Monday Rant 13 March

kitikab · March 2023

I’ve been summoned for jury duty. Pregnancy does not automatically exempt me, in my state. They want me to go to the downtown courthouse. You have to find and pay for your own parking, at best several blocks away. It will be the end of June, so probably uncomfortably hot. I will be 32 weeks.

I just needed to whine about it a bit. Lol

emeraldcity603 · March 2023

We post random things in the Random thread. Feel free to repost there. We do not do one off posts. It clutters our board and doesn’t help build community. We have many active threads you’re welcome to join in. Also, please change your username so we can interact with you better. We can’t tell you apart from any of the other knottienumbers. Then head over to the intro thread and intro so we know a little about you.

kitikab · March 2023

I introduced myself on the intro board back on 11 Feb. I apologize that my username hadn’t refreshed. I had several issues with my account and had to reach out to customer service again.

Since it is an ‘approved’ posting topic, as dictated by the self-appointed ‘moderators,’ I don’t understand the issue. Why didn’t the postings on December 12, 19, January 2, 9, or 16 receive this response?

emeraldcity603 · March 2023

Every single one off post receives this response.

kitikab · March 2023

Except your or your friends’ posts apparently.

kitikab · March 2023

It’s extremely sad how hostile a few people have made this group. It’s no wonder that most people aren’t joining in and when they do, they are responded to with aggression and juvenile attitudes.

Maybe you should consider your life choices and seriously analyze why you are so intent on cyber-bullying other women. Some of us are FIRST TIME moms or have struggled to conceive or have had losses. Have some compassion and realize that most of us left high school behavior in high school.

emeraldcity603 · March 2023

Every single board on this forum is ran this way. It’s not just this one. Go check a few out. The ones that actually build a COMMUNITY run the board this way. If you want to go post a bunch of one off threads feel free to do that on The Baby Center app or What to Expect App. Or the trimester boards on this app. That’s all they do over there. You won’t get to know anyone or build any meaningful relationships. That is what we do here. I have been on these boards for a decade now. I’m still apart of my BMB from 2014. Same with every other baby I have had. I know those ladies and have built a deep, lasting relationship not some superficial relationship. If this board isn’t your style that’s fine. We are very welcoming when people don’t come in being hostile like you.

You made a one off post. I informed you about that along with your name and asked you to change it SO WE COULD INTERACT WITH YOU BETTER. That was a clear invitation to join in. Then, I created the random thread and even TAGGED you in it hoping you would join in it and participate since you appeared to want to be apart of this board. That’s not hostile. You are the only hostile woman here.

Just so you know, I am very supportive with all the different situations women come in here facing. If you stopped whining and complaining about this board not being ran the way YOU want it to be you would know that about me. I know which ladies are here after a loss, I know the ladies who have left this group because they had a loss, I know the ones who struggled to conceive. I know them all. Why? Because I have invested time and energy to be supportive and build relationships. You need to step back and take a look at yourself and how selfish you’re being right now. You have made this entire board about you and why you don’t like it. It’s not about you or me. It’s about the group. So, maybe stop and actually take a look around and see what’s actually going on before you start crying bully!

emeraldcity603 · March 2023

Also, look in the thread that is titled READ THIS FIRST. It’s pinned at the top. The posts that me and my friends make are all weekly/monthly posts that we have all agreed on having. That’s why nothing is ever said about those. You didn’t realize that. That’s right, because you didn’t take time to lurk the board and check it out before running to make your own one off post. That’s the problem here.

benten24 · March 2023

^ everything @emeraldcity603 has said. She’s one of the most active people in this board, is very supportive, and all of these boards are run in a similar fashion. That’s what helps people stick together and actually become friends over time. The attack of her character and that of the other active members is unnecessary and quite frankly uncalled for.

gingermama29 · March 2023

@kitikab I honestly haven’t seen anyone respond aggressively to the one off posts. Generally it’s a polite redirection in order to keep the board organized and better facilitate building relationships. FWIW, there’s plenty of STMs, myself included, that have also experienced infertility and loss. I’ve found this group nothing but welcoming and supportive. The only one to complain about the way this board is run is you.

cherrystorming · March 2023

@kitikab I see both sides here

sounds like you did your research and tried to post an approved topic. There’s just been so many one off posts the last few weeks and when it comes up with a knottie username it’s easy to assume you didn’t understand how the board works. I’m sorry you felt attacked! I think we all know how easily good intents can be misunderstood online.

Perusing through some other months, I understand why some members are vigilant about maintaining no one-off posts. It does definitely clutter up the board and push topics down super fast making it hard to keep up a conversation. I didn’t really understand the insistence on that until looking at other months and seeing what happens when it isn’t enforced. Also as a first time user of this app I can definitely say it was super confusing at first which is good for us all to remember.

Just wanted to say I recognize nobody here had bad intent. I’m looking forward to getting to know you more @kitikab. @emeraldcity603 I also appreciate the time and energy you put in trying to keep things organized!

ki1244 · March 2023

Whoa, you go on a road trip for a day...

I think @cherrystorming said everything I would want to. I actually didn't think much of this original post because we did have Monday Bitchfest as a topic (that we just haven't posted in a while), but yeah, all the one-offs from knottienumbers gals lately are getting crazy too. @kitikab I'm glad you got your name figured out here -- this app is a straight up UI nightmare, so until that happened we couldn't really distinguish you from the other drive-bys (so tbh would have no idea you'd introduced yourself before!). I didn't actually think @emeraldcity603 was aggressive or hostile at all in the redirect, but things kind of got turned up to 11 really fast and I get that you felt singled out but yikes, that definitely, clearly, wasn't her intent.

Tone can be so hard to read so I hope we can give the benefit of the doubt all around and move on.

msjaay · March 2023

@kitikab I hope you stick around and post. Honestly, I had the same feelings when I first started back on these boards, but if you want to participate, you follow the rules

Granted, I’m an old head and started on the Knot 16 years ago, so all of the changes were very, very different for me! It’s worth it to build community though, if that’s important to you.

Me and the Knotties from my wedding board are still in contact every day and fly all across the country to see each other. We haven’t had a big gtg in awhile but I know a set of friends got together just last weekend. It’s really cool to see how our friendships have stood the test of time. My February 2021 due date board, not so much, but it can surely happen.

AlexisJoy92 · March 2023

Ok so I’m not really active at all and didn’t want to say anything but this is ridiculous and I guess I’m burning my bridge with this group by this post but someone needs to stick up for @kitikab. @emeraldcity you jumped the gun and owe her an apology Monday bitch fest is an approved weekly post something she tried to point out but you let your hormones get the better of you and didn’t think it through or read throughly enough to realize you were in the wrong to reprimand her for the post a reminder about the name sure but not the post itself and for everyone to jump on here defending you because your active and generally supportive doesn’t mean you were right this time @cherrystorming said it right but even then doesn’t seem like anyone wants to acknowledge this is an approved posted topic because @kitikab got understandably upset about the reaction she received

That is my Monday Bitch Fest post for the week of March 13 ❤️

emeraldcity603 · March 2023

@AlexisJoy92 How am I suppose to know this post from any other drive by one off post? It wasn’t titled as MONDAY BITCH FEST. It was titled to be a random one off post because that’s what this is. Also, any knottienumbers who starts a thread is going to be redirected to change their username at the very least.

emeraldcity603 · March 2023

I guess the lesson here is, if you don’t want to be mistaken for a drive by one off post, make sure it’s titled correctly.

AlexisJoy92 · March 2023

@emeraldcity603 “Monday Rant 13 March” is pretty close to Monday Bitch Fest 3/13 all I’m saying is you kinda jumped on her I acknowledged that there is nothing wrong with reminding her about the name but you repeatedly told her she didn’t read the rules about what can and can’t be approved when in reality all she did wrong was maybe slightly mislabel the title she tried to point out that it was approved and asked why the MBF from previous weeks weren’t removed but I think you had already taken this personally and didn’t realize that she wasn’t talking about all the random one off post but actual discussions I think you are incredible in the way you normally interact with this group but in this moment I think you are in the wrong and probably ran her off also there are other instances where maybe things could have been done differently for instance “Registry help - clothing items” maybe instead of the generic “ask in the mega questions thread” she could have been directed to change the title to ask a stm+ because that is also an approved topic and would fit there better than the mega questions thread I understand keeping the board organized but maybe to quickly we’re reprimanding post for not being exactly want we want instead of gently redirecting to keep things clean and organized

emeraldcity603 · March 2023

I’m not even bothering to read that massive block of text. I’m done talking about this. Move on. It was labeled like a one off post and it was treated like a one off post. There is nothing more to be said about it. If you don’t want it mistaken as a one off post, 1. Don’t post using a knottienumbers username and 2. Label it correctly. No one would have said a word had it been labeled correctly.

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