Questions about formula feeding/formula shaming

nicolovesu · February 2018

I feel silly asking, but I have no idea how to formula feed. Mainly, can you overfeed a baby with a bottle? How do I know when to switch nipple flow speed?

Also I just wanted to hear other mom's thoughts on formula shaming. I breastfed my first 2 children, and it was extremely difficult. I kept it up and while it did get easier, I always had pain. I felt pressure from all fronts to continue.

After my second baby I had a breast reduction and my surgeon told me my chance of breastfeeding again was almost nil due to type of surgery and tissue removal. Fast forward and 6 years later I am pregnant with our surprise baby.

To be honest I am relieved I have an "out" to breastfeeding. But I am anxious about delivering and the care after. I saw myself the first 2 times how hard the staff push bfing. My last roomate formula fed from birth and the doctor (who happens to work for my clinic) gave the poor mom a rough time. Same with the nurses

Has anyone else experienced this? How do I respond to formula shamers??

m6agua · February 2018

I had no choice and had to FF because I have IGT (insufficient glandular tissue). I didn't know until after my LO was born and the first week was hell. Because the nurses and everyone are so pro breastfeeding, I basically starved my child for the first week because I was continually told not to supplement. So with my next kid I am firmly going in exclusively FF and if I can get a little BM then ok. My advice is just to be strong in what you want and try not to let what others say bother you. Formula is just as good for your baby.

In my opinion no you cannot overfeed with a bottle. Babies don't have that type of relationship with food yet. They eat when they are hungry and stop when they are full. As for switching nipples, Whenever I noticed my LO sucking in more air, downing the bottles faster, her mouth/suction looking weird, nipple collapsing I would switch to the next size. Sometimes it was a little back and forth between sizes. Basically you just figure out what works for your LO.

Kacie209 · February 2018

My DS will be 15 months this Thursday. I started off BFing in the hospital, but we also supplementing because he was barely getting anything and dropping weight. We left with some the hospital bottles of Similac, and were readmitted a couple days later to get his bilirubin numbers down. During that stay, we did a combo since he couldn't be out of the lights - I pumped and then we did a mix of formula/BF. Going home, this was what he got. However, even after meeting with a lactation consultant a few times... I just wasn't producing enough BF to solely feed my child with that. So, we continued to supplement. And, I felt that all I was ever doing was trying to feed him. It took so much time to pump, and I think at most... I MAYBE got 20 oz one time. But, that was it. I massaged, I took pills, I ate lactation cookies, etc... and nothing. So, for me... it was the time it took just to get such a small amount of BF - that by the time he was 1.5 months, he was strictly FF. And you know... no regrets. He's our first and maybe I could have done other things to try, but his nutrition and growth was more important, and FF did that. DS was always in the 50th percentile for height/weight at every appointment (minus his 9 month, when he was under for both). He had maybe 3 colds during his first year, even in a center daycare center. He's currently just shy of 23lbs. and is still in the 50th percentile!

I also don't believe that you can overfeed a baby. They will let you know when they've had enough, or want more. We moved up from a 1 to a 2 at about 6 months, when it seemed like it was harder for him to get something out of it. We never moved up to a 3. And yeah, what works for your baby may not work with others so you may have to try different nipples out.

You do what you need to do. No judgement.

hippiestinkmom · April 2018

Kacie209 said:

My DS will be 15 months this Thursday. I started off BFing in the hospital, but we also supplementing because he was barely getting anything and dropping weight. We left with some the hospital bottles of Similac, and were readmitted a couple days later to get his bilirubin numbers down. During that stay, we did a combo since he couldn't be out of the lights - I pumped and then we did a mix of formula/BF. Going home, this was what he got. However, even after meeting with a lactation consultant a few times... I just wasn't producing enough BF to solely feed my child with that. So, we continued to supplement. And, I felt that all I was ever doing was trying to feed him. It took so much time to pump, and I think at most... I MAYBE got 20 oz one time. But, that was it. I massaged, I took pills, I ate lactation cookies, etc... and nothing. So, for me... it was the time it took just to get such a small amount of BF - that by the time he was 1.5 months, he was strictly FF. And you know... no regrets. He's our first and maybe I could have done other things to try, but his nutrition and growth was more important, and FF did that. DS was always in the 50th percentile for height/weight at every appointment (minus his 9 month, when he was under for both). He had maybe 3 colds during his first year, even in a center daycare center. He's currently just shy of 23lbs. and is still in the 50th percentile!

I also don't believe that you can overfeed a baby. They will let you know when they've had enough, or want more. We moved up from a 1 to a 2 at about 6 months, when it seemed like it was harder for him to get something out of it. We never moved up to a 3. And yeah, what works for your baby may not work with others so you may have to try different nipples out.

You do what you need to do. No judgement.

Your story sounds SO MUCH like mine. We started BF and it went fine for us up until about two or three weeks. My supply suddenly plummeted and when he was hospitalized for RSV at four weeks the stress dried me up completely and I said "no more". Now at 6 months he's happy and healthy, totally normal.

OP, don't feel ashamed! Sometimes for whatever reason BF doesn't work out. You are NOT less of a mom and in the end a FED baby is best.

richarsd · April 2021

How did I deal with formula shamers? Honestly, I'd tell them to F right off. What you do with your body is your business and yours only. There is zero shame in formula feeding - science milk is wonderful stuff.

mybimba · May 2023

I refused to breastfeed. The hospital tried to force me with my first child. They had attached her while I still asleep under general anesthesia from my csection. My husband objected but wa ignored. I woke up high amd disoriented and when I realized what was happening I pulled her away and puked for like 10 minutes. I sl@pped my husband twice because I blamed him for not having the balls to stand up to them. I still blame him.

Questions about formula feeding/formula shaming

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