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July 2023 Moms
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Overly Excited Grandparents?

mama_wilsmama_wils member
in July 2023 Moms
My husbands mother has been waiting for grandchildren forever. Obviously she is finally getting one. We were talking and she mentioned coming to visit after the baby is born (they live a few hours away). We want visitors, but we were also planning on having the first 7 days with our little one to ourselves as we are first time parents and want the bonding time. She wants to come up as soon as we get out of the hospital (or while we are still in the hospital). Has anyone else dealt with this? Any recommendations on how to say no without being rude? 
We want her to come but maybe after 1-2 weeks. 
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Re: Overly Excited Grandparents?

  • slynnmsslynnms member
    It might be helpful to have her while you're at the hospital, to run and get food or give you and your spouse a break. I will either be in the hospital 2-3 days. I can understand not wanting any home visits for a bit. But I would definitely go ahead and just tell her your plan... we've been very open and honest with ours.
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  • austinjlaustinjl member
    Yea I had an unexpected induction with my first and my parents came down to help with our dog. Originally we planned on waiting some time too.  But it ended up being helpful.  Just be direct and let them know you’ll communicate when you’re ready for a short visit.  Also I’d have your husband talk to his mom about it since it’s his mom.  
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  • slynnmsslynnms member
    My MIL is a retired teacher so she has hundreds of books she keeps talking about and trying to give us. We've already picked out 10 and brought them home and I told her once he's actually born we will go through them a little more and rotate the books out. We simply don't have room for that many and I also don't see the need of collecting books that are targeted towards elementary/middle school just yet. I'm more interested in the crinkle cloth books and short stories we can read to him now and while he's a baby. I know people are excited but we have so much going on my focus is not on books but on bottles, diapers and a safe healthy delivery and baby!
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  • LHarris2000LHarris2000 member
    Did you find a way to communicate your wishes? It's very tough. My mother expected to be at the birth of our first daughter. We wanted a month with no overnight guests. My parents aren't overly helpful guests. It was a hard no and it ended our relationship for a number of years. I hope you (or your husband) are able communicate more clearly what your wishes are and that those wishes are accepted with love.
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