TTCAL w/o Apr 17

maggiemadeit · April 2023

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage / spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and/or stillbirth may be mentioned.**

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

Questions?

GTKY: What actor would you choose to play you in your biopic?

sunshine134 · April 2023

I'm not sure where I belong right now so I'll post here.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? Terrible. I am having a chemical pregnancy. For three whole days I imagined it was going to happen(while still being cautious) and it turned and is now confirmed chemical. Also, I hate that term. It makes me feel like it wasn't a baby. And to me it was.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Progesterone was low so Dr. Agreed to give support for the next pregnancy.

Questions? When does it stop sucking?

GTKY: What actor would you choose to play you in your biopic? Amanda bynes

maggiemadeit · April 2023

@sunshine134 I’m sorry. It’s happened to me before too and it’s so heartbreaking. Sending you lots of love and support.

virginiaham · April 2023

@sunshine134 heartbroken for you. Two weeks ago I was deep in that gut-wrenching, “I don’t want to be here” feeling, and I imagine it’s overwhelming for you right now. Sending love.

charmedlifex3 · April 2023

Status: WFAF following a d and c

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well?we bought a house! My husband kept bringing up objectively nicer houses, but I just couldn’t commit to a house without a bedroom for our maybe baby. Well, it worked out! We found a house we both love, the right number of bedrooms- the kicker? Built in 1780. No that’s not a typo 🥴😂

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Waiting on blood work. But, my doctor said my positive anticoagulant antibodies are probably the cause. So I’m taking an aspirin a day and will go on lovenox as soon as I get a BFP

Questions?

GTKY: What actor would you choose to play you in your biopic? Drew Barrymore!

@sunshine134 for me it was when I was able to physically move on. It’s definitely been tough each time while I was stuck in limbo land of “can’t try but not pregnant.”

I’m so sorry to see this update 😞

virginiaham · April 2023

Putting a TW for processing some things.

Just checking in mid-week here. So, I don’t think I fully dealt with my last loss in 2019 and the painful circumstances around it. After the CP over Easter weekend, it’s SO easy for me to jump back into those weeds and lose sight of literally everything but the painful, in a way that isn’t at all congruent with the healing and distance I assumed I’ve had from 2019. I was just reading up on PTSD after miscarriage and ectopic, and the rates are alarming. So I just wanted to come in here and say that I’m reminding myself to be kind to myself, and, wondering if I should talk with someone a bit more formally about this is making me think that I should, even if just a session or two—and wanted to pass that encouragement on as well.

The part I hated about the CP, was there was a line but I cringed at the thought of calling myself pregnant—“not until I’d graduate from the RE,” I thought, except I’m not with an RE right now. “There’s a line but we’ll see if it’s viable.” Two pink lines felt like I’m already making room for more grief, and I was. I hate loss, hate that any of us have to walk this.

maggiemadeit · April 2023

@virginiaham Just want to throw my full support behind you as you’re working through these difficult feelings. And I really support speaking with a professional. I listened to the very wise advice of the women of this TTCAL forum and starting therapy a few months after my second consecutive miscarriage, over a year ago now. It was one of the darkest times of my life, I didn’t know if I could survive the grief, if my marriage would survive. It’s been long and hard but getting that professional help was the single best thing I have ever done for myself. This shit is ugly and hard, and we all deserve that support. I’m rooting for you and your peace ❤️

charmedlifex3 · April 2023

@virginaham I have a therapist that specifically specializes in reproductive health issues. If you can’t find that- go with at least a woman. I had a man at first and it was not helpful. He kept unconsciously making “ick” face or asking clarification about things so he could understand- like how much of my trauma was extraordinary and triggering ptsd and how much was just … what most women deal with. He had no clue. It’s been night and day with my current therapist

virginiaham · April 2023

@charmedlifex3 yikes that is good to know. Thank you and @maggiemadeit for your wisdom and encouragement, it’s definitely reinforcing that I need to do this for myself. I’m so glad you both have that support.

mambo5-2 · April 2023

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

All the losses! MFI, RPL and possible funky blood

Status: WTO but likely a wash this cycle because I got stupid sick.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? Nothing is going well. H got hurt last month playing ultimate frisbee and this month I had an allergic reaction so bad I ended up in the ER.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope

Questions? Nope

GTKY: What actor would you choose to play you in your biopic? Um Jennifer Lawrence? I don't know

mambo5-2 · April 2023

@virginiaham as someone diagnosed with PTSD following my loss of my twins. I feel you friend. Find someone that you mesh with to work through this. It's a crappy garbage thing to go through. And hard to process because of how it is stigmatized. I sorry friend.

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