When to tell family and friends

lesterbaby · March 2023

We are waiting until 12 weeks to share our news with anyone but ourselves. What is everyone else doing?

chrissdee · March 2023

I kept the secret for about a week, then gave in and told everyone. Keeping a secret makes me so anxious and I couldn’t handle it. 😂

UnwritteN12 · March 2023

Honestly, I'm really nervous to tell anyone outside of DH. I was a little nervous to tell him as well at first just because he was OK with being done. But he's actually thrilled about this baby too. I think it'll take a bit for everyone to come come out of shock when we tell them. Not to mention not be judgey. I just turned 40, DH is 44 and we have 4 kiddos already.

I have to keep reminding myself I'm an adult and I don't need to give a damn what anyone else thinks.

chrissdee · March 2023

@UnwritteN12 I get the whole judgy thing. I was nervous to tell my mom mostly because she thinks I have already taken on too much. I’m a working mom of 3 and all my sisters are stay at home moms (which is awesome for them, and more power to them because that’s a job in and of itself) and I’m judged for having to have my kids in daycare.

But YES you are a grown woman and it’s none of their business what you do. But for what it’s worth, I’m happy for you!

mrsmtothek · March 2023

I have my first appointment in 2 weeks, which ironically is the day my sister is coming to visit for DS' birthday...so I'll probably have to tell her and then the rest of my family somehow. I'd wait longer if I could, but she'd totally be suspicious if I didn't drink over the weekend

UnwritteN12 · March 2023

@chrissdee Thank you so much! I hate that you feel similarly but I'm glad I'm not alone.

ashsowers2020 · March 2023

We’ve told all of H’s family, and my sister and brother. I haven’t told my mom or other 2 siblings yet, I’m not as close with them and didn’t feel the “urge” to tell them. I will tell them probably after my appointment the end of the month. As for friends, we’ve told a handful of church friends but only the ones were closest to. We will tell everyone else either after our appointment the end of the month or around 12 weeks.

Kiek · March 2023

My husband, my mom, and my sister know. I think we will slowly tell close relatives here soon. I won’t be announcing until after my first appointment in April and I may wait until I cannot physically hide it anymore 😂. We have a medically complex child with severe special needs and really never expected to have more children after her. This was quite the surprise. We wanted more children but there is a lot of trauma surrounding her birth and first few years. I am really just savoring this time right now. I never thought I’d have this chance again. Once we announce we will have to deal with a lot of judgement and questions about what we are going to do given our situation. I’m long past the phase in my life where I care what other people think. It really doesn’t bother me. But this is so special for my family and I just don’t need to be bombarded with questions until absolutely necessary lol

babette-ate-oatmeal · March 2023

DH knows, my best friend, and DHs mom because she was having surgery and he thought it might help her anxiety. I am nervous to tell people because we had a loss at 12 weeks, and while some people were supportive, other people weren’t. This is pregnancy four, hopefully baby 3.

mrsmtothek · March 2023

Trying to figure out how to tell my sister I'm also pregnant is stumping me. She's 11 weeks along with her first, and this has been long awaited and anticipated as they were TTC for over a year. I don't want to steal her thunder whatsoever, but I'm just not sure how she'll react to the news. Anyone been in a similar predicament? I'll have to tell her over FaceTime too most likely

chrissdee · March 2023

@mrsmtothek that’s a tricky one. Not quite the same, but I found out my younger cousin who has been ttc for about a year just found out she is pregnant with her first baby as well. She’s due October 30, 2 days before me. I decided to reach out to her privately and let her know I was pregnant too, and offered to be someone for her to talk to about all the pregnancy stuff since we’re going through it all right about the same time. She was so excited for me. I also decided to not post anything on social media and just let her have that outlet as her place to shine right now.

knottie698b237bd92ff344 · March 2023

12-16 weeks. we aren't super close with family and we want to keep this in our happy little secret bubble without others getting involved for as long as possible

ashsowers2020 · March 2023

@mrsmtothek My SIL had been trying since me and hubby got married in 2020, she had 2 miscarriages between then and now. We have a 1 1/2 year old and now are pregnant again. She told us she is pregnant 1 day before our positive. We were so afraid to tell her but she was over the moon so excited when we did tell her. We’re 2 weeks apart

it will come out eventually anyway, I say if you have a great relationship with her she won’t consider it stealing her thunder and she will be absolutely thrilled

good luck!!! ♥️♥️♥️

ETA: we told her on FaceTime. And we will not be announcing it to friends until after she’s had the chance to share the news and soak in alllll the love and excitement. We’re being pretty quiet about it for now

mrsmtothek · March 2023

@chrissdee Good plan - I think I'll probably opt for something private too. So glad that went smoothly!!

@ashsowers2020 Thank you, this made me feel hopeful!! I hadn't thought about the fact that it has to come out at some point lol, puts things into perspective for sure.

dwise03 · March 2023

@mrsmtothek As someone who had this exact thing happen …my sister just had her 4th while I was going through Ivf and finally it worked…she will be thrilled if you’re close … the baby’s get to grow up together how cool is that!

mrsmtothek · March 2023

@dwise03 yes, I really hope this is how she feels!!

pearlierose · March 2023

I was planning on keeping it just between my DH and a trusted friend for several more weeks since I’m only 5 weeks. But I’ve been dealing with strong depression over the past week and feel like I need the support of more friends and family. I also don’t know how much longer I can manage my depression with work with out informing them and modifying my responsibilities. I know everyone will support me, it’s just so early to to disclose.

knottieda91337cb3904512 · March 2023

We were planning on waiting until I’m 12 weeks to tell anyone. So far just my husband knows. But we’re having a family gathering with my side of the family over Easter and everyone would be super suspicious if I didn’t drink, so we plan on telling that side of the family then (I’ll only be 9 weeks) and then try to wait until I’m a few more weeks along before we tell everyone else. We have two weddings coming up in May and I’m really struggling with how to time telling our friends and family in a way that doesn’t steal the spotlight from the brides. My best friend has also been TTC for over a year and they’re going through IVF right now so I’m nervous about telling her too 😬

goingcooney · March 2023

I’m soo nervous to tell anyone but after a week with only my husband knowing- I started feeling so alone. My mom passed and she def would’ve known before I even told him.

I’m 6.5 weeks. We decided to tell our parents and best friends. For support throughout and especially if something goes wrong. I plan on telling the rest of my family and friends maybe end of April - and Mother’s Day tell everyone else

ridedatide · March 2023

Because of our losses I don't really make a big deal about telling people. I was supposed to go up to my mom's for SB but decided to skip after finding out I was pregnant. I did not tell her until after my loss the last time. I just try not to get excited but stay positive. We definitely will not tell my daughter until after we find out all is good she has been hoping for a brother or sister for years.

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