Community› The Bump Message Boards› 2nd Trimester
2nd Trimester
New Discussion

Hosting a baby shower

sarahgouletsarahgoulet member
in 2nd Trimester
There’s something on my mind I want to throw out there. Are the expectant parents allowed to host their own baby shower, ever? All the etiquette guidelines say “no” and same goes for immediate family as this makes it appear the host/family are asking for gifts. But… aren’t we? I mean we register for gifts, right? 

My BFF has offered to host my shower. Our closest family members live in VA/MD but we live in California. We are flying east for the shower because honestly a lot of them can’t afford to fly to California and my grandma is too old to fly. But that leaves out a lot of friends in California who want to celebrate us. I have a close friend here, but she has not offered to host, and I don’t want to ask her to host. Actually she’s happy to travel so she will likely attend the east coast shower. Anyway - people keep saying “have two showers!” and I’d love to but seems like it’s not polite. 

Wedding receptions and birthdays can be hosted directly, and these are gift giving occasions. Is it really improper to host one’s own shower? What would you think if you were invited such an event? 
Report Reply to Post

Re: Hosting a baby shower

  • harpseal135harpseal135 member
    Wait until the baby is born and have a "meet the baby" gathering.  Simple, easy and a way for you to get around this.  
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • WishilivedinfloridaWishilivedinflorida member
    Attend the east coast shower and have a registry. If your friends ask for your registry info in CA, you can provide it. If anyone who is suggesting a second shower wants to step up, they will. If not, I wouldn’t have anything formal. 
    Report Reply
  • sarahgouletsarahgoulet member

    harpseal135 said:
    Wait until the baby is born and have a "meet the baby" gathering.  Simple, easy and a way for you to get around this.  
    That’s an idea!
    Report Reply
  • nmmcateenmmcatee member
    My husband and I are hosting our own shower. Some rules just seem silly and outdated.
    Report Reply
  • emeraldcity603emeraldcity603 member
    It’s tacky and I would likely not attend. 
    Report Reply
  • swizzlemalarkeyswizzlemalarkey member
    For a first baby shower I would probably still go if it was hosted by parents-to-be because I get that not everyone has someone who is willing to host them.
    however, I’ve seen people host their own 2nd (or 3rd) shower/sprinkle and I think that’s tacky and I wouldn’t go. Except for a specific circumstance (like remarried and haven’t had a baby in a long time or something like that) 
    Report Reply
  • thoseboysmamathoseboysmama member
    I don't find it tacky. Especially for first baby.
    We had friends and family host ours we had 2. Both for our first baby and for each side or "area" so people would be able to attend. 

    We have a friend who has had 3. One for each child. She asks for super expensive things and nice clothes and gift cards. I find it very low class, but to each their own. 
    Most people love to support a FTM or unique circumstance mom like PP stated. 

    We also have had a friend have a baby with health conditions and those tend to be pricey so everyone pitches together when they need something like a fancy wheelchair or a special shower, etc.
    To surround someone with support is always a nice thing to do. Asking for it for stuff you've already been gifted with another child is another thing all together. 
    Report Reply
  • sarahgouletsarahgoulet member
    sarahgoulet said:
    There’s something on my mind I want to throw out there. Are the expectant parents allowed to host their own baby shower, ever? All the etiquette guidelines say “no” and same goes for immediate family as this makes it appear the host/family are asking for gifts. But… aren’t we? I mean we register for gifts, right? 

    My BFF has offered to host my shower. Our closest family members live in VA/MD but we live in California. We are flying east for the shower because honestly a lot of them can’t afford to fly to California and my grandma is too old to fly. But that leaves out a lot of friends in California who want to celebrate us. I have a close friend here, but she has not offered to host, and I don’t want to ask her to host. Actually she’s happy to travel so she will likely attend the east coast shower. Anyway - people keep saying “have two showers!” and I’d love to but seems like it’s not polite. 

    Wedding receptions and birthdays can be hosted directly, and these are gift giving occasions. Is it really improper to host one’s own shower? What would you think if you were invited such an event? 

    Wishilivedinflorida said:
    Attend the east coast shower and have a registry. If your friends ask for your registry info in CA, you can provide it. If anyone who is suggesting a second shower wants to step up, they will. If not, I wouldn’t have anything formal
    Report Reply
  • sarahgouletsarahgoulet member
    As an update: Days after I posted this, another friend offered to host a CA shower! Problem solved! 
    Report Reply
  • zenmama06zenmama06 member
    My partner and I are co hosting with our parents because they just don’t really get our vibe so we are basically overseeing the whole thing and I don’t mind it at all. Everyone is busy these days. It’s nice to be able to share the responsibilities and finances for something like this. My close friends are hosting a blessingway for me closer to when baby is due and I am beyond excited for that support and connection with my sisters in my community. 
    Report Reply
  • knottie1336e91802fdc40cknottie1336e91802fdc40c member
    I’m having two showers! My mom is hosting one in my hometown, and my husband and I are hosting one where we live right now. I never really thought it was a big deal! Just a nice way to celebrate a big life change
    Report Reply
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"