, Mama, it's worth it. What's it for? What are you doing to him? You're protecting him from pretty serious danger, as a good mama does. The same way you buckle him into a car seat even if he doesn't like to be confined, and the same way you would grab him if he were running into traffic. It's hard, and it can be hard to see the bigger benefit through the immediate discomfort. And just like the many times you'll tell him "don't touch that!" (fire, stove, knife, etc.) or "no, you can't" (jump off the cliff, pet the tiger, etc.) HE may not be happy or see the benefit in the moment. But you're the mama, so you protect even when it's uncomfortable. You're doing the right thing. Keep it up!
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  • swizzlemalarkeyswizzlemalarkey member
    There’s a lot of things we have to do as parents that we might hate. My son is 2.5 and I have to fight him sometimes just to brush teeth or get dressed. And the times he’s needed medicine you’d think I was giving him poison. I need my husband to hold him down . And it sucks, but we’re doing it for their benefit, something I do for his appts is hold him on my lap for the exam. It’s actually what his doctor recommends. So I still have to hold him (he hates getting his ears looked at) but it’s not as traumatizing. I do put him on the table for the vaccines because I have more control and don’t want him to move as much. If the MA is good though the shot is always so quick. And one day he might not even cry anymore. 
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  • ftbalgirl79ftbalgirl79 Newbie
    There’s a few things that made me reconsider some decisions-this was one of them
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